Your new fairytale
by TheDragonflyInn
Summary: Post season 7. With the minor change that Rory accepted Logan's proposal. It's set the night before their wedding when Rory receives a package containing a letter and a book.
1. To you and your prince

_Post season 7. With the minor change that Rory accepted Logan's proposal. It's set the night before their wedding when Rory receives a package containing a letter and a book. Oneshot._

* * *

Rory sinks down into an armchair at the The Dragonfly. She has been on her feet all day; last minute approval of center pieces, going over their choices of music, for the hundredth time assuring her grandmother that the inn is a wonderful place to have a wedding. She's beat. Logan gave up about an hour ago and went home. She's sleeping at her mother's tonight, so they can have the morning together, she will really need her mother there tomorrow to calm her nerves.

"Rory." Michel is coming down the stairs, walking up to her, holding a package of some kind. "This came for you earlier."  
She takes the package as he holds it out towards her.  
"What is it?"  
"How should I know? I'm merely the messenger, the errand boy you might say." He looks offended.  
"Thanks Michel."  
"Yes. You're welcome. Any other errands you want me to do before I leave? Dry cleaning maybe? Take out the garbage?"  
She smiles.  
"No, thanks again."  
"My pleasure." Michel puts on his coat and gets ready to leave. "See you tomorrow Rory."  
"See you tomorrow Michel."

Rory starts unwrapping the package. It has no address tag on it, so whoever left it must have done it in person. If it's from someone she knows, why didn't they just come find her? She's been here all day.

When she's unwrapped enough to see what the package contains she immediately drops it and gets up, running after Michel.  
She catches him at the parking lot.  
"Michel!" She runs up to him.  
"Ah, goody, you came up with errand?" He smiles, but it's a superficial smile.  
"Who left you this package?"  
"Some man. He said to give it to Rory Gilmore, I told him Rory Gilmore is inside, you can give it to her yourself. But he insisted. Very stubborn man."  
"When, when was he here?"  
"Earlier."  
"Yes, but earlier like hours ago, or earlier like moments ago?"  
"Earlier in the day."  
"Why didn't you give it to me until now?"  
"Well, I guess I'm rather new to these errand boy duties. You might want to tell your friend that, so next time he can deliver things to you himself."

Without replying Rory walks back to the inn, picks up the package and sits down in the armchair again. Inside the package is a book, "Endless" by Jess Mariano. He wrote another book! She looks at the cover, turns the book to look at the back cover, and then back to the front cover again. A letter falls out from between the pages of the book. She picks it up and starts reading.

_Rory,_

_I wanted to send you a copy of my latest book, so you would get a chance to read it before it came out in any bookstores. You're a smart girl so there's no use in denying what you'll probably figure out after just a few pages: it's about us. You and me. Our love. Something for you to look back on when you're old and grey.  
_

_I know tomorrow is your wedding day, and don't worry, this is not some last minute attempt from my side to try and win you back. That's not why I'm writing this letter._

_I've moved on. That last bit of hope that I so eagerly held on to all these years, I have finally let go of it. Although I will always cherish you in my heart, although I will always love you more than any words could ever describe, I felt this great sense of freedom the moment I let go._

_Don't search me up. You and I, we were just not meant to be. We were a fairytale without a happy ending. Now you're embarking on the next chapter in this new fairytale. From the bottom of my heart I hope that this fairytale will give you the happy ending you deserve._

_To you and your prince: May love always live in your hearts._

_Jess_

She sits for a long time, holding the letter in front of her. She reads it again, and again, silent tears falling from her eyes. After reading the letter for the fourth time she picks up the book and starts reading.

She sits for hours doing nothing but reading. When daylight starts shining through the windows she puts the book down. Tears are streaming down her face. It was not explicit in the book, but Jess was right, she would have figured out it was about the love they shared. It was a 403 page-long love letter.

She packs the book and the letter in her handbag and gets up. Like a robot, without thinking, without feeling she walks towards her car. She's empty inside, as if the pages of the book had absorbed all of her feelings.

She pulls up in front of her mother's house, shuts off the engine and takes a deep breath. Tears are still running down her face. She gave up long ago trying to wipe them away. New tears would just take their place, so what was the use? Why bother with the effort of wiping them away?

She walks into the house and finds her mother asleep on the couch. She had probably waited up for her and then fallen asleep. The TV is still on, although there is only a swarm of black and white dots all over the screen. She stands still looking at it. In a way it's kind of soothing, hypnotizing almost. The sound of Lorelai stirring in her sleep brings her back to reality.

"Mom." She says in a soft voice.  
Lorelai, who is otherwise a pretty deep sleeper, wakes up in an instant.  
"Honey?" She says in a confused tone, as she senses from that single word that something is wrong. She turns towards Rory, and at the sight of her tear-drenched face she gets up.  
"Honey, what's wrong?" She puts her arm around Rory's shoulders, leading her towards the kitchen and placing her in a chair. Rory doesn't say a word. She just stares in front of her with an empty look on her face.  
"You got cold feet?" Lorelai tries to smile. "It'll pass. You'll feel better once you get some coffee and start getting ready." She says, assuming that Rory has just woken up.  
Rory still doesn't answer. Lorelai starts getting worried, this is so unlike Rory. This emptiness, it's almost as if she is not there. Lorelai sits down next to her, putting her arm around her shoulders.  
"Rory? Honey? Speak to me, please. Tell me what's wrong."  
Rory looks up at her mother, as if she has just realized that she's there.  
"I can't marry Logan." She says, still so uncannily calm.


	2. Yet another unhappy ending

_To begin with I made this story as a oneshot even though it might ended a bit dramatic, I wanted to show how Jess, without tempting Rory with the dream of a life together, once again would lead her off the stray path she was on and set her straight. (Cause as we all know marrying Logan would definitely be the wrong path for Rory)_

_But the reviews I've gotten so far got me thinking about making the story more than a oneshot, and once I started thinking a possible plot took form in my head. _

_I've made a tiny, minor change in the first chapter, so you might want to read that again. (There's a chance you won't even notice the change, that's how minor it is, but it's still there, and it's a pretty important change for the future of the story so it had to be done)_

* * *

She had turned down the offer about going on Obama's campaign trail. She hadn't wanted to, but the choice had stood between Logan and the trail. And she had chosen Logan.

Now she had no job, no place to live and no plans whatsoever for the future. Sure, her mother probably wouldn't mind her dwelling around town for some time. But then what?

She had turned this amazing opportunity down to be with a guy. She buries her head in the pillows and wishes she could just disappear from the face of the earth.

Through the closed door she can hear her mother and Luke talking in the kitchen.  
"What did he do?" Even though he's whispering the force behind his words reveals him. Luke had always been so protective of her. And now she had let him down as well. She's not sure how, but she's certain she's let him down.  
Through Lorelai's shushing his voice is still heard. "Cause I swear, if he hurt her."  
She hears the slammer of something being taken out of the cupboard, probably coffee mugs, as Lorelai interrupts Luke.  
"I don't know what happened. She hasn't said a word." Her voice sounds worried.  
The sound of the coffee pot being put back in its place fills Rory with a feeling of familiarity as Luke continues:  
"I knew that kid was trouble the moment I saw him." Their voices disappear as they leave the kitchen and she dozes off to sleep.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Well, this is just plain ridiculous!" Rory wakes to the sound of her grandmother's voice. She glances over to the clock on her bedside table, a little over an hour has passed.  
"Mom, try to keep your voice down. Rory's sleeping in the next room." Lorelai whispers, a sharp contrast to her grandmother's irritated voice.  
"Sleeping!" She exclaims "She's not supposed to be sleeping. She's supposed to be getting married!"  
"Mom." Lorelai says in an assertive tone. "We're not discussing this in the kitchen."  
"Lorelai!"  
"Living room. Now." She hears her mother's footsteps leaving the kitchen and it's not long before they're followed by a clapper of heels against the floor.

Rory rolls over in the bed and stares at the wall. There's so much she should be feeling right now. Her wedding has just been cancelled. She should be wrecked with emotion, but there's nothing, just this emptiness eating away at her.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Rory." There's a soft knock on the door followed by her mother's entrance. Without saying anything else Lorelai sits down on the bed behind Rory's back; which is still facing the door as moving would require a physical effort that she's not sure she can master.

She has no idea how long she's been laying there. Time is no longer a factor that affects her life. Time is merely the thing that distinguishes one agonizing hour from the other.

"Rory, honey." Lorelai's soft hand is stroking her arm, cautiously as if she's afraid that the light touch of her fingers might hurt.  
"Do you want something to eat?"  
Rory shakes her head.  
"Something to drink?"  
Rory shakes her head again, the movement is barely visible.  
She hears Lorelai sigh, the sigh's trembling with dammed up emotions. If she turned her head around she's almost certain she would see tears in her mother's eyes.  
"I'm sorry." She says without moving, she never wanted to hurt her mother. She didn't want her mother crying.

"It' s okay. It's okay, honey. Don't worry, everything's taken care of." Lorelai bends down and slowly strokes Rory's hair. "Just take the time you need. I'll be here if you need me." She finishes off the last stroke by kissing Rory's forehead and then gets up from the bed.  
"I'm right outside the door if you feel like talking or if you just want someone to keep you company."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Rory!" She must have been slumbering again, cause the sound of someone calling her name from outside wakes her up.  
"Rory! Are you in there? Can you hear me?" It's Logan's voice. She shuts her eyes, suddenly painfully aware of all the chaos her cancelling the wedding must have caused.  
"Please come out and talk to me." She pinches her eyes trying to shut out his voice.  
"I need to…" A muffled sound is heard and Logan's voice is replaced with the sound of another familiar voice.  
"As of yet" It's her father's voice. She has never heard it sound so strong and powerful before. "I have no idea why she doesn't want to marry you. All I know is that she doesn't want to. And trust me, if I find out the reason is because you hurt her, you don't want to be anywhere near here."  
"And what if she's the one that hurt me? I left last night, and everything was okay. She kissed me before I left, she told me she loved me. Then I woke up this morning, thinking I'm the happiest man on earth, only to find out she's changed her mind." Logan's voice sounds resigned. She wonders how long he's been here, what they have told him, what he's thinking.  
"I'm sorry Logan." Her father's voice sounds restrained. "I'm sorry you're hurting, but you have to understand I'm on my daughter's side, whatever reason she has for cancelling this wedding."

Rory covers her ears with her hands. She doesn't want to hear anymore. Logan deserves an explanation, they all do, but she can't give them one. Not right now at least. She's not sure herself as to _why_ she cancelled the wedding. All she knew was that after reading Jess' book, and the letter that accompanied it, she couldn't possibly marry Logan.

Jess didn't want her to come search him up, Jess had moved on, and she would respect his wishes. But even if she couldn't be with Jess the thought of marrying someone else had nauseated her.

* * *

_So, what's the verdict? Should I have left it as a oneshot? I have a pretty good idea about how to continue, but your input would be appreciated._


	3. Endless fairytales

_The great stories that take place in our lives don't always have an ending. That's what separates them from the fairytales we read as children. That's how we know that they are real. They are without ending. They are endless._

Rory reads the last sentences of Jess' book again. Endless. A story without an ending. Not a never ending story, not a story throughout eternity, just a story without an ending.

He had wished a happy ending for her and Logan. "I hope this fairytale will give you the happy ending you deserve", she doesn't have to look at the letter, every word is imprinted in her mind. What did he mean by that? In his book he writes that the absence of an ending is what separates a real story from a fairy tale, still he wishes her and Logan a happy ending. Is he saying that her story with Logan isn't real? That it's just a fairytale?

Her heart races as she picks up the letter and starts reading it again. Maybe he tried to tell her something, maybe he wanted her to read between the lines, maybe it isn't over.

_Don't search me up. _No, no reading between the lines there.

_You and I, we were just not meant to be. _Meant to be. Has Jess ever said anything about fate, about being destined for something or someone? What's his take on that? Does he believe in it? If he does, then there's no reading between the lines, but if he doesn't if he considers it being nothing more than mumbo jumbo, then it could mean something, or rather, then that sentence would mean nothing.

She can't remember him ever saying anything on the matter so with a frustrated grunt she moves on to the next sentence.

_We were a fairytale without a happy ending. _This sentence throws her off. He refers to them as a fairytale. A fairytale without an ending, contradicting what he wrote in the book, but a fairytale nonetheless. What does that mean? Fairytales have endings, he said so in his book. That's what separates them from the real stories. Fairytales have endings, real life stories do not. They are a fairytale, but they don't have an ending.

She sighs and puts the letter down in front of her. If she's going to do this, she has to do it the right way. She can't let herself get swooped away by what she wishes to find in the letter. She has to look at the words as if her future happiness didn't depend on them. He didn't write 'a fairytale without an ending', he wrote 'a fairytale without a _happy_ ending', thus not contradicting himself.

As a matter of fact, he's even saying that their story wasn't real. Their story was as unreal as hers and Logan's; they were both fairytales.

_ Now you're embarking on the next chapter in this new fairytale._ Okay, so…she's in the middle of a new fairytale. Are all her relationships fairytales? Is that what he's saying? Is she not capable of having real life stories? No, the book was about her, and that was a real life story, it didn't have an ending. But the book was about their story, their fairytale as he put it in the letter. She sighs and moves on.

_From the bottom of my heart I hope that this fairytale will give you the happy ending you deserve._ He wants her to live in a fairytale? She deserves to live in a fairytale? She chose to be with Logan and therefore she has no right to a real story?

She resigns. Keeping this up will surely drive her crazy. There are no hidden meanings in the letter. He didn't secretly want to her to leave Logan at the altar and come rushing into his arms. All he wanted to do was to tell her that he moved and send her his best wishes for a happy future with Logan.

She attempts to throw the letter away, but the air catches the light letter and instead it slowly floats down and lands on the foot of the bed. She stares at the letter and the letter stares back at her, mocking her.


	4. Look at the mess you've created!

There's a light sound of footsteps outside her door and she looks up. She's sitting on her bed, legs crossed and stares out into the room.  
"See if you can get her to talk to you. She's hardly spoken a word." Lorelai's whispering voice sounds sad and choked with tears. "I don't know what to do."  
"I'll do my best, but if you can't get through to her…" It's Lane's voice. Lane. Lane was supposed to be her maid of honor. They had picked out an amazing dress together, a dress that matched the flowers in Rory's bouquet. Now Lane wouldn't get to wear the dress and there wouldn't be a bouquet to match it.

"Hey." The door is slowly opened and Lane steps in.  
"Hey." Rory looks up at her friend and follows her as she sits down besides her on the bed. Her face is worried, her body language reveals how uncomfortable she feels in the situation they're in. Lane. Sweet, wonderful, caring Lane. Rory knows her so well. She knows she's afraid to say the wrong things, that she's afraid she can't find the right things to say.  
"Thanks for coming." Rory whispers. She wants to make it easier for Lane, she doesn't want to see her best friend tip-toeing around her, afraid to upset her.

"What happened? Last night you were looking forward to the wedding. I don't get it. Did Logan do something?"  
Rory shakes her head and meets Lane's eyes. And in that instant she decides she needs to tell Lane about the letter. Not for Lane's sake, for her sake. She needs to talk to someone, she needs to vent.

Even though she usually discussed all problems in her life, big or small, with her mother, she wanted to talk to Lane. She couldn't explain why, just that maybe she wanted to feel the same naïve hope she felt when they used to discuss boys when they were younger, before everything became so complicated.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_"Lane, I got a letter from a boy."  
"A love letter? You're so lucky. Who's it from?"  
"I found it in my locker. It's from Jack."  
"Jack? He's kind of cute. What'd it say?"  
"He asks if I he can borrow my notes for English class."  
"Oooh, that's so romantic."_

Together they had analyzed every word in poor Jack's short note. Well, to be honest they hadn't stopped at the words, they had analyzed the pen he used, the paper it was written on and the way it was placed in her locker. As it turned out, Jack, whose existence previous to the letter they knew very little about, had been home sick for a week and the very same note he left Rory had also been placed in the five lockers that were closest to his own.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Lane, I got a letter from a boy." She says and tries to smile as if to mirror the excitement, the happiness and the hopes and dreams of that day so many years ago. But this letter was different, she was different. They were no longer naïve 12 year olds who saw romance in everything and to whom every cute boy came with the possibility of what in their young eyes could only be described as lifelong love.  
Lane smiles back at her, it's a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.  
"A love letter? Who's it from?" Lane immediately catches on, which is not surprising, only a week ago they'd been walking down memory lane as they were talking about Rory's speech at Lane's wedding and Rory had tried to figure out the different possibilities Lane had at reciprocating it.

Rory swallows before she answers. It was not unnoticed that Lane had left out the 'You're so lucky' comment. She was certain Lane remembered it, since Rory had been teasing her about that specific comment in combination with the "Oooh, that's so romantic' statement last week.  
"It's from Jess."  
"Oh." Lane looks shocked. "Oh my."  
Rory doesn't say anything; she just looks at Lane with a failed attempt at a smile. 'Oh my', yeah you could say that again.  
"So…" She hesitates. "…what did he say? He says he wants you back?"  
Rory shrugs her shoulders, points towards the letter and nods as if to encourage Lane to pick it up and see for herself.

Lane carefully reaches towards the letter, as if she half expects Rory to change her mind. She gives Rory a questioning look, which she answers with a short nod, before she opens the letter and starts reading.

While Lane's reading the letter Rory's heart starts pumping faster. What if Lane can see something she missed? Maybe there really _is_ a hidden meaning somewhere between the lines, a hidden meaning that she missed because she's been staring herself blind at the words, a hidden meaning that Lane's fresh eyes will discover. A hidden meaning that doesn't keep that door so irrevocably shut. For a short moment of time she remembers the spine-tingling feeling from that day so many years ago when she showed Lane the letter that had been shoved in her locker.

Lane looks up from the letter, Rory leans forward eager to hear what Lane have found in between the lines.  
"Sounds like he wrote to wish you good luck on your marriage." Lane looks confused.  
Rory's heart drops, no not drops, it slowly sinks until it hits the floor beneath the bed she's sitting on.

"But you know Jess better than I do. I could never figure him out. Is that all he's saying, or is there something more?" She looks at her with that same eager hope that Rory hade in her eyes just a few seconds ago.

To Lane she doesn't need to explain why she cancelled her wedding because of a simple 'I wish you and your groom all my best on your wedding day' letter. Lane knows that a letter from Jess could never be just a simple letter. She knows that nothing concerning Jess is simple. From the first day he stepped in to her room in Stars Hollow Jess had been stirring up her emotions.

Rory shakes her head.  
"No. There's nothing more."

This time there would be no analyzing of why he used that specific pen or what motives he could have had for choosing that specific paper to write on. This time there was no doubt that the pen and the paper were merely instruments, tools needed for him to tell her that he has moved on. That was all. Nothing more, nothing less.

They both sit quiet, staring out in to the same emptiness before them, as if they both just realized that they were not 12 anymore. As if the way in which everything was more complicated now was something new to both of them.

"Lane." Rory breaks the silence. "Would you…" The words get stuck in her throat; she clears it and tries again. "They…they deserve to know, you know? Why."  
Lane nods, agreeing and then stops as the realization hits her.  
"You want me to tell them?"  
Rory nods, afraid that she might be asking too much. She should be the one to tell them, but the murmur of voices she's been hearing from the living room all day tells her that there's a lot of people out there, and she doesn't want to break down in front of them. She can't break down in front of them. Still, they deserve to know. They have the right to know why they are making all this cancelling.

"Just tell them I realized I couldn't go through with it. Tell them he only wanted to wish me luck…" She can't fight it anymore, the tears start streaming down her face, but she needs to continue. "…tell them he only wanted that, nothing else, but I realized…" Lane moves closer to her and puts her arms around her.  
"Ssscchh…it's okay…sscchh, everything will be okay." She says while stroking Rory's back, trying to comfort her.  
"I realized I can't marry Logan…" she whispers into Lane's hair, her voice muffled by the tears. "…because I still love Jess."

Lane nods.  
"I will. I'll tell them that." She lays Rory down on the bed and starts tucking her in and Rory lets her. A feeling of relief fills her body; she's no longer alone in this. Lane's in there with her, and soon her mother will know. She attempts giving Lane a smile to show her how much she appreciates this.  
"Meanwhile you just lay back, and we'll take care of everything. Don't worry, everything will be okay, you'll see." Lane continues and strokes her hair back before she stands up.  
"I'll come back."

She listens to Lane's footsteps as they make their way towards the living room. Soon everyone will know. Soon everyone will know that Jess sent her a letter and that she cancelled the wedding.

She can't make out their voices, it's all just a low murmur until one voice is heard above the other, murmuring voices.  
"Jess!" It's Luke's voice. He sounds upset and she can almost picture him before her eyes, twitching his hands and pacing the room as he gets more and more agitated.  
"Jess did this!" His tone is both questioning and assertive at the same time.

Someone shushes at him, probably her mother and the conversation relapses into being nothing but a murmuring sound of indistinguishable voices.

She doesn't want Luke being mad at Jess for writing her that letter. It's not Jess' fault she called of the wedding. Didn't Lane tell them he only wrote to wish her good luck on her marriage? She has to make sure to explain that to Luke. She'll explain it later. She'll explain when the words "Jess doesn't want me back" will not drive tears up hear eyes and give her that panicky 'It's all too late' feeling she's gotten so used to these last hours.

Not many minutes has passed before she hears someone walking, no marching, into the kitchen. There's a scraping sound as something gets dragged against the table and then picked up. When the footsteps marches back towards the living room she hears the beeping sounds from the buttons on the phone. Probably someone's calling to cancel something. A heavy weight of guilt falls upon her at the thought of all the work associated with her cancelling the wedding. Work that she takes no part whatsoever in. _She_ cancelled the wedding, _she_ should be the one making all those dreadful phone calls. _She_ should have been the one telling the caterers there will be no wedding party to serve at, _she _should have been the one telling the florist that the beautiful flowers she picked out will not be needed, _she_ should have been the one telling the guests they invited that the Huntzberger-Gilmore wedding they planned to attend would not be taking place, _she_ should have been the one telling Logan that his bride would not be attending the wedding. She should have been, but she couldn't; she can't. The pain in her heart, her chest, her whole body, is paralyzing.

"You're damn right I sound angry!" Luke's voice rises above the quiet murmur once again. A suspicion flitters through her mind, and she sits up straight in the bed, could the number she heard someone dial be Jess' number? Did Luke call to yell at him? He doesn't deserve that. He has moved on, it's not his fault that the wedding is cancelled; it's she that hasn't moved on.

Without giving it any closer thought she gets up from the bed, opens the door starts making her way to the living room.  
"Nothing! You've done nothing you say? You've created a mess, that's what you've done! What were you thinking sending her a letter on her wedding day?" She hears Luke yelling into the phone and fastens her steps.

The living room is full of people, everyone's there; her mother, her father, Luke, Lane and Sookie and they're all busy cancelling and laying down plans. The only one to notice her is Paul Anka and he just slowly lifts his head and stares at her.  
Luke is standing in the far corner of the room, as if he thought that would subdue his voice and prevent it from carrying in to her room.  
"You didn't mean no harm? Are you kidding me Jess?"  
"Luke." She says with a soft, calm voice.  
Everybody stops, as if the whole room has frozen and they're all just staring at her. Luke's hand that's been holding the phone up to his ear drops and he stares at her with his mouth open, as if he's trying to say something but the words just won't come out.  
"It's not Jess' fault."  
"Honey…" Her mother gets up from the couch and starts walking towards her.

Rory shakes her head and looks at her mother, not at Luke, while she continues.  
"He just wanted to send his best wishes on my wedding day. It's not his fault that…" She hesitates, not sure how to continue, not sure how to formulate everything that's happened in to one short sentence. She shifts the focus of her eyes back, from her mother to Luke, making sure he hears and understands what she's saying. "…things got out of hand."

No one says a word. The only thing to break the awkward silence in which the whole house has been covered is the beeping sound as Luke hangs up the phone without as much as even looking at it.

* * *

_If you have any opinions regarding this story, good or bad, please share it with me, I would love to know what you're thinking!_


	5. Simple questions, complicated answers

_I discarded about five different ideas (some of them half-written) for this chapter before I settled for this particular one. I think I made the right choice. Still a bit unsure about the ending though, so reviews with your thoughts, especially on the ending, would be highly appreciated (as reviews always are)._

_And before we move on: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten so far, I only hope I can live up to your expectations in the coming chapters!_

* * *

Everyone simply stands in the living room, looking at Rory, as if they're afraid to break the silence. Luke stares at the floor, as if he's ashamed that he immediately jumped to the conclusion that Jess had deliberately done something to hurt Rory and make her cancel the wedding. And even though there is no doubt she _is_ hurting and the wedding _is_ definitely cancelled it wasn't Jess' intention; he'd made that very clear.

"I told them about the letter." Lane says after a while. The information is redundant, seeing as the knowledge about the letter is the reason they're all standing here in this awkward silence. But at least it breaks the tension in the room and everyone looks relieved.

"He should've known better." Luke mutters, still staring at the floor. But with his whole body he shows how relieved he is that Jess hadn't tried to ruin Rory's wedding.

"I don't want anyone being mad at Jess. He didn't want this." She gives it her best effort to try and make her voice sound firm and steady. "I'm the only one to blame for this mess, not Jess and not Logan."

"No one's blaming you honey." Her mother says while she walks over to her and places her arm around her shoulders. "No one's blaming anyone. It's just…it is what it is."

'It is what it is', the exact words Jess used when describing what they had before she left him at Truncheon that night. 'It is what it is', what a useless phrase. What does it even mean? It's just something people say when facing a situation they don't know how to describe. 'It is what it is', why didn't he tell her that what they had was love? Why didn't he tell her that what they had couldn't ever be replaced by anything else? Why didn't he stop her from leaving and convince her that they belong together?

Because she told him she loved Logan. Of course he didn't try to stop her. He let her go without saying anything about them for the same reasons that she's not already in Philadelphia knocking on his door: he respected that she had made her choice. Why couldn't she see then that the choice she made was the wrong one? Maybe if Logan hadn't got hurt in that Life and Death Brigade stunt things would be different? No, she can't come up with an answer, she doesn't want to come up with answer. It is what it is. This situation. She and Jess. It is what it is and what it has always been. Suddenly that phrase doesn't sound so useless.

"I should call Logan, I need to talk to him, let him know it's not his fault." She says as she realizes she needs to focus on the present, dwelling on the past and what could have been wouldn't do her any good.

"Don't think a call will be necessary." Her father says and points out the window. A car is parked outside in the drive way. It's Logan's car. "He's been sitting out there all day. I didn't know if you…I didn't know whether he was to blame or not. I told him to leave. He didn't." He looks ashamed, as if he's done something wrong by not letting Logan in the house.

"You don't have to talk to him right away if you feel it's too hard." Her mother quickly adds. "I could explain to him that you need more time."

Rory shakes her head.  
"No, I should talk to him. He deserves to know why this is happening."

Lorelai follows her to the door and stops her in the hallway.  
"What are going to tell him?"  
"The truth." She answers, not quite sure she knows what the truth is. The truth is that she loves Jess, but then what? Logan's going to ask questions, he's going to want answers. She hopes she can find answers, he deserves answers.  
"That you love Jess?" Lorelai looks at her, inspects her almost. Rory meets her eyes.  
"I don't want to lie to him. I've been lying enough as it is, to myself, to Logan, to all of you, that's what got me in this situation in the first place."  
Lorelai nods and hugs her and Rory leans towards her. Her mother might be the only person that could truly understand what she's going through. She'd gone through something similar not long ago when she married her father even though she still loved Luke.  
"We'll all be right here if you need us, any of us, all of us – we're here."

As if he'd been watching the front door Logan steps out of his car the moment she opens it. She takes a deep breath as if to steady herself and starts climbing the stairs.

"Logan." They're the only people out there, so she hadn't needed to say his name; he would have known anyway that she was there to talk to him, but she doesn't know how else to start.

"Rory?" He meets her half-way across the lawn, grabs her hands and looks at her. "What's going on here? What's happened?" His voice is worried.

She looks up at him, his hair's a mess, his clothes are in disarray and the whites in his eyes have turned red. She takes a deep breath. How's she supposed to explain everything to him? She's been leading him on, it's not his fault that she can't marry him, it's not his fault that Jess has taken up all the room in her heart, leaving no space at all for any other man. She's been lying to him, lying to herself; telling them both she loved him with all her heart and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She's been lying to both of them; and now both of them are hurting.

"Rory, talk to me. Tell me what happened." He bends his knees a bit and tries to get her to shift the focus of her eyes from the lawn to his eyes.  
"I'm so sorry Logan." She looks up and meets his eyes. Her eyes are stinging, as if she's about to cry.  
"Sorry about what? Whatever's happened we can solve this. Just tell me what's happened and we'll solve it, we'll work through it." He sounds desperate.  
"I'm so sorry, but I can't marry you."

He takes a step back and slowly looks at her from head to toe, he squints his eyes and there's suspicion in his voice when he asks the question he's very much entitled to ask.  
"Why?"

She takes a deep breath. Why. She doesn't how to explain it to him.  
"I should never have said yes in the first place." It was supposed to be a comfort, but Logan doesn't look comforted at all. He looks confused, tired, sad, angry and not the least bit comforted. He sighs.  
"Is it about the job? I didn't ask you to turn down that job. It was your choice."  
Yeah, it was her choice, he's right about that. But the choice had been between him _or_ the job. But then again, she had chosen him and the loss of the job was not why she had cancelled the wedding.  
"It's not about the job."

"What is it then? There has to be a reason Rory. Yesterday you wanted to marry me, today you don't. There has to be a reason." His eyes are tearing up and the sight of that makes the tears Rory's been trying to hold back impossible to stop.  
"I don't know what to tell you Logan, other than I can't. I wish there was a simple reason. I wish I could tell you that it's because I don't love you or that I despise you for letting me turn down that job, but I can't because it wouldn't be true." She tries to wipe the tears from her face using the back of her hand.  
"So what's the problem? Is there someone else?" He looks devastated, as if he just realized that could be the reason. "Please Rory, tell me there isn't someone else."

There was someone else; there had always been someone else. She had loved Logan, she really had, and to be honest she still did, but in her heart he would always be in second place. It was not fair against Logan to go along with the wedding, or with their relationship, as long as she still felt this way about Jess.

Jess didn't want to be with her anymore, so it was not a matter of her leaving Logan to be with Jess. Logan was a great guy, he deserved to be with a girl who could give him her whole heart. Rory couldn't, she had given hers away many years ago and she had never gotten it back.

"There isn't anyone else, at least not in the way you're probably picturing it." She regrets the words the second she says them. They had sounded so accusing and she don't want him to feel accused; she's the one that has made something wrong, not he.  
"The way I'm picturing it? What's that supposed to mean? Is there someone else or is there not? It's a simple question."

It might be a simple question, but there was no simple answer. In her heart, in her mind and in every aching fiber of her body there was someone else. But physically, next to her, willing to spend the rest of his life with her, there was no one. How do you explain that to someone whose heart you just broke?

"You know how in romantic movies they're always talking about the great love of their lives?" Movies? Couldn't she have come up with something better? A book at least. But he nods, even though the look in his eyes tells her he doesn't want to hear anymore. But she has to tell him, he has a right to know, she needs him to understand. Even though it might hurt him right now, eventually it would help him move on. "I was 17 when I met him and even though I've denied it to myself, I've loved him ever since. I've never really let him go. He doesn't want to be with me, he didn't ask me to leave you, but I still love him and it wouldn't be fair to you."

Logan looks down at the ground while she's talking, sighs and then meets her eyes again.  
"So you never really loved me? You wanted him all along?"  
"Of course I loved you, I still do, it's just…" She hesitates, how on earth is she supposed to explain it to him, without stomping on the pieces of his already broken heart?  
"You love him more." He sounds resigned.  
"Yeah." As a reflex she reaches her hand out to stroke his arm, to comfort him, but he pulls back, his eyes full of distrust.  
"I don't want you thinking I've been pining for him all the time while we were together. It wasn't like that." She quickly adds, she needs him to know that as well.  
"What was it like then?" He sounds irritated.

She wishes she had an answer for that, that would make this whole situation less confusing.  
"You deserve better Logan, you deserve to be with someone to whom you will always be number one. Someone who can't imagine living her life without you in it." She says, avoiding to answer his question all together.  
"I don't care about that! I love you, and you say you love me. That's all I need. That's all I care about." He's yelling now but she doesn't blame him, she would to in his situation.  
"You may feel like that now, but it wouldn't work. Not in the long run. I couldn't do that to you." She can hear how desperate her voice sounds and most probably Logan hears it too, because his whole body slows down, as if all his anger left him just as quickly as it showed up.

"So this is it for us?" There's not a trace of anger left in his voice, only sadness.  
"I'm sorry Logan. I really am." Her voice is tired and she feels tired. Even though she's been sleeping for the larger part of the day she still feels indescribably tired.  
"I should have known it was too good to be true." He shakes his head and starts walking to his car, his shoulders hanging low and his eyes set on the ground.  
She wishes there was some last words she could give him that would make it feel better, but there isn't.

He drives off without even looking at her, they hadn't even said good bye. But on the other hand, this whole conversation had been a good bye.  
"I'm sorry." She whispers into the mild summer night's air as she sits down on the porch steps and buries her head in her hands, crying.


	6. From one broken heart to another

_Okay, this is a really, really short chapter. My intention was to make it longer, but I really, really want to move on to the next chapter, which I'm very enthusiastic about, still I didn't want to skip this chapter altogether, since I do think it's a rather important one even though it's short. _

_I promise you that the next chapter will be longer, the longest one so far by the looks of it... and in my humble opinion, the best one so far!_

* * *

Rory's still sitting out on the porch steps. She has stopped crying but the feeling of guilt for hurting Logan hasn't gone away. This would have been their wedding night; their first night together as a married couple.

She's thankful when she hears the sound of someone opening the door and stepping out on the porch, she doesn't want to think about what this night was initially supposed to be.

She glances over her shoulder to see who had come out to…to what? Cheer her up? Keep her company? She's a bit surprised to see that the person that has come out and is now sitting down next to her is her father. She'd expected her mother to be the first one out.

Chris doesn't say anything to begin with. Instead he takes a long look at her before he stares out into the night and starts talking.  
"He'll feel better. It'll take time, but he'll feel better eventually."

She sighs.  
"I hope so, I hate seeing him like that. I hate seeing him like that, knowing I caused it."  
Her father looks at her again and nods reassuring.  
"I know he will. I've been in his shoes."

"Wha..." She doesn't even have time to finish that one word before it hits her. "Mum and Luke."'  
He nods again, his voice is sad when he continues.  
"Yeah. And believe me when I say that the hard part was not knowing your mother still loved Luke."  
"How do you mean?"  
"The hardest part was before I realized she did. I felt something wasn't right, somewhere deep inside I knew I was her second choice, and I thought I could live with it. But I couldn't. No one can be happy knowing they're second choice. No one wants to be a consolation prize. You did the right thing with Logan."

She wants to believe him, she wants to believe she did the right thing, but Logan had looked so sad, so dejected.  
"But if I hadn't told him Logan would never have known about Jess."  
Chris shakes his head.  
"Trust me on this kid, you spared him years of wondering where your mind's at late at night when your eyes drift off, years of being afraid to ask where your mind's at out of fear that the answer might break his heart."

His voice is sad but he manages to give her a smile. She smiles back. He has never talked to her like this before, never opened his heart like this. It feels good that they're able to have this kind of heartfelt conversation. Crazy as it might sound, maybe it wasn't until now, when all hope of a future between him and her mother was gone that they could have these kind of conversations.

"Thanks for sharing this with me. I know it must be hard for you, being reminded like this."  
"Don't worry about it. I just want you to know you don't have to feel bad, cause in the long run, you did the right thing here." He puts his arm around her shoulders and she leans in towards him and for a long time they just sit there, staring out into the night before them.


	7. Once upon a time

_Thanks everyone for reviewing, it means a lot so please keep on doing it! _

_As CircleSky pointed out, Lane should have asked about the book when she and Rory talked. I added a little something to that point in this chapter, but maybe I need to go back and revise the talk? Let me know!_

_And to SA-fan: Without spoiling anything I think I can say that I'm planning for the next chapter to give us a bit of insight as to what Lorelai might be thinking about the situation._

_And last, but not least: Thank you to Iscah McKrae for the wonderful picture you made for this story!  
_

* * *

It's still dark out when Rory wakes up; she rolls over and glances at the clock, 5 AM. Too early to get up. She rests her head back on the pillows and closes her eyes. After a few seconds she opens them again. It's no use. She's been sleeping enough since yesterday morning.

Her mother had tucked her in last night after the talk with Logan. Everyone had been so understanding, no one had asked questions. She knows they must be wondering, they must be wondering what will happen next, but no one asked. Lane was the only one that had asked a question. Before she left she had taken Rory aside and asked her about the book mentioned in the letter. Rory had promised to show it to her at a later time.

No one else knew about the book. Eventually she would tell them; eventually she would show the book to them. But right now she didn't want to share this with anyone else. Having the book there, right beside her bed, felt almost like having a small piece of Jess next to her and she wasn't ready to share that piece with anyone just yet.

She stretches her hand out, picks up Jess' book from the floor and turns on the bedside light. She slowly runs her hand over the front cover. A book about their love. She carefully opens it and reads the first sentence.

_Once upon a time there was a young boy who had lost all his faith in love. _

The first sentence reads like the start of a fairytale. But the book is no fairytale. The book is a story without an ending. She knows that now, but she didn't know it the first time she read the book.

His book tells the story about an old man and a teenage boy. After being left heart-broken by the girl he loves, the teenage boy tried to take his life. He survived but has lost all faith in love. One day he starts talking to the neighbor across the street; an old man that usually keeps to himself in his big house, filled with books. The old man tries to restore the teenager's belief in love and while doing so he tells him about a girl he fell in love with when he was a teenager and whom he has loved ever since.

There is no doubt that the old man in the book is Jess, and he's telling their story. She turns a few pages and starts reading on a randomly chosen page. The old man and the boy are having their first conversation while drinking coffee out on the old man's porch.

_The old man looked at the boy and felt sad. So young and yet so disillusioned.  
"You know, I fell in love when I was your age."  
The boy looked at him with disbelief.  
"She was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. Brown hair and eyes as blue as the sky. And she was smart too."  
The boy smirked.  
"Yeah, and I bet you were crazy in love, and then she broke your heart, and now you're going to tell me that a broken heart will heal and that I'll meet many other girls to love."  
The old man shook his head.  
"No. I never stopped loving her, I have never loved anyone else. My heart's been broken since she left my life many, many years ago."  
"Did she die?" The boy asked, suddenly interested in the old man's broken heart.  
"No."  
"What happened then?"  
"If you have the time, I'll tell you the story from the beginning. But it's not a story about a broken heart. It's a story about love."  
"Isn't that the same?"  
"No. A broken heart is merely one of the things love might bring in its train. There are many wonderful things that come along as well. Things you wouldn't want to miss out on."_

She would never have imagined that Jess' second book would be a book about love. But it wasn't the kind of love story you could find anywhere. It wasn't a feel-good, the boy gets the girl in the end, kind of book. It was a book about how love is always worth it. Even if you're left broken-hearted and alone, it will be worth it as long as you have had love in your life at least once. She turns another page.

_"You know, the second time I met her I showed her a magic trick."  
The boy raised his eye brows and looked at the old man as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
"Yeah, I know, corny, right?" The old man chortled. "I only wanted to get her attention and she hadn't been impressed or weak-kneed by my rebellious character the night before, so what was I to do?"  
The boy joined the old man in his laughter._

Rory smiles while reading. She remembers the magic trick and she remembers him giving her the book he 'borrowed' from her. He had left notes in the margin, clever, insightful notes, and she had realized that there was more to this boy than what he let people see. That move had triggered her curiosity and the more she learned about him the stronger her feelings grew until one day, without realizing how she got there, she was head over heels in love with him.

She runs her finger along the side of the book and puts her finger between two pages and skips to that place. This is the best she has felt since she got that letter, it's nice to look back and remember what they had. Sure, it's sad knowing they won't have it again, but it's nice knowing they had it. Just like the old man in the book said: it's not a story about a broken heart, it's a story about love.

In the page she just opened the man is telling the boy how the girl he loved had kissed him and then disappeared for an internship over the summer, without contacting him at all and then when she came back they got into an argument.

_"She was jealous of this blonde I hooked up with over the summer. She didn't admit it, but she was. So I told her I wasn't some lapdog that would sit around and wait for her like her boyfriend did." The old man smiled at the boy and whispered as in conspiracy. "Of course, you know I would have waited for her. I would have waited forever, the blonde was just a distraction to prevent myself from going crazy, and to be honest; the thought of making her jealous was rather pleasant at the time."_

Oh, she had been so jealous. She had been crazy with jealousy. Seeing Jess with Shane had made her furious. That was her first encounter with jealousy and she had hated that girl.

And she had tried to write him a letter. Every night the entire summer she had sat down with a pen and paper in front of her but the words just wouldn't come out. Writing to Dean had been easy, but writing to Jess – that had turned out to be impossible. There was so much she wanted to tell him, but in a letter; when she couldn't see his reactions to her words, when there was so much time for him to read and reread and interpret her words, see the feelings that was behind them, she simply couldn't. She figured it be better if she talked to him in person, she had planned on talking to him as soon as she got back, before Dean arrived. But nothing had gone as planned. Jess had been wrapped up with Shane and then Dean had arrived early and before she even had time to think about it everything was back in the same old rut it had always been – with the addition of Shane that is.

She flips through the pages again and stops at a random page somewhere near the middle of the book. It's the chapter were the man tells the boy how he left his love to go visit his father in California without even saying goodbye.

_"But if you loved her, why did you leave her?" The boy asked in confusion.  
"I left her because I wanted to come back as a man that was worthy of her love."  
The boy wrinkles his forehead.  
"But didn't she already love you?"  
"Maybe she did. But the boy I was then kept hurting her; he couldn't be the man she needed him to be. Therefore, I had to leave. You see, love can conquer many things and survive through the toughest ordeals, but love isn't immortal and sooner or later that boy would have killed her love."_

Would Jess have killed her love if he'd stayed? She can't imagine he could ever have. But there was a palpable difference in him now. He had matured. If that was because he needed to make amends with his father or because the years had changed him she had no idea. But she knows that chapter was written for her. Well, the entire book was written to her, but that chapter was especially important to her. It explained something that she never really understood. She had never understood how important it must have felt for him to leave.

Even though her father hadn't always been there for her she had a mother who would _always_ be there for her. She can't picture what it was like not having the support from at least one of your parents. His mother had sent him to Luke and hadn't even wanted him to come home for the holidays. Her mother had postponed Christmas only so they would be able to celebrate it together. His father had left when he was still a kid. So had hers, but her father had come back, several times, and she had always known that he loved her. Jess hadn't known that about his father. Maybe it had been an important step in Jess' life to go see his father, maybe he needed to understand why his father hadn't been there for him.

She continues reading where she left off.

_ "Didn't you miss her while you were away?" The boy asked, seeming unwilling to understand how someone could leave the one they love like the man had done.  
"Every hour of every day. That's why I couldn't say good bye. If she had asked me to stay I would have, and that would have been the beginning of the end for her love for me."_

If only she had known he was leaving, she would have wanted to kiss him goodbye, and she would have asked him to stay, she would have begged him to stay, so maybe it was for the best that he hadn't said goodbye. At least now she knows why he never said goodbye.

_ "Wasn't she mad that you left?"  
The old man chuckles.  
"Oh boy was she mad. A year later I saw her again, I tried to stay away cause I felt I wasn't done, I wasn't worthy yet, but our paths crossed and she told me off. Told me she was curious to see what possible explanation I could have for disappearing like that."  
"What'd you tell her?" The boy leans forward, reminding of a child all caught up in his favorite fairytale.  
"I told her I loved her, and then I fled."  
The boy wrinkles his forehead.  
"Why did you flee?"  
"Because I was afraid to hear her answer."_

What would she have answered? She wishes she could say with certainty that she would have told him she loved him, but she's not sure. She had been so mad at him and she had been so hurt by him leaving and walking the other way every time they happened to run into each other. She had been hurt that the reason for his first visit in Stars Hollow since he left had been to retrieve his car and not to give her an explanation. Now she knows why. He wasn't ready yet. The same way she hadn't been ready when he came to Yale and asked her to come with him. Their timing was never right, it still wasn't.

She takes a large bunch of pages between her fingers, turns them and lands on her visit to Philadelphia and Jess' opening of Truncheon. That was the last time she saw him and it is also the second to last chapter in his book. She starts reading.

_ "I finally felt as if I was worthy. I finally felt I had everything I needed to make her happy."_

Oh, Jess. Why couldn't he see that he needed nothing but himself to make her happy? He had been worthy since day one. She sighs. Jess was worthy, but it wouldn't have mattered if he wasn't; she would love him just as much either way and to complicate it even more, didn't that automatically make him worthy? She shakes her and continues to read.

_"So? Did she come?"  
"Yeah. She came. She was more beautiful than ever. The moment she walked through the door was the happiest moment in my life, I thought that her coming there, to see me, meant that we would finally be together."The man said sadly, foreshadowing that this had not turned out to be the happy reunion he had thought it would be._

She has to put the book down; the tears pouring out of her eyes are making the words all blurry. He had thought that she came because she wanted to be with him, and instead she had told him she was in love with someone else. She can't even imagine how that must have hurt him. It was so cruel of her, letting him build up all this hope of them finally being together and then with a few words ripping it all away.

She skips a few lines, she doesn't want to read about how she had let him kiss her, how she had let his hope raise as high as it could possibly get only to watch it crash down and shatter into a million pieces.

_"But by then you were a man worthy of her love, so why did she leave?"The boy impatiently said. As he was still only a teenager he remembered the fairytales he read not that many years ago and he longed for that kind of happy ending.  
"Because I waited for too long and another man had captured her heart."The man said and looked at the boy as if trying to imprint an important life-lesson in his mind.  
"Was he worthy of her love?"  
The man looked up at the ceiling and sighed, reluctant to answer, but the boys eyes begged him to and he continued.  
"When you love someone that much you'll never see anyone as worthy, not even yourself." _

Logan hadn't captured her heart. He couldn't have, her heart had always been with Jess, even though she hadn't known it. She had just been blinded. She had been so angry with Logan. When Jess kissed her she had felt that something was wrong, only she hadn't realized that Logan was what was wrong, not Jess.

She turns a few pages to last chapter were the boy and the man are talking about love. This time she doesn't start reading at a randomly chosen page, this time she knows which lines she wants to read. She wants to read the lines were the boy and the man are talking about love. 'Guess I'll call Matthew's poet and have him explain love to me', that's what Jess had said when she told him she loved Logan. She wonders if he did. Probably not, Jess had never been one to open his heart to people. The words in this chapters are all his own, his thoughts about love. With a deep sigh she starts reading.

_"What is love then?" The boy asked, sitting on the floor, legs crossed, beneath the old man's chair eagerly listening to every word.  
"Love is the most powerful of any emotion we humans are capable of feeling. Love can be both awful and wonderful. Love can make you happy as well as sad. Love can fill your head with thoughts and dreams just as easy as it can steal away the capability of thinking at all. All depending on whether you're the only one feeling this emotion or not.  
"I wish love would only have the power to make you happy, as it is now, I'm still not sure it's worth it."  
The man smiled, got up from his chair and picked out a book from his bookshelf.  
"Have you ever read 'The Count of Monte Cristo'?" He asked, the boy shook his head.  
"Let me read a few lines about feelings from the book to you." He opened the book at a marked page and started reading as the boy listened.  
"There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of living."The man closed the book and looked at the boy.  
"So you see, if you don't experience the sad consequences of love, you might not know to appreciate the wonderful consequences also connected with love."_

'The Count of Monte Cristo', she didn't know Jess had read that book, they had never discussed it. Then again, it had been several years since they last discussed a book.

'The Count of Monte Cristo' was a book about revenge and love. It's been years since she read that book, but she still remembers what comes after the quote; the count tells the young lovers that all human wisdom lingers in the two words: wait and hope. Right now, that is all she can do. She can wait for something to happen and she can hope that that something is Jess changing his mind about moving on.

* * *

_Don't know if 'The Count of Monte Cristo' is a book that either Jess or Rory would like, but it's a personal favorite and that quote just made so much sense there. If you haven't read it: Do it! That quote won't spoil anything!_


	8. Jess' redemption

_I hope I used the word redemption right in the title. Don't think I've mentioned it in this story, but I'm not a native speaker of English, so if you see a weird choice of words somewhere or a grammatical construction that makes no sense, you're more than welcome to point it out - that way preventing the errors from occuring in the future! :)_

* * *

"Rory?", There's a soft knock on the door, she must have fallen asleep. Jess' book lies next to her in the bed and she quickly hides it under her pillow before she answers and lets her mother know it's okay to come in.

"I brought coffee." Lorelai says and holds a mug out to Rory. She nods and takes the mug and sits up with her back against the wall, leaving some room on the bed for her mother to sit down.  
"Thanks."

Lorelai stares down into her coffee, looking a bit tense.  
"Paris sends her love. When the wedding got cancelled and since you didn't want to talk to anyone she went back to Hartford again." She says after a while, still staring down at her coffee.

Paris' Nanny was sick, a few days before the wedding she had a stroke. Nanny had always been very important for Paris, she had been more of a parent to her than either of her real parents. Rory was surprised that Paris had planned on leaving Nanny's room at the hospital long enough to attend the wedding, although she was sure the staff were relieved at the thought of a Paris-less night.

"What'd you tell her?" She hadn't really thought about what people thought about the cancelled wedding. Did they know that Jess sent her a letter? They must have told them something before they knew about the letter. "What did you tell everyone?" She adds.  
"I just said the wedding's been cancelled."  
Rory nods.  
"Then I let people make their own assumptions as to why. I mean, they would be anyways so why bother? Of course, Paris being Paris she wasn't satisfied by that explanation but I told her you'd call her when you felt better." Lorelai looks up at Rory and tries to smile, but the smile looks tensed, as does her whole being.

"What did grandma say?"Her grandmother had been thrilled about the wedding, almost more thrilled than Rory, something that probably should have given her a hint about how wrong this wedding had been from the beginning.  
"Well, your grandmother still thinks you got a case of cold feet and that I encouraged you to listen to your feet and cancel the wedding."  
"I'm so sorry mum." The weight of the guilt comes tumbling down on her again. The relationship between her mother and her grandmother was so fragile and now she had made things worse.  
Lorelai shakes her head.  
"Don't worry sweetie. I can handle it; after all I've had a lot of training."

Her mother sighs, bites her lips together and turns towards her.  
"Listen, Rory." She twitches her hands in front of her, looking nervous. "I keep thinking that if I hadn't…If I had been…nicer…to Jess…Maybe you wouldn't be in this…situation right now, maybe you would have been with Jess all along."  
"Mum." Rory throws her arms around her and hugs her. "Don't do that, don't blame yourself. This is not your fault."

Lorelai shakes her head and untangles herself from the hug.  
"I just need to get this off my chest, I haven't been able to sleep at all last night I just keep thinking this is all my fault." She holds her hand up as to stop Rory from talking and takes a deep breath. "I know I never really…approved of you and Jess. I thought Jess was just this bad boy phase that you needed to go through, and I keep looking back, thinking that you wouldn't be in this mess right now if only I had at least tried to give Jess a fair chance."

She takes another deep breath and her eyes start filling up with tears.  
"Mum, you don't need to…" Rory starts but Lorelai interrupts her, shaking her head again.  
"I need to tell you this, I need you to know that this whole thing with Luke and your father made me realize that you can't bargain with love, you can't reason with love. If Jess is the man you love, you should be with him. I know you probably think I hate him, but I don't. It's just…I was so scared when you started dating Jess. He wasn't your first boyfriend, but he was the first boyfriend I felt threatened by. I saw the way you looked at him – the same way I looked at your father about nine months before you were born. You never looked at Dean that way and I wasn't ready. I know the real question should have been whether you were ready or not, but I couldn't think straight, all I saw was this boy trying to steal you away from me. When you were with Dean I always felt included, I felt safe. Dean was safe. But then came this boy, he stole a beer out of my fridge and he was rude and I saw the way you looked at him and I wanted to pick you up, throw you over my shoulder and run in the opposite direction." Lorelai draws her breath and Rory can hear how the breath shudders with emotion.

"Mum, you know Jess and I never…" Rory starts, but once again her mother shakes her head and interrupts her.  
"I'm not talking about sex, or at least not only about sex. You and Jess, you had this…connection or whatever…this bond between you, you could talk for hours about things that I knew nothing about. When you were with Dean, it was you and me, teasing Dean cause he hadn't seen all of our favorite movies or because he didn't know about our little quirks and things, but with you and Jess, it wasn't you and me and this boy you were dating, it was you and the boy you were dating and me standing on the side. And I know it had to happen sooner or later, I mean I knew that sooner or later 'watching a movie with my mother' wouldn't be your idea of a perfect date, but it happened too soon. I wasn't ready to step down. I wasn't ready for a boy to replace me as your best friend. I still wanted to be the one you came to when you needed to talk, I still wanted to be the one who always understood you; that knew what you were thinking."

"You still are my best friend, you'll always be." By now Rory's eyes have filled up with tears as well.  
"I was just so jealous. You didn't talk to me about Jess. I don't blame you, I judged him after spending five minutes with him. But I didn't know what you were thinking, you didn't come to me to talk."

Rory leans over towards her mother and hugs her. For a long time they sit like that, quiet hugging each other. No further words are needed.

"I think you should go see him, talk to him. Tell him how you feel." Lorelai says when they are done hugging.  
Rory shakes her head.  
"He told me not to come, he wrote that in his letter."  
"But he doesn't know that you love him." Lorelai sounds insisting.  
"He knows I didn't get married." She shrugs her shoulders. "Even though Luke was yelling at him for sending me the letter, I think that information got through."  
"Yeah." Her mother sighs. "You know Luke called him back and apologized, right? Don't think he told him that much about the wedding not happening though." She hesitates, but continues after another sigh. "Are you really sure you don't want him to know?"

"He knows the wedding's off, if he has changed his mind about moving on he'll call, but it has to be his decision, he's the one that has moved on." Rory firmly states, trying to end that discussion, but her mother won't give up.  
"So you're really not going to tell him how you feel?"  
"He asked me not to come. If he has moved on, if he's happy, it wouldn't be right for me to come running after him to tell him I changed my mind." She pauses and shakes her head before she adds: "Not after how I treated him last time we met."

"Last time you met? At Truncheon?" Lorelai sounds surprised, Rory never told her what happened when she went to see Jess. She knows she went there for the opening, but she never told her what happened when all the other guests had left. Maybe her mother was right, maybe she never felt comfortable talking to her mother about Jess. She decides to let her know what happened at Truncheon that night, no more hiding things away.

"We kissed. I went alone to see him in Philadelphia and we kissed…then I told him I couldn't cheat on Logan." She takes a deep breath. "We kissed and then I told him I was in love with Logan."  
"Oh, sweetie." Her mother looks sad.  
"I was just so mad at Logan at the time, this was right after the…misunderstanding at Honor's wedding. I thought I couldn't trust what I was feeling, I thought it was just old feelings, memories of what had been, so I told him I loved Logan, and I didn't lie, I really loved, love, Logan, it's just…"  
"You love Jess more" Lorelai says without knowing she drawn the exact same conclusion Logan himself had drawn earlier.

At first Rory doesn't answer and then she throws her arms about and says:  
"It was never right. I loved – love – Logan, but there were so many things that weren't right. The way he proposed like that, in front of all those people. I couldn't possibly say no and embarrass him in front of them. I would have liked to have the time to think, if he knew me he should have known that. He should have known I would have liked to have time to think before making a life-changing decision."

Her mother doesn't say anything, she simply nods, as if she knows that these are things that Rory's been thinking about and now needs to get off her chest.  
"And I know he didn't ask me to turn down that job for him, but I did, and now I might have missed out on my chance to be a real reporter. It's not Logan's fault, and I don't blame him, I was the one who turned down the job because I wanted to get married instead. Although, deep inside, I didn't want to get married, I just didn't know it, and I didn't want to let him down, let grandma down, let everyone down, and postpone the wedding for God knows how long for a job. I mean, I was about to marry the heir of the Huntzberger Publishing Group, no need to worry about getting a job as a reporter then." She says the last sentences with such sarcasm it's impossible to miss it.

"It sounds like Jess' letter wasn't the only reason you cancelled this wedding. Sounds more like maybe Jess' letter was simply the last nail in the coffin." Her mother says, trying to sound comforting and consoling.  
Rory nods.  
"Yeah. Maybe it was."

Lorelai sighs and looks at Rory with an indecisive look on her face. She takes a deep breath and starts talking quickly, as if she's afraid she might change her mind.  
"I have to confess, even now, I'm sitting here, dying to see that letter he wrote, but I'm afraid to ask, because it's from Jess and I'm scared you won't wanna show it to me."

Rory reaches out and opens the drawer in her bedside table and picks up the letter.  
"No more hiding things away." She says as she hands the letter to her mother.


	9. Facing the consequences

_Thanks for you reviews! Reviews really turns on that 'I have to keep writing' feeling, so they really do make updates come quicker and it's always interesting to hear what you think about how the story's going!_

* * *

"He wrote a book about you?" Lorelai says, looking up from the letter.  
"Yeah, he did." Rory nods. "It's a book of memories I guess you could say." Memories and explanations, but she's not ready to show her mother the book just yet, in fact; she doesn't want anyone else to read the book at all. The idea of the book, their book, being available for anyone in bookstores makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn't want to share this with anyone, anyone besides Jess that is.

"Keep reading." She says, hoping her mother will pick up on her unwillingness to share the book. She probably shouldn't keep the book from her mother after the 'no more hiding things away' decision, but this isn't hiding the book away; hopefully her mother will understand.  
"It's not that I don't want to show you the book, it's just…he wrote the book, and he sent it to me before it came out in any bookstores, before anyone else could buy it and read it…I'm just not ready to share that with anyone yet."

Lorelai smiles towards her.  
"It's okay, you'll show it when you're ready, and if you'll never feel ready – that's okay too." She says and then shifts her attention back to the letter.

When finished reading Lorelai puts the letter down and wipes her eyes from some stray tears she hasn't been able to hold back.  
"He's good with the words that one."  
Rory nods, confirming.

"The letter seems to be pretty clear on the 'moving on' part." Lorelai says with a sorry look on her face.  
Rory nods again.  
"Yeah, there's no twisting the words or finding hidden meanings. He's moved on, simple as that."  
"And the book…" Lorelai says hesitatingly, as if she knows she's stepping on forbidden ground.  
"The book ends shortly after the night at Truncheon, nothing about moving on or the future in there." The book did picture a future Jess as an old man, living alone with his memories, but it didn't mention anything about what happened to the man between their meeting at Truncheon and the man's meeting with the boy.

"I could ask Luke to talk to him if you want. Get a hint about what this moving on thing really means." Lorelai says in a tone that shows she doesn't really believe in the idea.  
Rory shakes her head.  
"No. I made my choice that night when I walked out from Truncheon, and now I have to live with the consequences."  
Lorelai nods and they both sit in silence, staring at the floor.

"You know he would have left anyway." Rory suddenly says and Lorelai looks up.  
"Jess?" She asks, even though there's no doubt who Rory's talking about.  
"Yeah. He didn't leave because people in this town didn't like him. He was failing school, he wouldn't have graduated, he probably felt that he had let Luke down, and his father had showed up, there was just so much else going on with him at the time, I don't think he had time to worry about what the town thought about him."

"But still." Lorelai shrugs her shoulders. "I wish I had been nicer to him." She darts her head up and then turns to Rory with an excited and hopeful glance in her eyes.  
"You haven't had your phone turned on since that morning you told me you couldn't get married. Maybe Jess has tried to call you."

A glimpse of hope flitters through her heart. Her mother is right; the most logical thing for Jess to do if he wanted to talk to her would be to call her. But her phone has been turned off, maybe that's why he hasn't contacted her since finding out that she cancelled the wedding. Maybe he has left her a message. A message telling her that he was wrong about moving on, that he has changed his mind, that he wants them to be together.

She impatiently starts searching for her phone. She can't remember where she saw it last. She must have turned it off when she got home that morning – and then what? Where had she put it?

"Here" Her mother hands her the phone. "You left it in the kitchen."  
"Thanks." She says and smiles, the first genuine smile she's been able to master since she opened that package.  
Lorelai smiles back.  
"I'll go make us some breakfast. I think Luke left something breakfast-like in the fridge before he went to work, I'll see if I can heat it up." She gets up and leaves the room, but Rory hardly notices, she's busy staring at her phone as it starts up.

She has two new text messages and three new voicemails. She's a bit surprised, she had thought there would be more. She guesses her mother must have either done a good job explaining to people or strongly advised them not to call her.

She starts by looking at the texts. They're both from Logan. The first was sent not long after she had told Lorelai that she wanted to cancel the wedding.

_Your mother just told me you changed your mind and don't want to get married. What's going on here Ace? Why is your phone turned off? Call me as soon as you see this._

She takes a deep sigh and tries to hold back the tears that are threatening to escape her eyes. He must have felt such confusion, she should have told him herself. The weight of the guilt almost overpowers her; she should have told him. But it's too late now.

His next text is sent some hours later, probably right after she heard him yelling and talking to her father outside.

_I'm standing right outside your mother's house. Please come out and talk to me. I love you._

She tries not to think about how he must have felt; standing out there, not knowing what was going on or what was going to happen. To divert her thoughts she calls her voicemail to listen to the messages left there.

The automated voice tells her that the first message was left only minutes prior to the text from Logan.

"Please Rory, tell me this is some kind of sick joke." It's Logan's voice, he sounds scared. "Your _mother_ came her and told me you're cancelling the wedding." His tone is now questioning, as if he can't really believe what's happening. "And now you won't answer your phone? What is this? What's going on?"

At least it sounded like her mother had gone there and told him in person. She doesn't feel quite as bad, but again; she should have told him, not her mother. She skips to the next message.

"Rory" It's Honor's voice, it sounds confused and worried. "I just spoke with Logan, he…" Rory presses the button to skip this voicemail and move on to the next. Honor's voice painfully reminds her of the number of people besides Logan she has let down the last couple of days.

"You could at least have had the decency to tell me yourself, to my face." It's Logan's voice again, drunk. Judging by the time this message was left it was several hours after their talk. "_You_ should have told me. To. My. Face. You, Rory, not your mother."

He's right. He's the first one to tell her out loud what she's been telling herself ever since she woke up the first time on the day that was supposed to be her wedding day: she should have been the one to tell him.

She hears him take a gulp of something before he continues. "She never liked me. Your mother. I saw the look on her face when I asked her for your hand. Hell, I saw the look on her face when you said yes."

He laughs a short, bitter laugh before he continues. "That was not the answer she was hoping for, let me tell you that. Not the answer she wanted, nope. Not the son-in-law she wanted. Guess _she_'s happy now." She hears him take another gulp of whatever it is he's drinking. Probably not water. "What about this other guy, huh? The guy you love? The guy you never, ever ever let go off. Does Lorelai like him? Does the mighty Lorelai approve? Bet she does. I bet _everyone_ was _very_ supportive of your choice."

He makes another pause and she hears him downing several gulps before he continues his monolog. "Logan Huntzberger – the screw up, the black sheep of the otherwise immensely respectable, upstanding Huntzberger family. Close call Gilmore."

There's a long pause and she can hear him take several deep breaths before he continues. "I love you Rory." He's crying now. "I love you so much."

Voices are heard in the background and seconds thereafter it sounds like someone's struggling with Logan to take the phone away from him.  
"I love you Rory!" She hears Logan yelling from a distance and at the same time she hears Colin's voice talking in an accusing tone to someone.  
"You were supposed to watch him."  
"I was, but there was this red-head at the bar." It's Finn's voice. At least Logan's not alone, although she doubts Colin's and Finn's abilities to be comforting and understanding.

A lot of noises are heard, drowning out most of their voices.  
"Take his phone!" Finn's voice is heard over the turmoil and a few seconds later she hears Colin's voice close to the speaker as he says: "Sorry, wrong number", in a formal tone before he hangs up.

An automated voice follows, telling her that there are no more messages.

She tries to remember her father's words; _"you did the right thing here"_, she knows she did. Marrying Logan while she was still in love with Jess would have been nothing but cruel to both of them. _"He'll feel better eventually"_, she really hopes he will. She takes a deep sigh, 'he will feel better, I did the right thing', she repeats that sentence a few times in her head, trying to convince herself.

"Breakfast's ready." Lorelai looks at her with a questioning and hopeful look on her face. Rory shakes her head in response. Her mother makes a sad face.  
"I'm sorry honey."  
"It's okay." She says, although she feels anything but okay.

Jess hadn't left a message. She needs to stop doing this to herself. With every time her hope raises the fall back into reality gets harder.

Why can't her mind grasp the fact that he has moved on? Why is it so hard for her to understand? Why does her heart have to keep whispering 'maybe, maybe' to that stubborn feeling of hope?

How do you do it? How do you move on? Do you just wake up one day and decide it's time to let go off the past and move on? She wishes she could call Jess and ask him how he'd done it. If you're really able to totally let go of a person, if you can move on without ever looking back – was it really love? The old man in the book said that his heart was still broken, did that mean that Jess' heart was still broken? If it was, how could he move on?

She sighs and walks out into the kitchen to have breakfast with her mother. Some thoughts better be left alone, to prevent yourself from going crazy.


	10. Daydreams, distractions and force fields

_So, I had this chapter half-written, and then I came up with an idea about how to continue the story, and now I'm so impatient to get there that I actually skipped the spin class I was supposed to go to tonight (didn't cry about it though :P ) and instead finished this chapter._

* * *

Rory sits in front of the desk in her old bedroom, staring at the computer. She bites her lower lip, closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and opens them again. With a determined look on her face she starts writing "Jess" in the google search field. She hesitates for several seconds before she hits space. She hesitates again, shakes her head and with a stern look on her face she erases the name.

She sits back in the chair and closes her eyes again. It's so tempting, all she has to do is enter his full name and maybe some specifics; the name of one of his books or where lives, hit search and then there will be at least a few pages of information for her to read. Probably a few book reviews, maybe even an interview.

She doesn't know what she needs the information for. She doesn't know why it is so tempting to see the results from googling "Jess Mariano Philadelphia". What is she hoping for? A webpage with the words "Rory Gilmore, I haven't moved on, come look me up" written in big letters?

She shakes her head and relocates herself from the chair to the bed, thereby removing the temptation of having the computer so close at hand.

She should stop obsessing. His letter expressed very clearly that he didn't want to see her again. How was that supposed to work anyway? Her mother and Luke were practically living together already and the preparations of Rory's wedding had lit a spark in both of their eyes. Did he want them to have shared custody? She gets Christmases and he gets Thanksgivings? Even if he didn't want to spend his holidays with Luke at all because of her, his mother still lived in Stars Hollow. And not to forget Doula, his little half-sister. He had to visit them at some time.

And what if her mother and Luke did decide to get married? Would he not go to the wedding only to avoid seeing her?

She sighs. "Don't look me up" wasn't exactly the same thing as "I don't want to see you ever again".

What if they would meet at the wedding? She would probably be involved in the ceremony, and so would he. Maybe they would stand on each side of Luke and Lorelai when they exchanged their vows. She closes her eyes and tries to see the scenario before her eyes. The minister would start talking about love; he would say wonderful, big words about love, words that shot right to your heart and maybe then Jess would look up at her and realize he didn't know what he was talking about when he said that he moved on.

What if he brought a date to the wedding? Her daydreaming comes to an abrupt end as that thought crosses her mind. Maybe he has moved on to someone else?

A suffocating desperation rises in her body as she reaches for the letter, which she never keeps out of sight. She reads the part where he tells her he has moved on over and over again, looking for signs indicating that he has moved on to someone else.

_I've moved on. That last bit of hope that I so eagerly held on to all these years, I have finally let go of it. Although I will always cherish you in my heart, although I will always love you more than any words could ever describe, I felt this great sense of freedom the moment I let go._

He's saying he felt a great sense of freedom when he let go. You're not free if you belong to someone else. Or maybe he only meant he's free from her, freed from the hope of them ever being together. Maybe there was a girl that helped him attain that sense of freedom. Maybe that was how he was able to let go – by grabbing on to someone else.

The thought of Christmases, Thanksgivings and weddings with Jess and a girlfriend makes her feel sick. Jess with a girl. Jess with another girl. No! It couldn't be. They belonged together she and Jess. He couldn't be with another girl, that would be wrong.

On the other hand, not even two days ago she almost married another man. Almost. She didn't marry another man, she only almost did. Jess had stopped her from making that mistake. What if he needed her to stop him from making a similar mistake?

Maybe she should write him a letter, tell him that she hasn't let go. Tell him that she can't see how she will ever be able to move on.

No, she isn't going to do this again. She isn't going to talk herself into believing that he didn't truly mean what he wrote in the letter.

She has to do something other than sit in her room and think. Her thoughts are too dangerous; to misleading. She needs to focus on something else to take her mind of Jess.

She walks out into the kitchen. It's empty. She takes a look around and calls out "Mom?"  
"I'm out here!" Her mother yells back from outside.

She walks out and finds her mother standing on the lawn, holding one end of a leash. On the other end of the leash is Paul Anka sitting, looking at her with an amused look on his face. If dogs can even look amused, although Paul Anka isn't like any other dog, so if anyone could it would be him.

"What's going on?" She asks, smiling.  
"Well" Lorelai answers. "I'm trying to take Paul Anka for his walk, but he suddenly decided that that the lawn in our front yard is bordered with an invisible force field, which is impossible for him to cross. Obviously not caring that I have to be back at the Inn in less than…" She takes a quick glance at her watch "…20 minutes for the staff-meeting."

"I can take him" She offers, holding her hand out towards the leash.  
"You, sure? It would save me from Michel ranting about me being late for staff-meeting – again."  
Rory nods.  
"I'm sure."

Lorelai hesitates for a second before handing Rory the leash.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." She says as she hurries inside to switch her shoes and grab her bag.  
"No problem. I need the distraction." She says and looks at Paul Anka who is staring at her, seeming a bit confused about the switch.

"Is there anything else I can do to help? I mean, the cancelling stuff, is there anything you want me to do?" She asks, desperate to find something that will distract her mind.  
"No, everything's taken care of." Lorelai shakes her head as she talks and puts on her shoes.

"Are you sure? I could really need something to take my mind off…things."  
"Well…" Lorelai walks out on the porch and stops to ponder. "If you really need something to take your mind off things you could go to the video store, rent a really good movie and I'll pick up some junk food from Al's on the way home and tell Luke he has to work late tonight and we'll have a movie night. Sounds like a good enough distraction for you?"

Rory smiles.  
"As long as it's not a romantic comedy were they all end up being happy and in love, it's good enough for me."  
Lorelai stops besides Rory on her way to the car and puts her arm on her shoulder.  
"You know what? For you, we could even rent that Fast and the Furious movie you've been nagging at me watch with you."  
Rory wrinkles her forehead.  
"Pretty sure it was _you_ nagging at _me_ to watch that movie with you."  
"Nooo, you sure? I could have sworn it was the other way around."  
Rory nods, smiling.  
"Mhm, pretty sure I said no to watching it every single time you asked me."  
"No, _I_ said no every single time _you_ asked me. But now, tonight, seeing as it is _you_ that need a distraction – I'm saying, yes, we can watch The Fast and the Furious."  
Lorelai starts walking to her car.  
"Nice try mom!" Rory yells after her.  
Her mother turns around and looks at her, pouting.  
"But I _so_ want to see that movie!"  
"Watch it with Luke!"  
"It's not the same!" She says before she jumps into her car and starts backing out of the drive way.

"Okay." Rory turns to face Paul Anka. "I'm not in a hurry. I could wait _all_ day. So I guess I'll sit down and we can wait that force field out together." She bends her knees to sit down when Paul Anka suddenly darts to his feet and starts pulling the leash down the drive way, following Lorelai's car.

"O-okay. A fast walk I guess it is then." Rory says, jogging along, trying to hold the dog back.

* * *

_Okay, a quick question, hoping there's someone out there who's better at math than I am: between the episode "The real Paul Anka" in season 6 and the series finale in season 7, how much time did pass? A year? A year and a half? _

_Logan graduates in the last episode of season 6 and Rory in the last episode of season 7, that would make it a year between those episodes, right?  
I suck at math, and this is not a vital question for the continuation of the story, but since I started thinking about it it's been driving me crazy and I would like to get it right. So, anyone?_


	11. The snob or the genes?

_Okay, I know you're all probably waiting impatiently for Jess to appear in this story – so am I (thus explaining the rather speedy update-rate_ I've_ been keeping the last couple of days, but I sort of had a plan for things that would happen before he appears, and I'm trying to restrain my impatience and stick to the plan). He will appear soon, very soon. _

_Without spoiling anything I can say that soon there will even be several chapters from Jess point of view…_

* * *

With a smile on her face Rory walks out of the video store. She rented the Fast and the Furious 1 and 2 and she can't wait to see the look on her mother's face. She had tried in so many ways to convince her that they should watch that movie together. She had even acted out a little trailer to try and intrigue Rory. She smiles at the memory of her mother dashing around the living room with imaginary steering wheel in her hands, making car noises.

Rory's saying no had turn into more of a matter of principle than her actually not wanting to see that movie. But this time it felt like a safe choice, cars racing and crashing wasn't something that felt the least bit romantic.

When walking past Doose's on her way home she decides to go in and buy some ice-cream. Ice-cream was a given when you were going through love troubles, or any troubles for that matter. Ice-cream was always a given.

She smiles as she walks through Doose's. Movie night was a good suggestion, it hasn't even started yet and she already feels better. Happy almost. Maybe this was the way to do it – focusing on other things until that stinging pain she felt when thinking about Jess diminished.

She starts heading for the cashier when a thought crosses her mind, making her stop. Sprinkles! She needs sprinkles! Sprinkles in happy, cheerful colors, to truly distract her from anything sad and depressing. She turns around, searching for sprinkles.

While walking down the aisle with the sprinkles in it she overhears some people talking in the next aisle. She quickly deduces that they're talking about the cancelled wedding, so she stops and listens.  
"If you want my opinion, even though the young man had pretty face, he was a bit of a snob, fancied himself being better than the rest of us" It's Miss Patty's voice, she's talking about Logan. Rory frowns.  
"I don't think the boy is the one to blame here." Taylor's voice is heard in response, and some other voices murmurs in agree.

Rory sends a thankful thought to Taylor for defending Logan, a bit surprised though. But she quickly changes her mind when he continues.  
"Her mother has been headed for the aisle several times, with different men, and never managed to close the deal. These things run in the genes." He sounds lecturing.  
"Lorelai did marry Christopher in Paris." Miss Patty argues in her mother's defense.  
"Yes, but that didn't last long, did it? It's the genes I tell you. They're too independent both of them." Taylor argues back.

She can't listen anymore. With the shopping basket still in her hand she runs out of the store and keeps running until she's standing on the lawn of her mother's house, all out of breath. They're blaming Logan. They're blaming Logan and her mother. They don't deserve that.

She takes several deep breaths before she slowly she starts walking into the house. As in a trance she puts the shopping basket on the kitchen table and walks into her room and lies down on the bed.

It's not Logan's fault that she cancelled the wedding. He has done nothing but love her and trust her. It was she that couldn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. And still, they're blaming him. Logan wasn't to snobby for Stars Hollow, he didn't look down on the people living there – he just wasn't used to living in a small town like Stars Hollow. It was all completely new for him. New and interesting. He had been interested when they walked around, he hadn't looked down on anyone, he didn't deserve to be blamed.

Besides, who were they to blame someone for looking down at people, for judging them based on where they came from? They had all looked down on Jess and judged him because he came from New York and had a hard time adjusting to Stars Hollow.

And it's certainly not her mother's fault. Her mother might have hit some bumps in her love life in the past, but all of those bumps had led her to Luke and she had never seen her mother being happier than she was with Luke. She wasn't too independent, she needed Luke – she needed Luke the same way Rory needed Jess. The difference only being that her mother had Luke by her side, Rory didn't have Jess and she would most probably never have.

She starts crying and she doesn't know why. She doesn't know whether it's for Logan, or her mother, or over the fact that she has lost Jess. She doesn't know but she can't stop crying.

A while later, when she hears her mother opening the front door she has stopped crying, but her eyes still hurt from all the tears.

"Okay, I've got a ton of Chinese food, little bit of everything." Rory doesn't answer and her mother continues while her voice comes closer and closer. "What movie did you choose? I feel I have to warn you, if you chose…" Her voice stops and Rory hears her walking into the kitchen.

"Honey? Were Doose's out of bags, or why did you bring the shopping basket home with you?"  
Rory clears her throat and stands up, trying to look as if everything is okay.  
"Yeah, I-I'll give it back tomorrow." She forces a smile on her lips. "So, I rented the Fast and the Furious."

Lorelai doesn't react at all to the choice of movie, instead she looks at Rory with a worried look on her face.  
"What's going on?"  
Rory shakes her head and walks over to the shopping basket, starting to pick up the ice-cream and the sprinkles.  
"Nothing. I bought ice-cream and sprinkles, although the ice-cream might have melted a bit, but that doesn't really matter, does it? Sometimes it's even better when it's half melted, then you can mix the sprinkles in there instead of just sprinkling them on the top. Should I leave them out to melt some more while we eat the Chinese, or should I put them in the freezer, what do you think?"

"Rory." Her mother looks at her and takes the ice-cream from her hands and puts them on the counter. "Let's leave the ice-cream aside for awhile and you could tell me what's going on."  
"Nothing's going on – besides the ice-cream melting."

Lorelai gives her a disbelieving look.  
"Rory, come on hon. Tell me."  
Rory sighs.  
"I heard Taylor and some other people talking…about the wedding, or rather about the non-wedding."  
"Okay." She bites her lip. "You must have known they would be talking, right? After all, you lived here almost your entire life, the gossip-rate in this town can't be of any news for you."

"It's not that they were talking, I knew they would do that…It's what they were saying." Rory doesn't want to hurt her mother's feelings by telling her they were talking about her so she quickly adds. "But it's okay, I'll get over it."

Lorelai gives her a long look but apparently decides not to pressure her at the time being as she picks the movies up from the kitchen table.  
"So the Fast and the Furious? You finally caved, proving that nagging isn't useless. I'll make sure to remember that in the future. All those years I've wasted thinking there was no point in nagging at you." She smiles and offers her arm to Rory, nodding towards the living room. "Shall we? Our Chinese food awaits us."


	12. A manuscript dream

Rory turns off the light and crawls into bed. They hadn't done much talking during the movie – that was a first. But it had felt good concentrating your thoughts on something besides the commotion going on around and inside her.

How did she get herself into this mess? Is it even possible to feel this many emotions at the same time? Love, desperation, regret, guilt, despair, anger, sadness and that stubborn little ounce of hope that never gives up.

_I've moved on._ You don't go and try to get someone back when they said that they moved on.

_I've moved on._ It's so definite, I have moved forward and left you behind.

_I've moved on._ How could those simple words evoke such pains?

_I have finally let go._ Finally, as if it's something he's wanted to do for a long time.

Her eyes fill up with tears. "I have not let go" she wanted to scream, she wanted to get up on the roof top and scream out to the world "I have not let go, I have not moved on". Instead she pulls the cover over her head and whispers into the pillows: "I have not let go."

With her head filled with thoughts about Jess and Logan she drifts away to sleep. Sometime after the first beams of daylight she starts dreaming.

She's standing in Logan's dorm room at Yale. He's standing right in front of her, only a few inches away.  
"I'll be your boyfriend." He says, looking down at her.  
"You can't be my boyfriend."  
"Why not?"  
"Because you told me that you can't be my boyfriend."  
"If I say I can, then I can."

Before her eyes Logan's hair darkens, as does his eyes. His upfront, almost giggly laughter turns into a crooked smile.  
"Jess!" She exclaims and moves closer towards him and reaches her hands out as to embrace him.

"I'm sorry" He says and puts up his hand between them as to keep the distance."Did I hear from you at all this summer? Did I just happen to miss the thousands of phone calls you made to me, or did the postman happen to lose all those letters you wrote to me? Then you come back here all put out because I didn't just sit around and wait for you?"  
He's talking about the summer she spent in Washington, the summer before they admitted to themselves, and everyone else, that they had feelings for each other. Strong feelings.  
"I' sorry Jess. I…I just didn't know what to say." She tries to explain to him. "I tried, I wanted to. You were on my mind that entire summer. I may have written letters to Dean, but I dreamed of you."  
"Come with me." He says in a calm voice.

"What?" Suddenly they're standing in her old dorm room at Yale.  
"Come with me." He repeats, more insistent this time.  
"Where?" It doesn't matter where, she'll go with him anywhere, but the question comes out before she can stop it.  
"I don't know…away!"  
"It's not what I want" It is what she wants, but she can't control her words, she has no influence over the words coming out of her mouth. It's like watching a movie, only she's one of the actors and she has no control over what's happening, the script was written long ago and can't be changed.  
"You know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it to. I know you do"  
"No, no, no, no, no!" Yes, yes, yes, yes is what she should say. Yes we're supposed to be together, I know that now, I didn't know it then, but I know it now.  
"Don't say 'no' just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say 'no' if you really want me to move on." If you want me to move on? Was that really in the script? How come he can change the script but she can't.  
"No." The word comes out of her mouth without her being able to control it.

Jess has started walking away, he's already out the door. Panicked, afraid that it's too late she runs after him, she has to catch him before he leaves her life forever. She runs out the gates of the dorm house…and steps into Truncheon? She looks around her, filled with confusion. Yes, it's Truncheon. She looks around and sees Jess sitting at a stool in the middle of the room.

"Jess." She says and runs up to him, he looks up at her.  
"I thought everything was fixed."  
She walks up to him, takes a breath and just as she's about to tell him that now everything is fixed he starts talking again.  
"I hate this. I don't deserve this, Rory." He gets up from the stool and walks towards the stairs, he grabs the banister with one hand, turns around to face her again and says:  
"I'm finally letting go."

Suddenly the ground she's standing on disappears and she falls. Everything is dark around her and the falling gets slower and slower until she simply floats through the darkness. A voice is heard, she can't see or hear where it's coming from, it's just there, surrounding her.

"Citalopram, paroxetine, sertraline, what you got her on?"  
"No-nothing." A confused voice answers.  
"Using chemicals to increase the amount of serotonin in the brain is nothing to be ashamed of. Although the link between serotonin deficiency and symptoms of depression have been questioned, you're right. Maybe Benzodiazepines would be the way to go? But then there's the risk of dependency. Do you have addiction running in your family?"  
"It's not that kind of depression Paris, and besides I think she has already gotten better, despite the lack of chemicals."

Slowly she opens her eyes, realizing that she's no longer dreaming. The voices she recently heard while floating through the darkness belongs to her mother and Paris. They're standing right outside her door, talking.

* * *

_A/N: I never cared much for describing dreams, or reading descriptions about dreams, but somehow I wanted to write this chapter…_

_I'll be going away for the weekend (and some days at the start of next week) so there'll probably be some time before I can update again._

_My intention was to post the next chapter before leaving, but it's not finished yet… So, until I get back I'll leave you with a short preview of the next chapter (mainly because I'm terribly excited about it!)._

OoOoOoOoOo

It doesn't sound familiar to Rory. Or does it? She feels like there's something she should remember, but there are too many thoughts running through her mind at the moment. And that stubborn hope that's started to raise again is blocking out almost everything else, even breathing.  
"What about it?" She says staring at a smiling Paris.

"You see, he's clever. The spelling is what got me on the right track." Her smile is proud.

OoOoOoOoOo

_A/N: I'd love to hear your thoughts about the preview – which track do you think Paris is on? Is it a completely insane track, or do you think she's actually found something, and in that case, what could it be?_

_Sorry for leaving you like this…but I promise you on Wednesday at the latest I'll post the next chapter. Hope my little preview didn't spoil anything! (And if it did, please don't hate me, I've been planning for the next chapter since I started writing chapter 2, and I've been wanting soooo bad to drop hints about that chapter ever since, and now that I didn't have time to finish it and post it before leaving I couldn't restrain myself any longer…)_


	13. At least Paris has done her homework

_Thanks to all of you that has reviewed! It feels great hearing your opinions!_

* * *

After Rory got dressed and poured them some coffee while asking about Paris' nanny, the girls had placed themselves out on the porch steps, as Paris claimed that fresh air had a good effect on depression. Rory couldn't quite master the energy to argue with her and thought she should at least be thankful Paris wasn't trying to shove pills down her throat.

"So why'd you do it?" Paris bluntly asks. "Did he cheat on you again? Yes, I'm saying again, 'cause I never bought that whole 'we were broken up' bit of his. So what was it this time? Couldn't have been bridesmaids, 'cause if we're talking plural, which seems to be his M.O, I would have been involved and I can't remember ever being that drunk. Let me see…strippers at the bachelor party? Sounds like a typical Huntzberger move."

Rory sighs.  
"He didn't do anything." She hesitates, but then quickly decides to tell Paris the truth, after all it was Paris, sooner or later she would drag it out of her. "I got a letter the night before the wedding."  
"A letter? Was it from the Center for Disease Control?"  
"Paris!" She shots her a glare and Paris shrugs her shoulders.  
"Okay, sorry. Who was the letter from?"  
"Jess."  
"Jess?" Paris looks confused. "Jess. I've heard that name before…was he the guy who punched Tristan in high school?"  
"No, that was Dean. " She sighs. "Jess is the guy I kind of left Dean for. You've met him. We were studying here, he brought dinner, Dean got angry and you told Dean Jess came over because you had a crush on him. Remember?"  
"Yeah, I remember. So he sent you a letter?"  
"Yeah. He sent a letter and a copy of his latest book, he's a writer, and I kind of realized I still love him."

"Okay, let me see if I got this right; you receive a letter, and a book, from your long-lost high school boyfriend, realize you still love him and Huntzberger's history?"  
"Yeah, kind of." Rory grimaces, it sounded so harsh when put that way.  
"So where is he?"  
"Logan?" She shrugs her shoulders. "Probably out drinking with Colin and Finn."  
"No, not Logan, his brain isn't that big of a mystery, I could probably have figured out on my own he was drowning his sorrows somewhere with dumb and dumber cheering him on. Where's Jess?"  
"He's not here."  
Paris raises her eyebrows.  
"Sorry, but isn't the point of leaving your groom at the altar to be with another man, kind of you actually being with the other man?"  
"Yes. I guess it is. But he doesn't want to."

"He doesn't want to be with you? So why did he send you a letter and a book saying so?" Paris sounds confused.  
"The letter didn't really say he wanted to be with me, quite the opposite actually."  
"It rarely happens, but I have to admit I'm confused." Paris states, looking at her.

Rory hands her the letter.  
"Here, read it yourself."

Paris takes the letter and starts reading, Rory sits quietly next to her, watching her.  
"I can't read with you watching me like that." Paris puts the letter down and looks at Rory.  
"Like what?" Rory pulls back with a guilty look on her face.  
"Like you're expecting me to stand up and yell 'Eureka!' any second." Paris ponders for a second, looking suspiciously at Rory before going back to reading the letter. Rory bites her lip and tries to focus her eyes on a spot on the lawn before her instead of staring at Paris and the letter.

When finished reading Paris puts the letter down and looks up at Rory.  
"How do you know?"  
"How do I know what?" Rory looks confused.  
"How do you know that you love him? Don't get me wrong, I never cared much for Logan, but you haven't seen this guy since high school, right? People change you know, how can you be so sure you love him?"

Rory shrugs her shoulders.  
"I have seen him a few times since high school, but it's…I just know. I have asked myself that same question a million times these last couple of days. I guess that in some sort of subconscious, selfish way that I'm not proud of, I thought he'd always be there, that I'd always have the choice of being with him, now that that's taken away I guess I realized how much I wanted it, how much I needed it."

Paris nods.  
"Classic case of 'you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone'"  
"Yeah, I guess it is." Rory looks sad.

"So what're you gonna do about it?"  
"Nothing." Rory shakes her head. "He doesn't want me to come look for him. He has moved on."  
"So you're just gonna be a martyr for the rest of your life? Sit around and pine for him, alone and miserable for the next, what – 60 years, 'til you get senile enough to forget all about him?"  
"I-I don't know." She looks unsure. "I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Why don't you go to him, tell him how you feel?"  
"Because he said…"  
"I know what he said.." Paris interrupts. "…you've already told me that. Just never figured you were a quitter Gilmore."

"I'm not, but I can't force him to be with me if he doesn't want to." Rory answers in a hostile tone, growing tired of Paris insisting questions.  
"But the circumstances has changed, you're not getting married. He sent that letter to the future Mrs. Logan Huntzberger, and well, she doesn't exist anymore. What does the book tell you? 'Cause from what I snapped up from the letter the book is about the two of you, so what does it tell you?"

Rory sounds tired when she answers; tired and a little bit angry.  
"I don't know. I don't know what the book tells me. He says it's just memories, something for me to look back on at old age."  
"Where in his letter does he say it's just memories? 'Cause I sure didn't see that part." Paris asks and Rory's starting to feel like she's being interrogated.  
"It doesn't really say that – but it's obvious that's what he meant, that's what the book is to him."  
"Okay." Paris snorts. "But what is the book to you?"

Rory hesitates before answering.  
"Memories I guess…"  
"But…"  
"But what Paris?" Rory interrupts, now angry and irritated. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that the book reminded me of how Jess got me in a way that Logan, and probably every other guy out there as well, never did? Or that when reading the book I missed him and what we had so bad that I cried 'til I ran out of tears several hours later? Or that I realized exactly how badly I hurt him when I went to see him in Philadelphia two years ago? That's right, I never told you, but I went there and I let him kiss me and for a few seconds I let him think that maybe we had a future together, I let myself think that, and then I went back to Logan, 'cause I thought that was what I wanted. And when I came back Logan was hurt, he was in a hospital. You know why Paris? Do you know why Logan was in the hospital? 'Cause I didn't care, 'cause I was angry and hurt and because of that he was angry and hurt, and that made him careless and reckless and he ended up in the hospital because I couldn't forgive him. He almost died! While I was kissing my ex-boyfriend in Philadelphia, Logan almost died!"

Paris pats on the porch steps next to her, motioning to Rory to sit down, which she slowly does, still breathing heavily after her outburst.  
"First of all…" Paris begins, looking at Rory, making sure she's listening. "…you can't blame yourself 'cause Logan's stupid enough to go jump out of a plane with those imbecile friends of his in that childish, immature, 'I'm rich and privileged and bored and therefore I have to go search for adrenaline kicks to feel that I'm alive' brigade."  
She takes a breath and smiles as she continues.  
"Second of all, that's exactly what I wanted you to say. Not what Jess wrote, or what he told you the book was, but what it was to you – what you felt while reading it."

Rory sighs.  
"Don't you see that that doesn't matter? I want to go to him, I want to yell at him for moving on before I realized how much I love him and how badly I need to be with him, I want to beg him to change his mind, I want to…but I can't because he told me not to, and I've already hurt him so much." Her voice is resigned, and that's exactly how she feels; resigned, she has given up.  
Paris doesn't say anything, instead she leans in and gives Rory a hug.

When released from the hug, Rory sighs and bites her lip.  
"And believe me, if the 'I left my fiancé at the altar 'cause I'm in love with a guy who doesn't want to be with me' part isn't pathetic enough, I have also read that letter about a thousand times trying to find a hidden meaning, a secret message or whatever telling me to come. 'Cause apparently my pathetic heart can't quite seem to accept what he's writing."  
"A secret message." Paris looks intrigued.  
"Yeah, but there is none, believe me, I've looked at it enough times, I should have found it by now if there was one."

Paris picks up the letter and starts reading it a second time.  
"Paris, there isn't anything there." Rory sighs and shakes her head.  
Paris looks at her.  
"Rory, I know you're smart. I'm not saying I'm smarter than you; I'm simply saying that my judgment doesn't as easily get clouded by emotions as yours."

Rory sighs while Paris picks up the letter again and starts looking at it more closely. She hems and haws while doing so. Rory doesn't believe she'll actually find something, but she doesn't say anything. It could never hurt letting Paris have a look at it.

Not to let herself get to exited while Paris looks through the letter again Rory tries to find the same spot on the lawn that she was staring at the first time Paris read the letter.

"Hmm…maybe…with that spelling, it could very well be." Paris suddenly mumbles to herself.  
"Could be what Paris?" Rory says and darts her head up.  
"Ssch, let me finish my thought." Paris answers and waves her hand as to keep Rory quiet.

Growing more and more impatient and nervous Rory looks at her while she keeps mumbling to herself and reading the letter. After a while Paris smiles and looks up at her.  
"At first I thought I recognized the 'when you're old and grey' part, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it." Rory takes the letter out of Paris' hand and looks at the part she's talking about.

_I wanted to send you a copy of my latest book, so you would get a chance to read it before it came out in any bookstores. You're a smart girl so there's no use in denying what you'll probably figure out after just a few pages: it's about us. You and me. Our love. Something for you to read and look back on when you're old and grey._

It doesn't sound familiar to Rory. Or does it? She feels like there's something she should remember, but there are too many thoughts running through her mind at the moment. And that stubborn hope that's started to raise again is blocking out almost everything else, even breathing.  
"What about it?" She says, staring at a smiling Paris.

"You see, he's clever. The spelling is what got me on the right track." She proudly smiles. "'Grey', with an e. That's not your typical American spelling. You know who spells gray with an e? The Englishmen and the Irish among others."

Rory wrinkles her forehead in confusion.  
"Okay…what does that have to do with anything?"  
"It's Yeats." Paris says, as if that explains everything.  
"Yeats?" Rory questions, still looking confused.  
"Yeats. The poet – you've heard of him I assume? 'Something for you to read and look back on when you're old and grey' It's not an exact quote, but it's a pretty obvious allusion once you figure it out."  
Rory takes the letter back from Paris and looks at it again.

"When you are old and grey and full of sleep, and nodding by the fire, take down this book and slowly read" While Rory's been staring at the sentence, trying to figure out the meaning of it, scavenging her brain to remember the words of any Yeats poem she's ever read, Paris has found the poem on a website on her phone and is now reading the first lines aloud to Rory.

Rory leans over to watch over Paris' shoulder almost trembling with anxiety as she reads the lines of the poem, pondering on every word.

_When you are old and grey and full of sleep,  
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,  
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look  
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;_

_How many loved your moments of glad grace,  
And loved your beauty with love false or true,  
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,  
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;_

_And bending down besides the glowing bars,  
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled  
And paced upon the mountains overhead  
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars._

When Rory finishes reading the poem for the second time she looks at Paris and smiles. Paris looks back at her with an all-knowing smile and says:  
"He wants you to come."

Rory lets out a deep sigh, as if everything that's been piling up inside her the last week has finally let go. She smiles wide.  
"He wants me to come." A flash of uncertainty rolls over her face. "That's what the poem says, right? That he wants me to come?" She blurts out, suddenly afraid that she has misread Jess' intentions about alluding to the poem.

As if repeating the words out of a text book Paris reassures her of Jess' intention.  
"Well, a common interpretation of this poem is that the narrator wants the object of his affection to act upon the true love he feels for her, or rather he fears that she will not, hence the future the poem alludes to will be her future."  
"So I'm guessing that when Jess writes that his book will be something for you to look back on when you're old and grey, what he's really saying is: I love you deeper and truer than your husband-to-be, please acknowledge that and act upon it before it's too late."

* * *

_So, what do you think? Did Jess intentionally leave an allusion to a Yeats poem, or are the girls just too eager to find something that they made it up in their heads?_

_I don't know if there's actually such a thing as the Institute for infectious disease control, but that's what the dictionary gave me when I searched for the equivalent of the Swedish word. So if there's not, let's pretend…_


	14. The mysteries of romance

_Thanks for reviewing, I haven't responded to all of you personally yet, but I will! I appreciate you reviews a lot - they make me crazy happy, so please, keep em' coming and in return I'll try and update as quickly as possible!_

* * *

After Paris left Rory went to her room, sat down at her computer and started searching for different interpretations of the Yeats' poem Jess had alluded to. Almost all search results seemed to agree with Paris' interpretation. She smiles to herself. He wanted her to come.

A flash of uncertainty comes over her. He did, didn't he? She looks around her room, somewhere she must have a book about interpreting poems, or about Yeats.

She sighs. All of her books and stuff are still at the apartment she's shared with Logan. But she needs to make sure that she, or rather Paris, hasn't misinterpreted Jess' intentions; she needs to go to the library. She needs to read more about Yeats, about analyzing poems, about analyzing this specific Yeats' poem. Her entire future happiness depends on Paris' interpretation of the poem and although she doesn't doubt Paris' knowledge about the subject she needs to see it for herself. She needs the comfort of a book, of printed words in a book telling her what she already knows.

She takes a quick look in the mirror before leaving her room, heading for the hallway. She grabs a coat and before leaving she pops her head in the living room where her mother and Luke are sitting.  
"I'm just going to the library. I need to…do some reading." The smile that has been plastered on her face ever since Paris made the discovery, the wonderful, joyful discovery about the poem, gives her a set of very confused looks from her mother and Luke.

"Hold it!" Her mother gets up from her seat in the couch and walks up to her. "You've been in a deep depression for the last week. Hardly speaking, hardly eating, hardly moving, hardly _breathing_. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're happy, but you have to understand I'm a bit confused here and would like to know what originated this sudden change of mood. Yesterday morning you wouldn't even leave your room, and now your eyes are sparkling and your mouth can't seem to stop smiling." She hesitates and takes a deep look at Rory. "Did Paris bring happy pills?"  
"Happy pills is one way of putting it."  
"And what would be the other way of putting it?"  
"Love."

Lorelai looks confused.  
"You're in love with Paris?"  
Rory giggles.  
"No, silly. With Jess. I'm in love with Jess and he wants me to come."

"I thought the letter…you said he…" Lorelai stops herself. "Care to explain?" She asks instead.  
"Well, you see, I told Paris that I'd been trying to find hidden meanings in Jess' letter, because it felt so wrong, I couldn't accept that he moved on. And then Paris, whose judgment wasn't clouded by emotions, saw that he spelled gray with an 'e', just like Yeats does. And Yeats has written this poem called 'When you are old', and the common interpretation is that the narrator wants the woman in the poem to act upon the true love he feels for her before it's too late – and Jess made an allusion to that poem in his letter, meaning he wants me to come, because he still loves me!" Rory takes a deep breath. "You see? He wants me to act upon his love."

"Wow, honey, that's…that's amazing." Lorelai says.  
Rory nods energetic.  
"Yeah, it is…it's so amazing – his book it's like the Yeats poem."  
Lorelai looks confused again.  
"Okay, please let your mother, who is not a Yale-graduate, in on this intellectual love gesture here."  
"The poem, Yeats' poem, he writes about how this woman he loves will look back on the one man who loved her deep and true but she never acted on it and therefore she is all alone at her old age."  
"Chipper guy that Yeats." Lorelai smirks.  
"And in Jess' book he describes himself as this old man who looks back on the one girl he ever loved, and it's not mentioned in the book, but I think what he means is that if I don't act on his love for me, he will be this old man who is all alone at his old age, and I will be the old woman in the poem."

"So that means…he wrote the book to get you back? To make you realize you both have this horrible lonesome future ahead of you if you aren't together, if you don't act upon his love?"  
Rory nods, and holds the book up in front of her.  
"He wrote this book – to me. To make me realize what I should've already known."

"May I?" Luke holds his hand out towards the book. "I'm not gonna read it or anything, I just…want to see it."  
She smiles and hands him the book.

Lorelai's still looking at Rory.  
"He wrote _that_ book to get you back." She points at the book in Luke's hand, looking like she can't quite grasp the situation, staring at Rory with her mouth open. "He sat down, put pen to paper and wrote _that_ book. To get you back." She shakes her head in astonishment.

Luke examines the book in his hand, a proud smile lingers on his lips.  
"He probably used a computer." Rory corrected her mother. "But otherwise, yeah he did."  
"I…well, he…you" Lorelai shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know what to say."  
Rory smiles  
"That says a lot."  
Lorelai steps closer and wraps her arms around Rory and hugs her.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

After spending the entire day at the library Rory has finally grasped that Paris' interpretation most probably was the right interpretation and that Jess wants her to come. She takes a look around her room. What should she bring with her to Philadelphia? How long is she staying for?

Searching through her wardrobe she settles for two changes of clothes, a toothbrush and some make-up. Philadelphia isn't really that far away and she doesn't want to shock Jess by bringing too much baggage. Anyways, if she needs more clothes or other stuff they probably had stores in Philadelphia.

She takes a glance at her watch, 10 PM. 8 hours 'til take off. Her mother and Luke had convinced her that since she insisted on not calling Jess before going there she should wait until the morning before going; that way saving her from having to sleep in the car if Jess wouldn't be at home when she got there. Also, if she got there during day, he would most probably be at work, which made it easier for her to find him.

She picks up Jess' book from the nightstand and holds in her hands, pondering. After a few seconds she nods to herself and with the book in her hands she heads for the living room. When reaching the kitchen she hears her mother and Luke talking in the living room, she stops and eavesdrops for a moment, sensing that they're talking about her and Jess.

"So he wants to be with her. Why didn't he just say so?" Luke's voice sounds confused.  
"Ah, it's the mysteries of romance." Her mother answers in an explanatory voice.  
"Some mystery, making the girl you want to be with fall into an apathetic state for almost a week." He mutters in response.  
"We'll have plenty of time to bash at him for that later." Rory can almost hear the smile in her mother's voice. "But did you see how happy she was?"

She takes a deep breath and clears her throat, announcing her arrival, as she starts walking into the living room.

"Hey hon." Lorelai looks up.  
"Hey. I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep." She smiles. "I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow."  
They both smile at her.  
"Of course honey, we'll have breakfast together before you leave tomorrow. There'll probably be a lot of crazy romance stuff going on at lunch-time tomorrow, so who knows when you'll get a chance to eat, better get yourself a steady breakfast." Lorelai says and smiles at her.

Rory blushes and decides to quickly change the subject. She holds Jess' book out towards her mother.  
"I want you to read it."  
"You sure?" Lorelai hesitates and looks at the book.  
"Yeah, I am. I want you to read it and maybe you'll see at least a hint of what I see in him."  
"Rory, I…"  
"I know, I remember your speech yesterday." Rory interrupts her. "But still, there are so many sides of Jess that you never saw. I want you to read his book."  
Lorelai nods and takes the book with a serious look on her face.  
"I will."

"Good." Rory nods. "So…goodnight then."  
"Goodnight honey." Her mother says while standing up and hugging her.  
"Goodnight Rory." Luke says and nods at her from the couch.

* * *

_I know you were all probably hoping that Rory would leave for Philadelphi and Jess right away, but I figured she should tell Luke and Lorelai about what Paris found in the letter first, and as SarcasticBitchCurls pointed out - Lorelai should get a chance to read Jess' book (you'll read about her reactions to the book in a future chapter)_


	15. The evil queen and the fairy godmother

_First of all: Thanks for the reviews! You're great!_

_This chapter is written from Lorelai's point of view, as she starts reading Jess' book. _

_I had some struggles while writing this chapter ( 'cause I keep writing on future chapters all the time…) and it is rather short, but hope you'll enjoy it!_

* * *

Later the same night Lorelai crawls up in bed next to Luke with Jess' book in her hands. Staring at the front cover of the book as if she was afraid to open it she bites her lower lip.  
"Luke." She whispers, nudging him softly. Half asleep he mutters something incomprehensible in response.  
"Luke." She says again, a bit louder this time.  
"Mmm." He answers turning his body towards her, his eyes still closed.  
"Luke." She says again, nudging him a bit harder. "I'm scared."

His eyes shots open, looking at her as if he's prepared to protect her from any kind of danger.  
"What?" He says with a worried look on his face. He sees the book in her hands and calms down. "It's not a thriller." He says and stretches his arm out hugging her hip as she sits next to him.  
"You sure?" She says, stroking his arm. "'Cause I'm scared that there's a mean old witch in this fairytale, or an evil queen, summoning all of her villagers to drive the rebellious, but yet noble, prince out of town, deeming both him and his princess to live unhappily ever after."

Luke sighs and sits up next to her.  
"First of all, no matter how hard it is, I think you should read the book, 'cause Rory was right, there are sides of Jess that you never saw, partly because you didn't want to see them and partly because he didn't want to show them to you." He leans over and kisses her cheek and cups her face in his hand as he continues. "Second of all, it's my conviction that the prince left because he wanted to meet with his father, the hot-dog king, and make sure he would never inherit his crown, the evil queen and her villagers was of less importance in that decision."

She looks at him with distrust, still not fully believing that it is not her fault that Jess had left.  
"Look." He says, fixating her eyes with his. "Read the book. If there really is an evil queen in there, we'll deal with her together."  
"Easy for you to say, I bet you're described as the fairy godmother." She says and pouts.  
Luke sighs.  
"Just read it, and keep the freak out on hold until there's actually something for you to freak out about."  
She nods and he kisses her before lying back down in the bed.

Taking a deep breath she opens the book and starts reading. After reading only a few pages she puts the book down again and draws her breath. He wrote her a book. A real book. Rory loves books and reading and he wrote her a book – for her to read. A book not only _to_ her, but also _about_ her. She takes another deep breath. A book is not something you write in an afternoon, it's not like a love letter that you could just scrabble down because something happened that made you miss that certain person for a moment. A book takes months to write, or maybe years, she's not sure. Judging by the thickness of this book, years sound most accurate. She picks the book up again and continues reading.

OoOoOoOoOo

_"My father left the second I was born and my mother fell head over heels in love with a new man every other month. A man that would, of course, end up leaving her heart-broken until the next Prince Charming came along." The old man sighed deeply. "She really thought that every man that came along was the one, the great love, and let me tell you, when you've seen enough great loves disappear without a trace, taking your TV, or your grandmother's jewelries with them, you kind of start losing faith in love." The old man said with a sad smile. "I had never seen true love, other than in books or movies, I didn't think it existed in real life, until I met this girl."_

With the tears burning behind her eyes Lorelai takes a deep breath and pauses her reading. He didn't think love even existed until he met Rory. He didn't think it existed. He had never dreamed of finding that one person, of being overwhelmed with love, because he didn't think it existed – until he met Rory.

Maybe she had judged him too hard. God knows, it couldn't have been easy growing up with Liz. Even though Lorelai liked Luke's sister, she wasn't the most stable person in the world. And the thought of having grown up with a steady line of TJ's passing through your life, that couldn't have been easy. He was a nice man, but just a tad bit weird, and not someone you could ever imagine raising a teenager – and to think that TJ actually was the better of all the men that had passed through in Liz' life, it makes her shiver.

OoOoOoOoOo

After reading about the first time she and Jess met, Lorelai puts the book down with a sigh of relief. He hadn't described her as the evil queen…yet. He had actually described the situation with an unexpected objectivity. He even soothed that feeling of guilt that not even talking to Rory had managed to ease.

_"I can't blame her."_, he had written. The adult Jess, the Jess that had written the book, had looked back on himself as a teenager and stated that he couldn't blame the girl's mother for not liking him. The relief she feels is enormous.

He had changed, he was no longer that sulky teenage boy who believed the world was out to get him. He had grown, he had matured into a man that was capable of looking back at his mistakes and learn from them.

She had changed too. She as well could look back at her mistakes and learn from them. In their first meeting, he wasn't the only with the wrong attitude. The rift between her and Jess had been as much her fault as it had been his. Maybe it was even more of her fault, after all, she had been the adult and she should have known better. He had been a teenager going through a though time.

She sighs. The meeting with Jess had damaged her self image. When Rory was a kid, she had always been the fun mom. The mom who threw amazing birthday parties, the mom who always had time to come up with funny games and plays, the mom who all of Rory's friends adored and loved.

When Rory became a teenager she was the cool mom. The mom who still remembered what it was like to be a teenager, the mom you could always talk to, the mom who felt more like a friend than an adult.

And then came this tormented teenage boy, a boy who, no doubt was going through a though time in his life and she tried to be the cool mom but he looked at her like he would any other adult; with distrust and hostility. It had hurt her more than she was willing to admit at the time.

* * *

_There will be a short bit with Lorelai reading, or at least talking about the book, in the next chapter, and I have planned for one more chapter with Lorelai's thoughts and feelings when finished reading the book. If you have any suggestions or thoughts – please share them with me, I'm having severe issues coming up with thoughts for Lorelai as she reads the book..._

_Any specific moment in the history of Jess and Rory you think she should get an insight to? A side of Jess that you feel she should see? Any thoughts or suggestions are more than welcome, 'cause I would really like to make another chapter with her reading, 'cause I know there should be more things going on in her mind while she reads, but I just can't seem to come up with any..._


	16. A bottle of tequila, just in case

_Thanks for all of your helpful suggestions, got me really excited about writing about Lorelai reading the book. I'm gonna try to use as many of your suggestions as possible, but I think I have to go back and watch a few episodes before writing so I don't get anything wrong._

* * *

The following morning, after seeing Rory off, Lorelai crawls up in the couch taking the book with her. She hadn't mentioned anything about the book to Rory, she wanted to read more before saying anything. Rory hadn't asked either, she had been too preoccupied with going over everything that could possibly go wrong with this trip and the talk to Jess.

"I'm leaving now, I have to make sure Cesar didn't burn the place down during the breakfast rush." Luke says as he passes by her and kisses her cheek on his way to the door.

"You never told me." Lorelai says and looks up at him, making him stop in the doorway. "You must have known, 'cause you talk to Jess occasionally. But you never told me. You just let me think he was still this little punk who broke my only daughter's heart."

"Never told you what?" Luke looks confused as he steps back into the living room.  
"That he has changed. That he has grown up. That he's…different."  
"Well." He looks even more confused. "I didn't think you cared."  
"Hmph." She looks affronted.  
"Oh, come on." He sighs. "You can't possibly be mad at me for not bringing up Jess in a conversation."

"But I didn't know." She whines and wrinkles her forehead. "Now go, I have to keep reading."  
"Don't you have work as well? An Inn to run for example?"  
"I called Sookie, told her I'm coming in a bit late today. I have some reading to do."

Luke smiles.  
"So there was no evil queen?"  
"No…not yet at least. Only a mother who loves her daughter and wants to protect her." She bites her lip. "I could never have imagined him describing me like that…so…understanding of where I was coming from. Looking back, _I_ can hardly understand where I was coming from, still he doesn't blame me; he seems to understand me."

"Good." Luke nods, unsure of what to say. "I'm glad."  
"You know it's okay for you to be proud of him, right?" Lorelai says, looking him in the eyes.  
Luke mumbles something and Lorelai continues.  
"I mean, he did make her cancel her wedding when he sent her that letter and the book, and we were all extremely worried about her, but this thing he did here; it's amazing, and it's okay for you to be proud of him. You should be. You don't have to be, but if you are, you don't have to hide it from me."  
Luke smiles.  
"I am. I am proud of him."  
"Good. You should be."  
"I should…" Luke says with a vague gesture towards the door and Lorelai nods in response.

"Luke…" She says before he reaches the door and he turns around and looks at her. "Do you think…I mean, if all goes well…for Rory today…if she and Jess end up together…do you think he and I…do you think we could ever…get along?"  
Luke smiles.  
"You and Jess are more alike than you think. You probably won't go shoe-shopping together, but I think you could get along just fine. Better than fine actually, if only both of you give it an honest try."

OoOoOo – Rory's point of view – OoOoOo

That's where she'd stopped on her way home that night. That's when her tears had clogged up her eyes so bad she couldn't see the road anymore. Would she be leaving Philadelphia crying this time as well? Was there really an allusion to Yeats or did she just see one because she so desperately needed to find a way around his rejecting words?

No, Paris had seen it first. Paris didn't desperately need to see it, and still she saw it. But then again; Paris was Paris. Paris overanalyzed things. Paris could easily get carried away.

But it didn't matter anymore – she was going. She was going to Philadelphia, she was going to tell him she called of the wedding. A thought crosses her mind: he must already know that the wedding was off. He must've have known it after Luke's phone call. Why hadn't he come then? Why hadn't he called her and told her he wanted to be with her?

The poem. Of course. He wants _his lover_ to act upon the love he feels for her. Maybe he was sick of being the one that had to put himself out there, this time maybe he wanted _her_ to come to him. And she was, she was on her way to him- to put herself out there, to act upon his love.

OoOoOoOoOo

She stops for a short moment on the street outside Truncheon and takes a deep breath. This is it. No matter whether he wanted her to come or not, she is here, and she's going to tell him how she feels. She's going to tell him that she loves him and that she wants to be with him.

She takes another deep breath to calm her nerves. A few more steps and then she'll know. She wonders if he has changed or if he looks the same as he did last time she came to see him. She wonders what his kisses felt like, if they still felt the same. She wonders if he will kiss her again today, or if he will ask her to leave.

_"If you don't go, you'll never know and you'll spend your life wondering what could've been."_ With her mother's last words before she left ringing in her ears she starts walking towards the door with determined steps.

She opens the door, steps inside and looks around the place – no sight of Jess so far. There are two guys standing at the counter. She recognizes them as Jess' friends from the opening night. With a short nod in their direction she walks up to one of the shelves near the door and pretends to be looking at it while casting glances around her, trying to find Jess.

Where was he? This was his place of work. He should be here. Unless he was on a lunch break. She takes a quick look at her watch; he could be on a lunch break. Unless he quit. Maybe he quit and moved elsewhere. Why hadn't that thought crossed her mind? Maybe he moved so that she couldn't find him. She starts panicking and decides to leave. She has to leave and calm her nerves.

What was she thinking coming here? She couldn't do this. He had told her not to come and she came rushing because Paris thought she saw an allusion to Yeats in his letter. Jess didn't even like poetry. Jess preferred books over poetry. Or at least the old Jess did. Maybe he'd changed. Maybe he had started liking poetry. Maybe he had started liking poetry and stopped loving her.

She turns around to head for the door when she crashes into someone.  
"May I help you?" It's one of the guys that was standing at the counter when she walked in.  
"No, thanks. I'm only…" She hesitates, "…looking around."  
"Anything special you're interested in?"

Something special? Yeah, something very special. The most special there are. But she couldn't tell him that. Or could she?  
"Well, actually…" She hesitates again, afraid to get the answer that Jess is not here anymore, afraid that there was no hidden meaning, no allusion to Yeats telling her to come. She decides to ignore her fear, she has nothing to lose, she might as well just throw herself out there. "Is Jess around?"  
"Jess? Yeah, he's here." The guy answers, looking very uninterested in helping her.

She looks around and still there's no sight of Jess, she looks at the guy in front of her again, waiting for him to continue. The guy on the other hand doesn't act like he has any intention to further extend his statement, he simply looks at her with an ice-cold gaze. She swallows deeply and asks with an excusing tone in her voice.  
"Where?"  
The guy sighs and nods his head towards a stair next to the counter.  
"Up there."  
She can still feel his gaze piercing her back as she walks towards the stairs and she feels her legs quiver as she starts climbing the steps.

She hears the guy walking up to the counter and start talking to his friend. Since they seem to be talking about her, she slows her steps down and listens.

"Was that…" An unfamiliar voice asks.  
"Yes, it was." The guy she had been talking to answers.  
"What did _she_ want?" His emphasis on the word 'she' reveals that whatever he's feeling towards her it's not a warm and friendly feeling.  
"To see Jess."  
"So the crushing she did last time wasn't enough? She's back for more?" She closes her eyes and leans against the wall. They know what happened last time, they know she broke his heart.

"Looks like it." The guy she had been talking to answers.  
"Bitch."  
"I agree."  
"Should we stop her?"  
"Nah, I think he can handle it this time."  
"Should I go pick up a bottle of tequila, just in case?" The unfamiliar voice, which must logically belong to the other guy she'd seen standing behind the counter, asks.  
"Might as well do. Just in case."

She hears them moving around downstairs and walks up the last few steps and faces a closed door.

With a deep sigh she looks at the door. The roles had been reversed. Many years ago when Jess came to Stars Hollow, her mother and the entire town had looked at him as if he was not good enough, as if he was a bad guy. Now his friends didn't think she was good enough for him, as if she was the bad guy that would break his heart and leave without looking back.

She takes a deep breath, stretches her hand out and knocks on the door.


	17. Pathetic!

_Please, please, please don't hate me after reading this chapter… _

_You can't tell me you aren't the least bit curious as to why Matt and Chris seemed to dislike Rory so much, and what Jess has been up to – what made him start to write the book?_

_I promise there'll only be a few chapters before we go back to present time and Rory's waiting outside the closed door. _

_I wasn't sure about the time here, but one year most probably passed between Logan's graduation (which happened a few episodes after Rory went to see Jess) and Rory's graduation. So I added some time for things like planning a wedding and writing a book, and I think I mentioned somewhere that it's summer, so that made it two years all in all. _

**Almost 2 years earlier**

She left. He can't believe it. This was not what was supposed to happen. She was not supposed to leave. Jess watches the door that had closed behind her. He can't believe she's really gone. She's gone and she's never coming back. She left to be with Logan. "_I love him_" she'd said. He'd always feared this day would come. He'd always feared it, but to be honest, he never really thought it would come.

He and Rory; they had a bond. They had something special. They had love. Why couldn't she see that? He sinks down on the stool he'd sat at before. Before, minutes ago, when Rory was sitting next to him.

"_If you want to you can tell him we did something_". Pathetic! He is pathetic! Did he really think he could mess with this guy's head the same way he messed with Dean's? Wasn't that why he had said it? He doesn't know, maybe he had just wanted to give her something, to comfort her; she had looked like she needed to be comforted.

He rests his elbows on his knees and sinks his head into his hands and starts sobbing. It's too late. It's all too late. She loves her boyfriend. She loves her rich, snobby, Porsche-driving boyfriend. No, she loves her rich, snobby, Porsche-driving, _cheating _boyfriend.

She must be hurting so much right now. She loves that guy and he cheated on her! He stands up and clenches his fists, tears streaming down his face. Never in his life has he wanted to punch someone as badly as he does now. How could he do that to her?

How could he not see what he had? He had the most wonderful girl in the world and he cheated on her. He cheated on her and still she didn't want to leave him. They had kissed but she had pulled back, she couldn't cheat on that guy. The guy that cheated on her.

They had kissed. He had felt her soft lips on his for a few seconds before she pulled back. For a few seconds he had been happy. He had been so happy he thought his heart would burst. He had thought that this was finally the right time for them to be together.

He reaches his hand out towards a shelf and grabs a handful of books and throws them on the floor. It was all useless! Everything he had become, everything he had made for himself – it was useless! She still didn't want to be with him.

He swipes his arm across the shelf next to him, causing even more books to crash towards the floor. He kicks the books around with his foot. Books. Of course he had to share that with her. The one thing he used to escape when real life became too much to handle – of course that one thing had to be so closely connected to her.

Every time he scrabbled some words down in the margin of a book he had thought of what she would say about it. He had imagined what she would be saying years ahead when they were happily married and his books was also her books. When she would come home one day after a hard day at work, pull out a book from the bookshelf, start reading and see the thoughts and remarks he had scrabbled down years ago, during that horrible time they were apart.

Now that wouldn't happen. That future belonged to someone else, someone who didn't deserve it.

He bends down and picks up her copy of his book that had fell on floor when they kissed. He raises his arm to throw it away, but something's stopping him. This is her book. This is the book she's been holding and reading. He presses the book close to his chest, closes his eyes and tries to imagine the expressions that had flittered across her face as she read the words he wrote. All of the frustration and anger he felt earlier leaves his body while he stands there. Sobbing, lost in his thoughts.

Why was it that she couldn't see they belonged together? Hadn't she felt it too, hadn't she felt how the world seemed to have to changed into this wonderful place only because they were in the same room? Hadn't she felt the love, the hope and the anticipation hanging in the air?

What was really the point of living? What was the point of having a life if he couldn't share it with her? For the first time in his life he can understand Liz' desperate search for the great love, for that one person that makes it all worthwhile. Rory was his great love, she was the one person that made it all worthwhile, and she had left.


	18. Losing love, making friends

_I was a bit unsure about how to write this chapter, at first I thought about splitting it in half, with the first half picturing Lorelai reading the book and the second one this chapter I just posted, but the chapter about Lorelai reading isn't quite done yet (and it requires some re-watching of some episodes that I really don't have the time to fit in right now) and this is, so I decided to post it._

_Matt and Chris weren't given that much time on the show so I took the liberty of making up their personalities myself. Please let me know what you think of them!  
_

_Last but not least: Thanks for your wonderful reviews, I love them!_

* * *

When he hears the sound of voices outside the apartment Jess lifts his head from the table, almost knocking over the half-empty bottle of tequila. For a short second his heart takes a jump in his chest. Rory was coming back. It wasn't too late. She still loved him. She _did_ see that they belonged together.

"She might have _looked_ at you, but she gave her number to _me_." The male voice in the hallway reminds Jess about his roommates. It wasn't Rory coming back, it was his roommates coming home. He sighs and pours himself another glass of tequila.

"I don't see it." It's Chris' voice. "With me standing right next to you, why on earth would she give her number to you?"  
"Guess all those hours spent at the gym finally paid off." It's Matt's chuckling voice.  
"Please, you only go to the gym to check out girls while pretending to jog on the treadmill."  
He hears Matt snorting.

"Hey Jess!" Matt shouts out as their voices move closer to the kitchen. "You know that blonde chick, working at the bar, well Chris claims she's…" His words die out as he walks into the kitchen and sees Jess sitting at the table with the glass in his hand.  
"Are you all right?" He says, slowly walking closer with a worried look on his face.

"Me? Yeah, I'm just peachy." Jess looks up at him with a face that clearly contradicts his words and makes a face as he takes a gulp out of the glass.  
Matt wrinkles his forehead and sits down on a chair next to him.  
"Yeah, 'cause that's how I always imagined peachy to look like." He says and looks at Jess with confusion written all over his face.

"Just leave it alone and tomorrow I'll go back to being my perky self again."  
Matt snorted again.  
"Well, I wouldn't say perky is you main character trait and also, the hangover that tends to follow closely in the steps of tequila doesn't usually allow that much perkiness to take place."  
"Whatever." Jess says, shrugging his shoulders. "I'll be fine."

"Hey! You're having a party without me?" Chris says as he walks in and grabs a beer out of the fridge. He takes a long look at Jess and then turns to give Matt a questioning look. Matt shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head in response.

In their trio Jess had always been the odd one out. Matt and Chris had found each other immediately. There was no denying they were all close, but Jess had always preferred keeping his distance, keeping his private life private. It wasn't that he didn't trust them or that he didn't like them; he simply didn't know how to open up and let people in. Matt and Chris, especially Matt, didn't seem to have that problem at all.

For several minutes the kitchen is filled with an awkward silence, until Matt clears his throat.  
"So…what is this about?"  
Jess looks up from the table.  
"What's what about?"  
"This." Matt motions his hand towards Jess and the tequila. "You. Drinking alone. Where's the girl we left you with? And what's with the mess downstairs?"

Jess shrugs his shoulders, a pain shooting through his heart at the mentioning of Rory.  
"I'll take care of the mess tomorrow."  
Matt shakes his head.  
"I'm not worried about the mess, I'm more worried about what caused the mess."  
Jess refills his glass again and sighs. Why can't they just leave him alone, to drink his pain away? A few more drinks and he's sure it will go away. It has to.  
"I caused the mess and I'll clean the mess up tomorrow."

"I'll think about that tomorrow." Chris says with a girly voice as he slams two more glasses down on the table and starts filling them with tequila as well. "Come on now Miss O'Hara, tell us what's wrong." His voice has changed back to normal and he passes one of the glasses to Matt before sitting down on a chair at the other side of Jess. "Let's start with the girl. Ex-girlfriend?"

Jess shots him a glare and Chris stares back at him, eyebrows raised. Ex-girlfriend, yeah, that could be one way of describing her. Someone else's girlfriend would be another way. The girl he's madly, insanely in love with would be yet another. Jess sighs and nods.  
"Okay. Good. We're getting somewhere." Chris nods and takes a sip of his beer. "First love?"  
"What is this? Twenty questions?" Jess looks irritated.  
"Wouldn't be such a bad idea." Matt chimes in, nodding. "I've known you for what, little over a year? Still, I don't _know_ you. If it weren't for the fact that we share an apartment I doubt I would even know your last name. So what's the story? You work for the FBI? CIA?"

Jess rolls his eyes, but he can't help thinking about how good it would feel to talk to someone about everything, about what happened tonight. Someone who didn't know Rory, someone who wouldn't automatically assume that he had been the one hurting her and side with her in this matter. He looks at both his roommates and sighs.

"First love and last." He gets up and grabs two beers out of the fridge and hands one of them to Matt. "Eighteen questions to go." He says and attempts a smile as he sits down again.  
"First love _and_ last?" Matt says. "You can't know that. So, she broke your heart and you feel like you'll never love anyone ever again, that'll pass. We've all been there. I know I have. Several times actually."

Chris smirks.  
"But you fall in love each time a pretty girl looks at you, hell, with enough beers in you – she doesn't even have to be that pretty." He smiles and Matt laughs back at him. With a serious look on his face he continues. "I don't think Jess is like that. I believe it." He turns to Jess. "I believe that if you really love this girl it's forever."

Forever. That's a long time. He wonders if Rory will love Logan forever; if Logan will love Rory forever. How can you claim to love someone when you've cheated on them? That's not love. Rory deserves love, she deserves forever-lasting love.

"How can you say that?" Matt argues. "You don't even know who she is, how they met, how long they were together, if they even dated at all, or why they're not together now, or…" Chris holds his hand up as to shut him up.  
"Honestly Matt, think back, have you ever seen Jess smile when talking to a girl?"  
"But that's not… I mean, that's his M.O, that's how he gets the girls. He's the moody, bitter writer that they're just dying to cheer up."  
"Really? Was I the only one who noticed how his face lit up when this particular girl walked through the door? The smile that was plastered on his face the whole time she was there?"

He had been happy when she walked through the door. Butterflies that he thought didn't existed had been going crazy in his stomach all night. Chris was probably right, his face had probably lit up when he saw her.

And the fact that he didn't smile at other girls wasn't part of some plan to get them into his bed. He simply wasn't interested enough to engage in smiling, the fact that they seemed to see that as a challenge was merely a coincidence. A coincidence he had at times taken advantage of he had to admit. But still, merely a coincidence.

Matt doesn't answer right away, instead he takes a sip of his beer and pouts for a while before answering.  
"That doesn't have to mean anything. He had a lot of reasons for being happy tonight. The business is going great, his uncle came to visit…"  
"I'm still here you know." Jess interrupted with a tired voice.

"Tell us about the girl." Matt asked.  
"There's nothing to tell." Jess answered and shrugged his shoulders and was rewarded with two sets of disbelieving looks. That was a bad lie, but he hasn't yet decided whether he wants to pour his heart out to them or not. It would probably feel good to talk about it, about her, but the thought about it makes him feel uncomfortable. He's never been any good with talking about emotions, and they're guys – guys don't do that. He's not sure why it is so, seeing as he really never had any close friends, male or other, but he knows that's how it is.

"Ok." Chris says and empties his glass of tequila in one big gulp, making a disgusted face. "I'll go first. Her name is Jennifer and I met her freshman year in college. I have never, neither before nor after, loved anyone like that. After graduating she got offered a job in California, I didn't want her to go, she did anyway, and I was stubborn and stupid and told her she had to chose between me and the job, 'cause I could never see myself living in California. She chose the job and not a day goes by that I don't regret giving her that ultimatum."

Chris chuckles and continues.  
"I actually sent her an invitation to our open house as well. But she didn't show."  
Jess looks up at him and smiles, after Chris' confession it doesn't feel quite as difficult to talk about her, the thought doesn't make him as uncomfortable as it did before.  
"Well, at least she didn't show to tell you she's in love with someone else." He says and smirks.  
"No, but I think the engagement notice in the local newspaper two weeks ago made the need to tell me in person rather redundant." Chris says and leans back in his chair.

"Come on guys!" Matt says, refilling everyone's glasses. "There's plenty of girls out there, why dwell on the girls that broke your hearts? Huh? Move on, find a new girl. Love's overrated."  
Chris looks at him with a pondering look on his face before he speaks.  
"New girls every weekend. The tad bit exaggerated 'I don't care' attitude. Love's overrated. Come on, we're pouring our hearts out here, what's her name?"

Matt stares at him like a deer caught in the headlights.  
"I thought Jess' girl was the subject at hand here." He quickly says, trying to shift focus from himself.  
"Heart-break is the subject at hand here." Chris corrects him. "But maybe Mr. Happy-go-lucky never had his heart broken?" He continues, his tone clearly sarcastic.  
"I'll tell if Jess tells first."  
"What are we? Little girls? I'll tell if you tell." The last words are said with Chris' imitation of a little girl.

"Well, we _are_ having a heart-to-heart conversation I would imagine fitting in at a girly high school slumber party." Matt replies. "Only the ice-cream and the toe-nail painting missing to make this picture-perfect."  
"We got tequila and beer instead, and somehow, to me it always seemed like those girls in high school had love all figured out, maybe we're on to something." Chris smirks.  
"As long as we're not having a pillow fight in our under wears I actually kind of don't think this is the worst idea ever." Jess says with a half-hearted smile.

Jess had never had any real friends in his life. The only one he had ever talked to about real stuff was _her_. But he could never talk to her about the things that really bothered him. He couldn't talk to her about the fear of losing her, of letting her down, of not being good-enough for her or about his decision to leave.

Friends. That word sounds good. Great actually. Friends. Not business partners, not room mates – but friends, real friends. It was worth a try, besides he had nothing to lose. If he let them in and they betrayed him, it couldn't possibly feel worse than he did right now at this moment.

"See?" Chris says in Matt's direction.  
Jess takes a deep breath and starts talking.  
"Her name is Rory and I met her while I was staying with my uncle in this crazy little small town in Connecticut…"


	19. Loving hearts are the easiest to break

_Okay, so I and the guys that provide my internet seem to have completely different opinions on what an internet providing company is actually supposed to do. My opinion is that they're supposed to provide an internet connection; apparently that's not their opinion._

_I will reply to your reviews as soon as I get my internet back, and I will write reviews for those of you that have updated stories that I follow, I have already read some of them using my phone, but I hate writing on my phone, I hardly even write texts… I will review as soon as my internet connection is back on track!_

_What did people do when home alone before internet? Let me tell you, my house has never been this clean before – ever! _

_Reviews would make me happy in this difficult time of internet connection absence… _

_Also, thanks to Jessjunky, for making me realize we need to hear Jess tell his roommates about Rory!_

* * *

"Her name is Rory and I met her while I was staying with my uncle in this crazy little small town in Connecticut." Jess takes a sip out of his beer and sighs as he continues. "She was the girl with the perfect grades, the perfect hair and the perfect boyfriend. She was innocent and sweet. I was the bad boy from New York, not so sweet and not so innocent. After almost a year of flirting and me trying to make the boyfriend jealous and trying to make her jealous we started dating. It was amazing." He let out a breath of air. "She was amazing."

OoOo

That night at the dance marathon when Dean had broken up with Rory he almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. He had almost stopped breathing while watching them argue. They were arguing about him. Dean had seen what Jess had known for months; that he and Rory belonged together, that they were supposed to be together, nothing else made sense.

Walking down to the bridge his heart had been beating so fast. If she was there, at the bridge; at their place, it meant she wanted to be with him. If she was not – then he was back to square one, not knowing how to get this specific girl to want to be with him. He had been going over it in his mind; all the reasons she should be there. He couldn't be wrong about this one. Dean couldn't be wrong. Those looks she gave him couldn't be wrong. That kiss in the beginning of the summer couldn't be wrong.

When he approached the bridge and saw her sitting there he had to suppress the want to pinch his arm only to make sure it was actually real. She wanted to be with him. She had confirmed it when he stepped onto the bridge as well. She had told him Dean was right – that she wanted to be with him. At first he couldn't get a word out. He had been scared to talk, the scenario had all too well resembled the numerous dreams he had about this day, about her finally admitting what he had known all along; that she liked him as much as he liked her. He had been afraid that if he spoke he would wake up from his dream, open his eyes and see Rory and Dean still dancing close together at the dance marathon.

OoOo

Neither Chris nor Matt says anything, as if they're afraid to break this short window of trust that had opened as Jess started telling them about his past and the girl he loves.

"But then things started to get out of hand." Jess continues." I was flunking out of school, meaning I couldn't take her to prom as I had promised, my father showed up, the previous perfect boyfriend always seemed to flaunt my mistakes in front of her and then my long lost father showed up out of nowhere and things got to be too much and I split. Without a word I left town and fled to California."

"Was that the last time you saw her?" Matt asks. "…before tonight that is."

Jess shakes his head as he answers "No, I've tried several times to get her back, but the timing was never right. I wasn't ready, she wasn't ready, but when she showed up tonight it was her coming to me and I thought the timing was finally right – that we would be together again." He shrugs his shoulders and tries to look indifferent, but fails at it as the sadness in his eyes gives him away. "But she told me she's in love with this guy at Yale, some rich, arrogant guy that I actually met last time I tried to get her back."

Chris looks confused. "If she wants to be with the rich dude, why did she come here?" He shrugs his shoulders. "I mean, like you said: she came to you this time."

Jess raises his glass and drinks the last of the tequila in it in one big gulp before he answers with a restrained tone of voice. "'Cause he cheated on her, and she wanted to get back at him."

"So she wanted to use you?" Chris looks at him as if he can't believe it. "Not even thinking about how much that would hurt you?"

Jess shrugs his shoulders. As painful as it is to relive the night, and their entire history together, it feels good that they're on his side. It _was_ wrong of her to think that she could use him to get revenge at her boyfriend. She had changed her mind, she hadn't used him. But still, that she could even think the thought of using him like that – it hurts almost more than her pulling away from his kiss and telling her she loves Logan.

Chris rubs his face with his hands, looks up at Jess and shakes his head. "I mean, if you want to use someone – you make it someone that doesn't care if you dump them in the morning, someone that's after the same thing that you are: a night, or a few hours, with someone and nothing more." He slams his hand on the table and raises his voice as he continues. "You don't use someone that loves you, that wants nothing more out of life than to get you back. You…" He gets up from his seat and tips the chair. He kicks it and looks like his about to cry as he continues. "You don't _do_ that!"

Chris takes a deep breath and looks up to see Jess and Matt staring at him in shock. "I'm sorry." He says, looking a bit ashamed. "I…I think your story kind of hit a bit close to home, so to speak." He picks the chair up again and puts in its place. "I'm going out for a smoke…and to cool myself off. I'm sorry."

When Chris has left Jess and Matt sit quietly at the table, not knowing what to say. Jess gets up to grab another beer out of the fridge.

"Jennifer came back once." Matt says and bites his lip.

Jess sits down and looks at him, urging him to continue.

Matt shrugs his shoulder. "It was a few months ago. You were out promoting your book. The guy she dated had thrown her out, they've had a horrible fight. She came here, Chris welcomed her back with arms open. She stayed here for a few days, then the guy came. He brought flowers and a bunch of other over-the-top romantic gestures and she went back to him without even looking back. Chris was crushed."

"Explains the reaction." Jess says quietly and stares at his beer.

"Yeah." Matt sighs. "So…this girl…Rory…did you…I mean did she…use you?"

Jess shakes his head. "No, I kissed her and then she told me about the boyfriend and then she left." A sarcastic smile appears on his lips. "By the sound of it, I should probably be glad she left."

OoOo – Lorelai's point of view, reading the book – OoOo

"That's so romantic!" Sookie claps her hands in excitement. "He's been pining for her all those years." She smiles and bumps her hip into Lorelai's and winks. "Kind of reminds of another love story."

"Yeah." Lorelai smiles, her thoughts clearly elsewhere.

Sookie goes back to chopping the vegetables she's been working on before Lorelai told her the news about Jess' letter. After a moment of silence she looks up from the chopping. "So…" She hesitates for a second before she continues. "…how do you feel about all of this?" She grimaces. "I mean it is Jess."

"I feel okay." Lorelai lets out a breath of air and sits down at one of the chairs in the kitchen. "I'm mostly worried he won't like me, or won't wanna give me a second chance."

"So you're giving him a second chance?" She grabs a new carrot and starts chopping it, trying to look casual.

"Yeah." Lorelai nods. "I am."

"Oh! Oh!" Sookie yells with excitement and a clinking sound is heard as the chopping knife Sookie had dropped in her sudden excitement hits the floor behind her. She quickly walks up to Lorelai and hugs her. "Do you think they'll let me cater the wedding? I could make a wedding cake that looks like a book." Sookie starts drawing on a piece of paper, to show her idea of the cake. "'Cause she likes books, and he likes book, and he wrote a book…to her.

"Sookie. Don't get ahead of yourself." Lorelai tries to hide a smile. Sookie had a tendency to get easily over-excited about things.

"You think they'll want Luke to cater?" Sookie looks disappointed. "'Cause I mean, sure he makes…okay…food, but the book wedding cake, that'll be so romantic."

"She hasn't talked to him yet." Lorelai says using her most convincing voice.

"That's true." Sookie calms down for a while, before the excitement gets to her again. "The book! I haven't asked you about the book." She points to the book next to Lorelai. "That's his book, right? You're reading it? Is it any good?"

"Yea.." Lorelai doesn't have time to finish even that one word before Sookie interrupts her again.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe you're not supposed to talk about it? Before they have talked. But you can say if it's good, right? Am I in it? I was at the dinner the first time they met, does he mention me? Does he mention the pot roast I made? That was good roast."

"Whoa, calm down honey." Lorelai guides Sookie to a chair and sits her down on it. "First of all: yes, I'm allowed to talk about the book, I asked what to tell people and she said I could show the book to anyone who wondered. Second, Jess left before dinner that night, so I'm sorry, the pot roast isn't mentioned, although there's a mentioning of you and Jackson and your love of lemons."

Sookie smiles. "Is it good? Is he a good writer?"

Lorelai nods. "Yeah, he is. I haven't read that much yet, but so far, the book is amazing. I'm getting an insight to all of those things I never understood."

Sookie nods, smiling. "That's good. I mean, it still is a romantic gesture, but if he had been a poor writer, then it would be like: 'Hey, nice little book you wrote there buddy, don't quit your day job'."

"Writing _is_ his day job." Lorelai reminds her. "…or publishing, or something of the likes, I'm not quite sure actually."

While Sookie reads the back cover of Jess' book, Lorelai goes to get a cup of coffee. When she has refilled her cup she turns to Sookie again. "Remember the bid-a-basket, where Jess outbid Dean?"

"Yeah." Sookie nods.

"He had been saving for that." Lorelai smiles to herself. "He had been working extra shifts for Luke, to be able to afford to outbid Dean – only to get to spend time with her."

"That's…that's…" Sookie waves her hands in front of her face and looks like she's about to cry. "Our little girl…" Her voice dies out.

Lorelai grabs the book out of her hands and flips open a page. "Listen to this." She starts reading out loud to Sookie.

_I told her I bought the basket to mess with her boyfriend, but that wasn't true. I couldn't care less about him; I wanted to spend time with her. I had been working extra shifts for my uncle and was saving money to buy a car and I took every penny with me to that auction to make sure I would win her basket._

"So…so…beautiful." Sookie says with a squeaky, tear filled voice.

"I know." Lorelai answers with her voice filled with emotions. "And it gets better." She flips a page and starts reading out loud again.

_When we walked around the bookstore, talking, bantering over authors and each of us trying to convince the other to read this or that book, that's when I realized this was more than a fling, more than simple attraction. I loved her._

"He loves her." Sookie says with her squeaky voice.

"Yeah, he does." Lorelai says and smiles. "He really does."

* * *

_I don't know if it's maybe a bit out of character for Rory to want Lorelai to show the book before she's sure about Jess' intentions, but I had such struggles with writing this chapter, it seemed easier to make Lorelai's reading experiences into a conversation. _

_And I figured Lorelai wouldn't show Sookie the book unless Rory okayed it. I'm thinking the townspeople talking about Logan and her mother and blaming them in an earlier chapter might have helped her make the decision that she wanted Lorelai to tell people about the book._


	20. Friday night's for dinner dates

_Sorry for keeping you waiting. My issues with the internet supplying company have been resolved, but I've been sick for most part of the weekend and you know: the usual, life and stuff got in the way…If there's any inconsistencies in this chapter I'll blame it on the fever I had when writing most of it!_

_This chapter is also divided, the first part is about Jess and the time after Rory left and the second part is about Lorelai reading his book. I hope that isn't confusing, having two different time lines in the same chapter?_

_For those of you requesting the meeting between Rory and Jess: it will soon be here. I just have to get Jess started on writing that book first…_

* * *

"It's been three months Jess." Matt leans on the counter and looks at Jess as he's sorting the receipts in the cash register. "I'm not saying you have to marry the girl right away, but give it a chance, go on a date, you might even enjoy yourself."

Jess gives him an irritated look across the counter, which Matt chooses to ignore. "Come on, she was hot, right? Chris said she was hot." Matt tries again.

"She was…okay." Jess nods and walks towards the small room in the corner of the bookshop, which was originally meant to be used as an office, but instead was more often being used as a storing space.

Matt frowns. "Okay? That's not the description Chris gave me. He said a hot girl gave you her phone number. A _hot_ girl, not an okay girl, a hot girl."

Jess sighs and turns around to face Matt, who is still leaning on the counter, looking at him. "Yeah, she was hot, okay? But that doesn't matter, I'm not calling her."

"Why not? I heard you got along quite well." Matt lets go of the counter and stands up straight, pointing his finger at Jess. "Give me one good reason that doesn't involve the name Rory and I'll let you off the hook."

Instead of answering Jess turns around again and takes up his walk to the office/store room. He wasn't ready to have this discussion with anyone yet, he was still processing it in his mind. On some level going on a date felt like cheating on Rory, although he knows that it wouldn't be – it's been years since they were actually together. At some point he would have to move on, but he wasn't sure he had reached that point just yet. Shouldn't you know for sure when you reached that point?

"Okay then, don't answer." Matt follows Jess and places himself in front of the door to the store room. "But answer this: which books did she buy?"

Jess sighs. "The sub-sect and a copy of 'The Old Man and the Sea'."

Matt gives him a knowing look. "Yeah, you're right. She doesn't sound at all like a girl you would find interesting." His voice is clearly ironic and he rolls his eyes to accompany the tone, to make sure his point isn't missed.

Jess gives him a tired look. "Move please, so I can put these…" He holds up the pack of receipts in his hand. "…in the store room and go upstairs and write."

"You mean sulk? 'Cause that's what you do, you sit up there with your notebook in front of you and sulk. You don't write, I haven't seen you lift your pen once in three months."

"What?" An irritated look flashes across Jess' face, but as he knows Matt doesn't mean any harm by nagging on him like this he forces himself to smile and continues in a mocking tone. "You're watching me? There's nothing more interesting on TV these days?"

"I'm just saying." Matt shrugs his shoulders and moves away from the door. "Maybe one night of thinking about something else is exactly what you need."

Jess gives him another irritated look and goes into the storeroom. He hears Matt sighing as he walks away.

"Make sure to hit the lights when you leave, I'm meeting Chloe for drinks at the bar." He hears Matt shouting before he exits the door out onto the street.

Jess puts the receipts down and sits down on one of the chairs in front of a pile of books and papers covering what was supposed to be a desk. A date. He couldn't go on a date. He was still painfully in love with Rory. Why would he go on a date with someone else?

She had seemed like a nice girl though. She had talked a lot, she actually kind of reminded him of Rory. With the slight difference that she actually seemed to like Hemingway's writing. That's why she had come in.

_"I've read most of his books, but that was back when I was a starving student, and I borrowed almost all of them at the library. Now I've finally got myself a job with a paycheck that allows me to start my own collection of books. So that's what I'm doing, bit by bit."_

It had been a slow morning and they had ended up talking for quite some time; debating their favorite books and authors – agreeing on most of them, disagreeing on some. She had described the emptiness she always felt when finished reading a great book she borrowed from the library and realizing she had to go return it. _"Like losing a dear friend, or giving your baby up for adoption."_ He smiled at the memory. A woman describing a book as a close friend, or her baby, he only knew one other woman that would look at a book that way.

He sighs as he gets up from the chair and starts walking back into the store. He might have lost Rory and his heart would most probably remain broken forever, but it's been years since he really had her so the difference isn't all that big.

He turns the lights off and walks up into the apartment he still shared with Matt and Chris. They were all sporadically browsing through newspapers and ads to look for their own places, but the fact was that they all kind of liked living like that. They had gotten used to each other and the apartment was big enough for three people to live in it, no doubt about that, and it also felt good not having to come home to an empty apartment every night.

"Hello!" He shouts into the apartment to announce his arrival as he opens the door and steps in.

Chris answers with some incomprehensible mumbles from the living room. On his way to the kitchen Jess takes a quick look into the living room and finds Matt heavily concentrated on reading something.

Jess grabs a soda from the fridge and goes back into the living room and sits down at the opposite end of the couch. He casts a glance at Chris, who's still concentrated on his reading, and then shifts his focus to the floor. Jess draws his breath to say something, but changes his mind at the last minute and sits back in the couch, twirling the soda can in his hands.

Too impatient to sit still he leans forward and places the soda can on the table and changes his position on the couch. He looks at Chris again and opens his mouth as to say something, but quickly closes it again, shaking his head.

"What is it?" Chris suddenly says, putting the papers he's reading down and looking at Jess.

Jess hesitates for a few seconds. "Nothing." He shakes his head in what he hopes is an affirming way.

Chris sighs. "Thinking about the girl?"

After their communal break-down that night when Rory came and left, he and Chris had gotten closer. Jess had never felt comfortable talking about feelings or emotions with anyone before, not even Luke, who he trusted more than anyone in the world. But talking to Chris about Rory almost felt like talking to himself, debating with himself. Chris had gone through – no, was going through – the same thing Jess was. Although, Chris seemed to have the situation under far more control than Jess did.

"Which one?" Jess meets his eyes.

"Either one – or both, I'm guessing." Chris leans forward and places the papers he was reading on the table. "I know it sucks, but there's a point where you have to try and move on."

"How…" Jess hesitates and rubs his temples with his fingers. "…I mean, you've been on dates since Jennifer…How do you get yourself to stop hoping and wishing, and fucking _dreaming_ about her coming back when you're awake as well as when you're asleep?" He sighs and looks down at the floor before asking the question that's been bugging him ever since he started talking to that girl in the store earlier in the day. "How do you go on a date with a girl without fearing that her presence in your future will interfere when that other girl, that one girl, maybe decides she wants to come back?"

Chris shrugs his shoulders. "It gets easier with time. The first time will probably suck, and you'll be thinking about her the entire time, comparing the girl to her. But it'll get easier."

Easier? Would going on a date with another girl ever feel easy? He didn't want to be with anyone else, ever. He wanted Rory – simple as that. "Why should I bother going on a date when I can't see myself ever being with another girl?"

Chris' reply comes fast, as if he'd been anticipating the question. "Because that girl that you _can_ see yourself with has another guy in mind when thinking about her future. You can't live your life waiting for the time when she _maybe_ will come back to you, 'cause maybe she won't and then you will have wasted your life waiting for her – while she's out living hers."

She has another guy in mind. He can't see himself being with anyone else but Rory – but she, on the other hand, can't see herself being with anyone but Logan, that's why she had left. She would never come back. She was gone. She as living her life with Logan, loving him, needing him and not being able to imagine her life without him.

When he meets Chris' eyes again he knows for sure that the hurt he's feeling is showing in his eyes. The apologetic look on Chris' face leaves no doubt about it.

"Listen…" Chris says. "…I don't know if it's the right way to go, but Jennifer isn't coming back, and I'm guessing Rory isn't either." He shrugs his shoulders. "In my case, I'm not sure I even want her to come back, seeing how things ended last time. Somehow I have to learn how to move on, and so do you. Life has to be more than this; it can't be 'one strike – you're out'. It doesn't make sense."

Jess sighs. "No. It doesn't."

They sit quiet for a time, both of time preoccupied with their own thoughts about their situations and the concept of moving on even though you're not sure you really want to.

"Have you eaten?" Jess says as he stands up after several minutes.

As always when he and Chris, accidentally or as in this case; on purpose, had opened up and really talked, they both felt somewhat exposed, and there was usually a bit of tension between them for some time afterwards. As if they both regretted opening up to the other, but still they couldn't stop themselves from doing it from time to time.

Chris shakes his head in response.

"Pizza sounds okay?" Jess asks as he picks up his jacket.

"Sure." Chris says as he picks up the papers he had been reading when Jess had entered the apartment.

"I'll go pick some up." He says as he heads for the door, neither of them mentioning the delivery service they most often used when ordering pizza. Jess needed to clear his head and a drive through town was usually a good way to do that. Besides, leaving the apartment would probably relieve the tension between him and Chris. When he came back they would be colleagues and roommates again, not the type of friends that poured their hearts out to each other – that only happened in rare cases, or when a large amount of alcohol was involved. It was a system that worked well for the both of them. A confidant when needed, but buddies for the most of the time.

Jess exits through the backdoor of store and makes his way to his car which is parked nearby. When he reaches his car he unlocks it and reaches in through the passenger door, opens the glove compartment and picks out a pack of cigarettes.

He had stopped smoking a long time ago, this was simply and emergency pack. This situation might not qualify as an emergency, but he felt a strong desire for just one cigarette; to clear his thoughts and to help him think.

He lights the cigarette and draws a smoke. It never tasted as good as he imagined it would, but somehow it always managed to calm him down.

Maybe moving on is his only alternative. He can't go his whole life waiting for Rory to come back. He had showed her several times that he wanted to be with her, she knows what he wants. If she wanted to be with him she would already be. But she didn't want to; she wanted to be with Logan.

He throws the half-smoked cigarette on the ground and steps on it. In his mind smoking always tasted so good, in reality: it didn't. At least not the first ones, and suffering through those first ones only to get to the good part only seemed like a good idea when he was really feeling down – or intoxicated.

He gets into his car and starts driving towards, in his opinion, the best pizza-place in all of Philadelphia. It was a number of blocks away, but it was worth the drive. Especially today as the drive gave him time to think.

Chris was right, it didn't make sense. It was only in silly romantic movies or fairytales that people loved each other forever. In real life, you had several shots at being happy, at being loved. He wasn't a noble fairytale prince and Rory wasn't his fairytale princess, they were real people and their story didn't end with the words 'and so they lived happily ever after'.

In real life, no one's story did. In fact, in real life, the stories never ended. Not even after we're dead. In real life, our stories keep going through our memory, through our children or grandchildren, all the people that loved you or hated you – in one way or another, the story never ends. And in real life stories there isn't just one prince that can wake the princess from her eternal sleep and the glass slipper will fit on more than one foot.

Rory had loved Dean and Logan, and even though she had never said it he was pretty sure that once she had loved him too. Luke had loved Rachel and Lorelai, and probably at some time he had loved April's mother. His mother had been in love more times than he could count.

And there were other types of love as well. Rory loves her mother and her father. Luke loves his daughter and his sister. Liz loves him, even though he at times had doubted that love was as important as the men she loved, he knows now that she does.

Maybe a heart could never be full; maybe there was always room for more love – for new loves, not meaning that you would in any way have to diminish the love that was already there. Maybe it was possible for him to still love Rory, to always have the memory of her in his heart, and still move on and fall in love again.

He shakes his head to rid himself of the thoughts as he parks his car on the side of the street outside the pizza-place. He takes a quick check inside his wallet, to see if he needs to pay a visit to an ATM before ordering the food.

After making sure he has enough cash he picks up a piece of paper placed in a compartment inside the wallet. It was the phone number that girl had handed to him in the bookstore. After hesitating for a few seconds he picks his phone up and dials the number.

"Hello." She answers almost immediately.

"Hi, Vanessa?" He clears his throat, he feels more nervous than he thought he would. "It's Jess…from Truncheon books."

"Hi." She sounds surprised and happy.

How did you do this? He had never once asked a girl out before. Shane had been the one taking initiative when they started dating that summer, when he and Rory started dating they already knew each other well enough to avoid the 'asking her out on a date' part and the girls since her had been more of casual hook-ups than actual dates. He was 23 years old and had never ever asked a girl out.

"This is kind of freaky." She says and laughs. "I just got home and I was sitting down with a cup of coffee, about to open your book – and then you call."

"So you chose my book to start with, over Hemingway? Don't know if I'm more disappointed or thrilled." This wasn't that hard. She was easy to talk with; the words seemed to come out so easily. She made it easy to talk to her.

"Well…I weighed my options carefully and came to the conclusions that the author of 'the Subsect' was more likely to call and ask my opinion than the author of 'the Old Man and the Sea', and besides, if Hemingway _did_ somehow wake up from the dead and decided to call me… " She laughs, or giggles, or something in between the both, he can't quite decide how to describe the sound, but it draws a smile to his lips. "…I would probably come up with a few things to say even if I hadn't just recently read any of his books."

He laughed and leaned back in his car seat. "Yeah, when you put it that way…"

When hanging up the phone he casts a glance at the time. They had talked for almost 30 minutes. It hadn't felt like 30 minutes. Even though he just recently met her, it felt like talking to an old friend. It felt like what he imagined talking to Rory would feel like if they had met when they were older and didn't have all that complicated history between them. If Rory had liked Hemingway that is, and if she hadn't been in love with the Jerk.

He and Vanessa had decided to meet for dinner on Friday, and he was actually looking forward to it. Dinner on Friday. A Friday night dinner. He wonders if Rory still goes to Friday night dinners at her grandparent's house. She probably does. He wonders if Logan's going with her. He decides that he probably is.

Her grandparents probably liked Logan. He wasn't the type of guy that would show up with a black eye and not give them any explanations. He was the type of guy that knew in an instant which fork to use with which dish. He was the type of guy that could probably make dinner conversation with her grandmother and share a glass of brandy and a cigar with her grandfather after dinner. He was probably the type of guy that she didn't have to talk and beg into coming with her to Friday night dinners. Maybe he was the type of guy that Rory should be with.

Maybe Chris was right. Maybe he had to learn how to move on. What was the point of pining after a girl that had so clearly chosen to be with someone else?

Maybe Vanessa wasn't the one he would fall in love with. As far as getting over Rory, she would probably remind him too much of her to make that possible. But at least it was a step in the right direction and he had a feeling that he would enjoy her company on their Friday night dinner.

OoOo – Lorelai's point of view, reading the book – OoOo

There was a lull at the Inn at the moment, as the guests that were supposed to check out had done so, but the new guests hadn't arrived yet. Without knowing it, Lorelai had placed herself to continue reading in the same armchair that Rory had sat on that night when she read Jess' book.

She sits for a while, holding the book in her hands. There were so many things she didn't know about Jess. She didn't know he had the same passion for books as Rory did. She didn't know _why_ he had done all the things that in her eyes had passed off as rebellious acts or a protest against this small-town and all it stood for.

She opens the book and flips back a few pages from where she left off. She draws her finger against the lines as she re-reads them.

_When we got up to leave I noticed her bracelet had fallen off. I took it. I didn't intend to keep it, but by not giving it back right away it would give me an excuse to talk to her at a later time._

He hadn't taken the bracelet out of spite, or to support his rebellious acts. He had taken it because it gave him an excuse to talk to Rory again. With everyone in town rooting against him, she could easily understand his need to find an excuse to talk to her. That was why he had bought her basket; to spend time alone with her.

Rory and Jess, spending time alone – talking about books. She smiles to herself. If someone had told her seven years ago that Jess wanted to spend time alone with her daughter, talking about books wouldn't be the first activity that would have sprung to her mind. But that's what they had done the very first time they were left alone.

She sighs with the smile still on her lips and keeps reading where she left off to let her thoughts wander.

_But that wasn't necessary, we talked anyway and I forgot about the bracelet. Later, when I found out that her boyfriend had given her the bracelet I couldn't just give it back to her, everyone would assume I stole it to mess with her. She would assume that._

Lorelai bites her lip. _She_ had immediately jumped to the conclusion that he stole it. She can't remember exactly what she had said, but she remembers calling him on it when he returned the bracelet to be found in Rory's room.

It seemed like many of the things he had done that had made her dislike him he had done to get Rory's attention; to make her look at him instead of Dean.

By the sound of the first guests of the day stepping through the front door, she gets up from the chair and greets them, the book safely put away in her handbag.

* * *

_I don't know if it might be a bit out of character for Jess to open up to someone like he did with Chris in this chapter, but I figured it could be possible as it is somehow his first real friendship and with someone that is going through the same things he is. Let me know if you think it's too much out of character…_

_The part with Lorelai reading might was a bit short, but the Jess part of this chapter got to be a bit long, so I hope that makes up for it…_


	21. It's her loss, right?

s

_I have to confess: I'm not the least bit inspired to write the 'Lorelai reading' pieces – so this chapter is only about Jess. But don't worry, I have a plan to work Lorelai's insights from reading into the story even without the actual reading pieces… _

_And for those of you that clicked your way here and were disappointed that this isn't the chapter where we get to know what happens after Rory knocks on Jess' door, let me ease your pains: After this chapter there is only two fairly short chapters, both mostly written already so the updating will be fast, and then we'll be back to present time to see what happens…_

_And one more thing: The song playing on the radio in this chapter in a song by a Swedish group called "The Ark" and I don't know how likely it is that a U.S radio station would play it – but it's a great song, so just humor me on this one, okay? I'll leave the name of the song at the end of the chapter in case you want to check it out. (Which I advise you to do – the lyrics are truly amazing!)_

* * *

Jess pulls the car up outside Vanessa's apartment. He's early and he figures he better wait for a few minutes in the car rather than stressing her out by being too early for their second date.

Their first date last week had actually gone really well. It hadn't been as hard as he thought it would be. Spending time with Vanessa almost felt like hanging out with Matt or Chris – with the difference that he usually didn't kiss either of them at the end of the night.

Sure, he had been thinking about Rory a lot during their date, but that was probably a part of the moving on process that Chris had talked about. It was hard not thinking about Rory, especially since there were so many things about Vanessa that reminded him of Rory.

Vanessa worked as a journalist at the local newspaper; she wrote a column as well as reporting actual news. He had felt a sting in his heart when she told him. It was impossible not to think about Rory then. Or when Vanessa laughed and her dark brown hair fell down on the sides of her face. Her hair was longer than Rory's, but it had the same color and that was enough to get his thoughts wandering. He likes this girl. Somehow it feels like a second chance with Rory – without their complicated history to mess things up.

He stirs when there's a knock on his car window. He looks up and sees Vanessa smiling at him. He gets out of his car.

"I saw your car through the window." She says as he greets her with a hug and a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I'm early, didn't think you were ready." He explains as he leads her to the passenger door and opens it for her.

"Since you insisted on picking me up this early, I thought you'd be standing outside my door pacing impatiently if I wasn't ready on time." She says as she steps into the car.

He walks around the car and takes his place in the driver's seat. "Nah, I'm not the impatient, pacing kind of guy."

"Good to know for future reference."

He grins. "I just let you get away with being late for any date we have from this day on, didn't I?"

"I think you did." She says with a satisfied smile.

"What is it you girls do that _always_ makes you late by the way?" He says, honestly wondering.

"Hey!" She turns her head and looks at him and he meets her eyes with a smile on his lips. "I wasn't late!"

"No, I'll give you that. But generally, it is a well-known fact that girls are never on time. In movies, the guys always have to wait because the girl isn't ready on time."

"What movies are you watching?" She laughs, and it's an infectious laughter that Jess learned to appreciate about fifteen minutes into their first date.

"Never mind." He says and waves his hand as to dismiss the conversation topic.

"I've heard about the phenomena of women not being on time before." She relents. "I just figured it was one of those stereotypes that are rarely connected with reality. Like all little boys love playing with blue cars and the girls love playing with dolls in pink dresses."

"So you're never late for a date?"

"Well…I mean…" She laughs again. "I swear sometimes that damn time moves faster than normal."

"That damn time?" He laughs as well.

"Yeah, like you know when you're standing in line somewhere and time seems to drag its feet, a second feels like a minute." She looks at him for confirmation and he nods. "And other times, when you're having fun with your friends or when you're wrapped up in a really good book…"

"…or when you're getting ready for a date?" Jess suggests, interrupting her.

"Exactly." A broad smile appears on her face. "At those times an hour goes by like a minute."

He smiles back at her and then focuses his eyes on the road. This feels good; talking and laughing together. It sure beats sitting at home dwelling on things that he has no power to change.

He casts a quick glance to his side. Vanessa was a beautiful girl; the long, dark hair that fell in soft curls over her back, accompanied by a set of green eyes that always seemed to have a smile lingering in them.

She seemed to have an optimistic outlook on life that easily spread to people in her vicinity. Spending time with her was easy and uncomplicated; she was outgoing and always spoke her mind.

She was an amazing girl, but she wasn't Rory. He had to admit that in comparison she wouldn't stand a chance. Right now; no woman probably could. The wound was still too fresh.

"Where are we going?" She asks and diverts him from his thoughts.

He gives her sly smile. "You'll see."

"If you're planning on killing me, I'd better let you know my sister knows I'm on a date with you, so if I go missing; you'll be the prime suspect."

"Noted."

She smiles and shakes her head. "You're really not telling me where we're going?"

"Nope." He meets her eyes for a few seconds before focusing on the road again. "Ever heard about the concept of a surprise?"

"I'm familiar with the concept."

"Good."

They drive for some time, laughing and joking with each other. Jess can't remember the last time he felt this relaxed when spending time with another person, Matt and Chris not included. They lived together, so the feeling relaxed part had sprung more from necessity than actual feeling relaxed to begin with. It had been years.

"Okay." Vanessa says after a while as she looks out the windows at the surroundings. "You are aware that we're now driving out of the city?"

He nods. "I'm aware."

"Just making sure."

He pulls into a parking spot outside an old, rundown house.

"Are we visiting someone?" She asks, almost whispering as if she's afraid the people living inside the house would hear her and think her to be rude.

"Guess you could say that." He says as he gets out of the car and walks around it to open her door and offer her his hand to help her out.

She takes his hand and steps out of the car, curiously looking around her. He smiles as he watches her.

"Come." He says and takes her hand, dragging her with him.

They walk towards the house, following an overgrown stone path. As they passes group of small sheds Jess stops her and turns her in the direction of them and points to a sign above the largest of the sheds saying: "The Bookshed" in big letters. "Old and new, read and unread – welcome in and discover a world of books" reads a smaller sign next to the door.

She turns to Jess with a surprised look on her face and a wide smile on her lips. "A bookstore?"

"A bookshed." He corrects her smiling. "You said you were starting your own collection of books, right?" She nods, still smiling and he continues. "Then this place is a must."

Without saying a word she throws her arms around him and kisses him quickly before letting go of him and starting her way towards the shed.

**OoOoOoOo**

Jess picks a book down from one of the shelves and carefully flips through it. She would love this book. He'd read it a few years back and didn't like it at all, but he knows she will. This is exactly the type of book they would argue over and she would persuade him to read, and he would – not because the book sounded the least bit enticing, but because she asked him to. He turns around with the book in his hand.

He smiles when he sees her, bent down looking at a book on one of the lower shelves. "R…" He starts but realizes the mistake he's about to make and stops himself before the woman standing a few steps away even notices anything.

He hastily puts the book back on the shelf and walks away to the end of the shelf and leans against the corner of it. He rubs his temples with his hands. What was he doing? In his mind he wasn't on a date with Vanessa. In his mind he had planned the perfect date for him and Rory. In his mind he _was_ on a date with Rory. Vanessa was her substitute. That's why he felt like he had known her forever – in his mind he had.

This wasn't right. He has to focus, he can't allow himself to get lost like that again. Vanessa isn't Rory. Vanessa is her own person. The fact that she has dark hair, works as a reporter and likes books doesn't turn her into Rory.

He's here with Vanessa. Rory is somewhere else with Logan. He's on a date with Vanessa. Vanessa, a woman who isn't Rory and never will be Rory – not meaning that she can't be a great woman if only he gives a fair chance.

He takes a deep breath and steps back into the aisle they'd been going through. He puts his hand on Vanessa's back as he walks up to her. "See anything interesting?"

She stands up straight and smiles at him. "A lot. This place is amazing!"

He smiles. "I figured you'd like it." He takes a breath and forces himself to think about her as Vanessa and not pretend she's someone she's not.

"You do realize it's not a very smart move from someone that owns a bookstore to show this place to his customers?" She says and holds up a pack of books to show him her findings.

"Ah, well." He shrugs his shoulders as they head for the cash register. "They do have a wider selection than we have, but I don't feel threatened." He smiles and nods at the old lady behind the counter. "I think the owner of this place is already married."

She giggles and nudges his side. "Ah, story of my life."

"The best ones are always taken." He says and it's not until the words are already spoken that he realizes exactly how well that statement, which was meant to be humorous, fits into his life at this particular time.

"Guess I'll have to settle for you then." Vanessa says with a smile before she turns towards the counter to pay for her books.

Was that what he was doing? Settling? Would he settle for Vanessa or some other girl based on the fact that he couldn't be with Rory? Or would he be able to love someone else in the future? Maybe get married and have children? Children that didn't have Rory's blue eyes.

Was that really fair to another girl? To settle for her because the girl he really wanted didn't love him back?

"This place is really cheap." Vanessa whispers as she reunites with him by the door where he's been waiting for her.

"I know." He smiles, he shouldn't over think this, he should live in the moment and don't think about neither the past nor the future. "Don't tell Matt and Chris…" He leans over and whispers as in conspiracy as they head for his car. "…but I do most of my book shopping here."

She puts her hands over her mouth and inhales, pretending to be in shock. "Ah…" She points at him, her eyes glittering with laughter. "…you're a traitor!"

He laughs and without giving it any closer thought he wraps his arm around her waist as they walk the last few steps towards his car.

**OoOoOoOo**

"You don't like poetry?" Vanessa looks at Jess, across the table where they just finished their dinner, as in shock.

"Nope."

"Just like that? Nope?"

"Yep."

"So I assume you've read a lot of poetry?"

Jess shakes his head. "No."

"Oh, come on. You can't say you don't like it if you haven't read any."

"I've read some."

"Okay, like what?" She asks and takes a sip of wine from the glass in front of her.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"What can I say? The little poetry I've read didn't make any impression."

"Then you've read the wrong kind of poetry, or you read it in the wrong way."

"There's a wrong way to read poetry?" He raises one eye brow as he looks at her.

"Well, no, not if you give it an honest try, which judging by your attitude towards poetry I'd say you didn't."

Jess puts his arms on the table and leans forward towards her. "Why do you like it?"

"Because it's personal."

"Personal? You think a poem is more personal than a book? Now, I haven't written any poems, but I've written a book and that felt pretty personal to me."

She shakes her head. "Not like that. Personal in the sense that the same poem can mean so many different things depending on who's reading it."

"Explain." He looks intrigued.

"Depending on who you are, what your experiences in life are, your mood at the time you're reading the poem, your emotions, your feelings – everything that makes you you, it all goes into _your_ interpretation of the poem. If you're heart-broken your understanding of the poem will differ from someone who's madly in love."

"Huh, I never looked at it that way."

"You like music, right?"

"Yeah."

"Song lyrics is poetry." She says and smiles as if his previous answer had made him admit his love for poetry.

"But then there's music accompanying it." He argues.

"Sure." She shrugs her shoulders. "I'll give you some stuff to read sometime, I think you'll actually like it."

"Maybe."

**OoOoOoOo**

"Oh! This song is so great!" Vanessa says and leans over to turn the volume up as he drives her home after dinner.

Jess wrinkles his forehead and listens to the intro. "Don't think I've heard it before."

"It's some European group, Swedish I think, they're not that well-known, but listen to the lyrics. That guy's a poet."

He smiles at her finding yet another way to preach about her passion of poetry as the lyrics start playing.

_And I know we were both too young  
way back when we had our thing  
And you're not the one that I think of  
every time that the telephone rings_

Great. A song about an old lover. He takes a deep breath. Did she know about Rory? No, he hasn't told her, so how could she know? He casts a glance at her, but she seems to be oblivious; smiling and singing along.

_And I know that what we had  
would not be called love by the ones who know  
And I know it's been many years  
and a hundred love affairs ago_

The ones who know? Who knows what love is? He doesn't and he had never asked Matt's poet as he told her he would. Not that it matter, apparently Rory knows what love is. Love is what she feels for Logan.

_I know all that so well  
but I also do know this:  
Calleth you, cometh I_

The chorus hits him like a punch in the stomach. Calleth you, cometh I. So simple – yet at the same time it said everything. It was the way he felt for her. Calleth you, cometh I – anytime, anywhere. Call my name and I'll be there in a heartbeat.

_And that's just how it is  
and how it's always been  
It's where my reason stops  
and something else comes in_

He tries to focus on the road and eliminate everything else, especially the words pouring out of the speaker and through to his broken heart. But it doesn't work, he can't shut them out; he wants to what happens, how the song ends. If the singer gets the girl in the end.

_I know it doesn't make sense,  
but still…  
Calleth you, cometh I  
– and that's how it is_

That's how it is. Yeah – it is how it is. It doesn't make sense at all, but maybe that's what love is; not being able to refrain from doing something even though it makes no sense at all. Like inviting her to the open house at Truncheon, or going to her grandmother's house, or asking her to run away with him, or leaving without saying a word as goodbye only because you know that you have to and you don't want to see her upset and sad – or even worse: neither upset nor sad.

_And I know how we became restrained  
every time we were among friends  
And I know how it was last time  
and how bitterly it always ends_

He reaches for the radio and turns it off. Last time? How bitterly it always ends? You've gotta be kidding me. He can't hear another word or his head, or his heart, or his chest will explode. Something will most definitely.

He feels Vanessa's questioning looks on him. "I have a headache." He says, trying to explain. She doesn't say anything, which is enough to prove she doesn't believe him, but at least she doesn't call him on his lie or demands an explanation.

They drive in silence until they reach Vanessa's place. They both get out of the car and stands in silence looking at each other on the sidewalk in front of her house.

With a determined look on his face he takes a step closer to her. He had said he would give it a fair chance, and he will.

Without leaving her eyes for a second he leans in towards her to kiss her goodnight. She closes her eyes and meets his lips, soft and light. He feels the warmth flowing from her mouth as she separates her lips and allows his tongue access to her mouth.

He hears her handbag and her book bag drop on the floor as she lets go of them and wraps her arms around his body. He raises his hands and cups her face in them and intensifies the kiss when she slowly pulls back from him and opens her eyes again.

It had been a good kiss. A great kiss actually. But something was missing. The heat and the passion was there, no doubt about it, as well as the 'wanting more' and the 'difficult to stop' parts.

But that warm feeling deep inside, that expectant feeling he felt the very first time Rory had kissed him was missing; that feeling that meant something more than just the physical kiss, the warm, fussy feeling that made it impossible to think straight for hours afterwards. It wasn't there.

He wondered if Vanessa felt that warm, fussy feeling, if she was as full of expectations for their future as he had been when Rory kissed him at the beginning of the summer many years ago.

"So…good night then." She says and smiles.

"Good night." He says, still wrapped up in his thoughts.

"Unless…" She hesitates and bites her lower lip. "…you want to come in?"

There it was. The point of no return. If he followed her into the apartment, they would most likely have sex tonight. Not that he would mind that particular part, but it would make him a jerk. If he slept with Vanessa tonight, it wouldn't be long before they were officially an item, which would in most cases make sense. But if Rory came back he couldn't be involved with another girl. It wasn't right. Calleth you, cometh I. He couldn't help it.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a few seconds before answering. "I can't."

She looks confused. "You have to get up early tomorrow?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I can't do _this_."

"This?"

"You, me, dating. I can't." He wasn't prepared for this. He had no idea what to tell her.

"Who's the girl?" She says, not looking the least bit angry or upset – only interested and concerned.

"Why do you assume there's a girl?" He questions back with a defensive tone in his voice.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Sometimes when we talk it feels like you're million miles away, thinking about something, or someone, else. And at times, you look at me like you see someone else, or you wish you saw someone else.

"You got all that from two dates?" He sounds disbelieving and irritated but he can't help it. What was with this girl? Couldn't she just accept that he didn't want to continue this dating and move on with her life?

"Guess I'm just that perceptive." She says with a sardonic smile. "Or, you're just that obvious. The lyrics in the car, they reminded you of someone, didn't they?"

"There's no girl." He says, not wanting to pour his heart out to this girl. He had been doing enough heart-pouring for a life time the last couple of weeks.

"Come on Jess." She says and sighs. "I'm not stupid. She's a reporter, right?"

He stirs at her question and looks at her, frowning. How could she know?

"Either she is, or the guy she left you for is." She continues, ignoring his irritated look.

Why was she prying like this? What did it matter to her? And how could she know Rory was a reporter, or at least wanted to be?

His wondering must have showed on his face, 'cause she continues with an explanation. "You flinched. On our first date, when I told you I worked as a reporter, you flinched. And although I must say I don't think I've ever met anyone that goes through so much trouble to hide his inner thoughts I saw pain in your eyes before you were able to compose your features."

"Does the FBI know about you?" He says muttering, although he has to admit he's a bit impressed at her perceptiveness.

She laughs. "I'd call it reporter's intuition, or maybe that sixth sense us women allegedly has…so she is a reporter?"

He nods. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter. She's…" He shrugs his shoulders, unsure about how to continue. "She's moved on, and I'm trying to." He looks at the floor and then meets her eyes again. "Not very successfully though…" He adds with a bitter smile.

Vanessa nods. "These things take time." She smiles and strokes his shoulder. "I'm glad you told me now, before I fell head over heels in love with you." She laughs that characteristic laugh of hers that seems to always draw a smile to his lips.

"Yeah."

She leans forward and kisses his cheek. "Good luck with the girl, and if you ever want a friend to accompany you book shopping – you know where to find me." She turns and starts walking towards her apartment building.

He starts walking to the driver's side of his car. "She's in love with someone else." He blurts out as he turns around, not really knowing why it feels so important that she knows that. "So, it's not like I'm going to be with her…" He says, instantly regretting his words.

Vanessa turns around and looks at him. "If she can't see what a great guy you are, it's her loss, right?" She smiles as to try and comfort him.

"Right." He shrugs his shoulders and gets in the car.

**OoOoOoOo**

Jess sighs as he walks into the empty apartment and turns the light switch on. Matt and Chris are both away for the weekend, leaving him with an empty apartment. Is this what his future will be like? Coming home every night to a dark, empty apartment. No one there to share his thoughts after a long day at work, no warm body to crawl down next to at the end of the day, no one to share all those little things of everyday life with.

He sighs and walks into the kitchen and grabs a beer out of the fridge before placing himself on the couch. He doesn't believe in Chris' ideas about moving on. Not like that. It isn't fair to lead someone on, to make them think you're looking for the same things they are, only to ease your own heartbreak.

Maybe he should buy a dog. Not now, but someday, when Chris and Matt have moved on and started their own families. It would be nice not to be completely alone at the end of the day. Dogs made nice company, and they didn't send out that crazy-vibe that cats tended to do.

Dogs where loyal animals. Simple. As long as you treated them well; fed them, played with them and took them for walks, they would love you back.

He looks around the empty living room and his eyes falls on the copy of 'the Subsect' that Rory left behind, lying on one of the shelves in the living room bookcase. He hadn't sent it back to her and he hadn't been able to get rid of it either. She hadn't asked for it. She probably hadn't even noticed it was missing.

He gets up from the couch and walks over to the bookcase and picks the book up. She wouldn't come back for the book. If she wanted to read it again she'd just buy a new copy. Hell, her boyfriend could probably buy her all the books she ever wanted. Even his book.

The book she inspired him to write without even knowing she did it; only by believing in him. It disturbs him knowing that Logan of all people could walk in to a bookstore and buy Jess' book and give it to Rory as a gift.

With a pondering look on his face he sits down on the edge of the coffee table. Yes…Logan could most probably buy Rory all the books ever printed if he wanted to. But he couldn't write her one. Jess could. In fact, he almost had already.

The notebook he brought with him to California is full of their memories. He had used it to write in as an outlet when his emotions overwhelmed him that summer in California. He had sat on the boulevard filling page after page with memories and thoughts about them, about their love, about why things had gone so terribly wrong and out of control.

He could use those notes. He could use those notes and write her a book. A book reminding her of what they had – how perfect they were together.

Excited about the idea he pops up from his chair as another thought hits him. His book would be like poetry. If she still had feelings left for him the book would serve as a reminder of what they were and what they had. If all he feelings were gone she would look at the book as merely memories of a time that lied behind her.

He walks into his bedroom and picks up the notebook and sits down in front of his computer and immediately gets started with writing her a book.

* * *

_After re-watching the episode 'the Real Paul Anka' I realized that Rory took her copy of the book with her when she left. My mistake, so…in this version of the story – she dropped it on the floor when she and Jess kissed. Just wanted to point that out in case someone else made that same discovery._

_And also: the song by The Ark is called: "Calleth you, cometh I", figured it would be too much of a spoiler to put that in before the chapter…_


	22. Anything to distract me

_As I promised: the updating of chapters 22 and 23 will be fast, as they were mostly written already when I posted chapter 21. Chapter 23 will be up either later tonight or tomorrow..._

_And as I said: both chapters are short, like really short. But they're rather important to the forthcoming plot..._

* * *

Jess throws his pen away and leans back in his chair, rubbing his face with his hands. What was he thinking? Did he really he think she would come running back if he wrote her a book? She didn't exactly jump into his arms when he wrote his first book, what makes him think she would this time?

He stares down at the papers lying shattered on the table before him. It's all there. The evidence. She didn't leave Dean to be with him; Dean left her and then she came to him. She hadn't run after him when he told her he loved her. She had refused to run away with him when he came for her. She had followed him when he left the pub, but she had gone back inside…to Logan. And she had left, saying she was in love with Logan, last time they met.

Why was he doing this to himself? Clearly she didn't feel the same way about him as he did about her. Writing the book was a stupid idea.

All because of that song. Calleth you, cometh I. It didn't have to be that way. He did have a choice.

The sound of the door bell echoes through the empty apartment and he gets up from his chair to open the back door. He isn't expecting anyone. A flutter of hope raises in his stomach, but he quickly kills it. Rory doesn't know where the back entrance is. She probably doesn't even know there is a back entrance to the apartment.

He opens the door and sees Vanessa standing on the other side, she looks nervous as she strikes her hair behind her ear and attempts to give him a smile before she starts talking in a rapid pace, as if she's afraid he's going to cut her off.

"I couldn't sleep last night. All these thoughts about what you told me last night about you and this girl were running through my mind." She hesitates for a second. "You sounded like you've given up on her?"

He shrugs his shoulders, thinking it's none of her business.

"Can I come in?" Jess takes a step to the side and lets her in. "I hate to barge in like this, and I'm sorry if I come off as pushy, but I really do feel that we're so much alike you and me. Although I'm clearly more found of using a lot of words to make a point, ironic that you're the one writing whole books and I'm the one stuck with a small column."

He doesn't want to hear her using a lot of words, because he's certain that a major part of those words will be questions or opinions about him and Rory and he can't take that right now. Why did she have to show up?

She takes a breath and opens her mouth to continue explaining her reasons for coming over.

"I think…" She starts as Jess makes a quick decision and to shut her up he puts his arm around her waist, pulls her closer and crashes his lips towards hers. _Rory loves Logan_, he tells himself over and over again as a mantra as Vanessa kisses him back. He tries to push every thought about Rory out of his head and starts making the kisses more passionate and eager.

She tries to pull back but he tightens his grip around her and she gives in.

_Rory loves Logan_

He lets one of his hands wander slowly up her back and into her hair, desperately trying to push her mouth closer to his to stop himself from thinking altogether.

_Rory loves Logan_

She moans softly against his lips and with frantic motions he lets go of her hair and waist and starts unbuttoning her blouse.

_Rory loves Logan_

Without leaving her lips even for a second he starts walking backwards, dragging her with him towards his bedroom, still undoing the buttons in her blouse.

He needs this. He needs to do anything but think about Rory; about how much he still loves her. He needs a distraction. Vanessa is a good distraction; she's smart and beautiful. Just like Rory.

He tries to shake the thoughts of Rory away and pulls himself away from Vanessa's lips just long enough to allow him to take his shirt off and throw it in a corner of his bedroom.

Vanessa's hands are gently stroking his chest while he lays down on the bed, pulling her over him.

_Rory loves Logan_

With a desperate glance in his eyes he starts trailing kisses down her neck until he reaches the soft lace of her bra. He then pulls her head down towards his and finds her mouth again. She presses herself against him and he moans and rolls her over, pinning her body between his body and the bed.


	23. Wedding-crashers and wedding-planners

_Just a quick note: this chapter takes place the day before Rory's wedding to Logan, meaning 1 year and almost 8 months has passed since the previous chapter._

* * *

Vanessa stands on the street, next to Jess' parked car, with Jess in the driver's seat.

"So tomorrow's her big day?" She says leaning through the open window and Jess nods in response. She rolls her eyes. "Something borrowed, something blue and an ex-boyfriend?"

"I'm not seeing her. I'm just leaving the package." He says without emotion, simply stating facts, while staring out the front window.

She sighs. "I still think..:"

"I know what you think…" He interrupts her in a harsh voice. "…but this is the way I'm doing it."

"But she might…"

He turns to face her and makes sure to catch her eyes before interrupting her again. "When she left I seriously doubted there was even a meaning for me to continue living." He stresses every word. "I've gone through things in my life, but I've never before doubted whether I should stay alive or not. I can't have my heart broken like that again – that's why I'm doing this _my_ way, okay?"

"Fine!" She says and stands up straight, taking a step away from the car.

"Fine!" He answers and starts the engine.

She leans forward again and says "Good luck!" with a smile on her face before he rolls up the window and drives off.

"Where's Jess going?" Chris says as he walks down the small set of stairs from Truncheon and onto the street next to Vanessa.

"Visiting a friend over the day. He'll be back tomorrow." She answers quickly.

Chris nods in an absent-minded way. "By the way Vanessa.." He says as he gets to the reason he really stepped out onto the street when he saw her outside the store."…are you living in our apartment? I mean living in it like paying rent, contributing to the handy-man fund, buying milk?"

She smiles. "Okay Chris, tell me what's bothering you this time. Did I leave smudges of mascara on the sink again? Clean the dishes when it was actually your turn? Which by the way I've done several times. Oh, oh, I know!" She nods knowingly. "Did I leave pieces of clothes that made you blush, in places where you'd stumble upon them?"

He frowns, but there's a smile on his lips nonetheless. "All I'm saying is that _I_ am not the one that has a girlfriend practically living in our apartment, and still _my_ hair smells like apricot."

She looks surprised. "My apricot conditioner…_That's_ what's bothering you?"

"Well….yeah. I like my manly smelling two-in-one shower cream/shampoo but sometimes, when I'm in a hurry I take the wrong bottle and I end up smelling like a fruit basket all day."

"Smelling like one, acting like one" She mumbles to herself.

She wraps her arm around Chris' waist and they start slowly walking up the stairs. "Me insisting on designating half a shelve in the fridge for my fruits and vegetables – that doesn't bother you. "She chuckles. "Me filling your little bachelor pad with curtains and tablecloths – that doesn't bother you." She stops on the top of the stair before entering the door. "Staying up all night making sometimes loud, sometimes weird, sex noises, the weird ones not coming from me I might just add – that doesn't bother you." She's giggling so hard she can hardly stand. "But my apricot conditioner – that bothers you."

He can't hold back a smile, even though he tries to look offended.

"Thank you Chris. Thank you for being in my life – you just make life so much more fun!"

He holds the door open for them."Yeah, yeah, apart from the apricot conditioner – you're kind of okay too I guess."

* * *

OoOo – Lorelai's point of view, reading the book – OoOo

After a long day at the diner Luke walks through the front door and is met by an excited Lorelai, holding a closed book clenched in her left hand.

"We have to get married." She says, walking backwards in front of him as he starts making his way to the kitchen.

"What?" He stops deadpanned in the doorway.

She nods enthusiastically. "I've just finished reading Jess' book, and the way I see it – we have to get married. There's no other way, the sooner the better."

He raises his eyebrows and looks at her as he walks over to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. "You know I didn't write you a book, right?"

She glares at him with and irritated frown on her face. "Yeah, I know." She sits down at the table where a bunch of papers with incomprehensible scrabbles on them are lying in a mess. "Stop talking crazy and help me plan this thing." She moves the papers around, waves a few of them in his direction to clarify what she means by 'this thing'. "I'm thinking we do it on a boat, out at sea. Then neither of them can run away. Of course we'll take the life boats away, just in case."

"Of course" Luke mutters, but Lorelai doesn't seem to hear him.

"We have to be rather far out, taking away the option of swimming to shore…" She says as she reads from one of the papers. "…and maybe skip the life jackets as well…" she reaches for a pen and starts adding to the paper she's reading from as she continues talking. "'Cause with a life jacket on, no matter how far out we are, the option of swimming to shore won't seem impossible."

"I'm talking crazy?" He shakes his head and sits down next to her. "As tempting as a wedding on a boat, far out in the open ocean, without life boats or life jackets sounds, I'll have to ask where this is coming from?"

She puts the papers down put her hands out. "They have to be together. They're perfect together – I can't believe I didn't see it before." She shakes her head at her previous ignorance.

"Jess and Rory?"

"Yes, Jess and Rory. Who did you think I was talking about? Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? 'Cause I think that ship has already sailed."

"Just making sure."

"If we get married, he has to attend the wedding, I mean, after all you've done for him – he has to come. And Rory, well she has no other choice, she's my daughter. 16 hours of labor means she has no way out of it."

He sighs. "So your plan is to push them together in as small a space as possible, without being able to leave?"

"Yes. And if it doesn't work out the first time, well, then we'll have to get divorced and do it again, in an even smaller space. And again and again if necessary."

"As thrilled as I think your mother would be about _that_ idea, don't you think we should wait and see how their talk goes first? And besides, wouldn't it be nice if _I_ actually got to propose to _you_ this time?"

She pouts. "But what if their talk doesn't go well?"

"Then I'll guess I'll have to pop the question, rent a small boat with no life-saving equipment whatsoever and go along with whatever crazy plan you have in mind."

She smiles and leans over to kiss him.


	24. Run Rory, run

_Thanks for all your wonderful reviews - it's because of them I'm updating this quick, I wrote most part of this chapter today because I wanted to give you the next chapter as soon as possible and I knew I wouldn't have time until next week if I didn't write it today._

_So, here's to you wonderful readers! Back to present time and Rory knocking on Jess' door...picking up where we left off..._

* * *

Rory takes a deep breath, stretches her hand out and knocks on the door.

There's no answer. She waits a moment and then knocks again, harder this time.

"Hold on!" A female voice shouts from inside the apartment. A female voice. She shifts her weight from one foot to another. There was a woman in the apartment. Should she leave? She decides she probably should and just as she's about to turn around and head back down the stairs the door is opened.

As in shock she stares at the woman standing in the door way. Her long, dark hair falls in wet curls around her face as if she has just stepped out of the shower. In the silence between them she hears the water still running inside the apartment, affirming her that that was probably the case. She's wearing a pair of loose sweats and a tank top, probably something she threw on in a hurry as the knocking on the door interrupted her shower. She still looks amazing.

"Rory." The woman states in a calm voice and stares back at her, a smile lingering on her face.

How did this woman know who she was? Unable to think of a single word to say Rory forces herself to stop staring at the woman. Doing so her eyes finds their way into the apartment behind the woman and further through an open door facing the hallway displaying a bathroom where a dark-haired man wearing nothing but a white towel around his hips is toweling his hair dry. It's Jess.

She gasps for air and unknowingly takes a few steps back. She hadn't only interrupted the woman showering. She had interrupted the woman showering with Jess. She feels a thriving pain starting somewhere in her stomach and rapidly spreading towards her chest. She resists the urge to fall to the floor and let the pain get the best of her and instead turns around and starts running down the stairs.

"Shit!" She hears the woman exclaiming behind her back. She thinks she can also hear the woman calling her name and asking her to stop but she doesn't listen, she doesn't want to hear it. She just wants to get out of there.

As she rushes down the stairs she's met by two pairs of eyes, staring at her in confusion from behind the counter.

"Guys, stop her!" The woman is yelling from atop the stairs. The guys don't move an inch but instead stare at her dumbfounded as she quickly moves pass them and heads for the exit.

When she stops for a split second to open the door she hears the woman rushing down the stairs and swearing at the guys for their lack of action.

She gets the door open and leaps over the small set of steps and starts running again. She doesn't know where to run. She shoots a quick glance over her shoulder and sees the woman following her, running as well.

Her car is parked too close. She wouldn't have the time to unlock it, get in and start the engine before the woman would catch up with her. She runs passed her car and continues down the street, without knowing where it leads her. The only thing she can think of is to get away.

Why was the woman following her? How did she know who she was? What could she possibly have to say that was so important that she ran out on an almost naked Jess to chase his ex-girlfriend down the streets of Philadelphia?

She can't come up with any kind of explanation, but she knows she's sure as hell not stopping to find out.

Damn these shoes. Why did she have to wear heels today? Because she wanted to look good for Jess.

She darts into a smaller road on her right hand side. Damn Paris to get her hopes all high and to make her imagine seeing things in Jess' letter that obviously wasn't there.

She hears someone yelling her name from far behind her and turns into yet another crossing road and picks up her speed even though her heart is pounding in her chest. Why did she never work out? Because she never imagined she would need to run like this, ever.

'I have finally let go'. Jess' words echoes in her head. 'I have moved on'. So that's what moving on looked like. Moving on to someone else. He hadn't pretended to move on and secretly wanted her back. He had really moved on.

She casts another glance behind her back. The woman is nowhere to be seen. Maybe she lost her at that last crossroad? To make sure she turns into a small passage between two buildings before slowing down and forcing herself to take a few deep breaths to stop her heart from pounding so hard in her chest.

At the end of the small passage a park opens up. She walks into the park and looks around her. Still no sight of the woman. She lets out a deep breath and sits down on a bench overlooking the park.

She sinks her head into her hands and it's not until then, when she feels her hands getting wet from touching her face, that she realizes that she's been crying. She wipes the tears away.

What now? Should she turn around and go home again? Home to what? She has nothing left. No job, no boyfriend, no plan. Nothing. She bites back the tears that threaten to start falling again.

How could she have been so blind? She wishes she could turn back time and _not_ walk out of Truncheon and Jess. Not go back to Logan.

Now it was too late. She was too late. He had grown tired of waiting for her and moved on to someone else. She sighs and lets her head drop. She has never felt so lost ever before; so completely clueless of what to do.

She should sneak back to her car and go home. Home; where her mother and Luke would be waiting to know how her talk with Jess went.

She raises her head again, looks up at the sky and sighs. No point in delaying it. She should head home and admit her defeat.

Something in the right corner of her field of vision catches her attention and she stirs, ready to get up from the bench and flee again. She turns her head and sees the woman, running towards her.

Rory sighs. There's no use in running. Her car is still parked right outside Truncheon. She might as well face this now, since there's probably no way of leaving Philadelphia without facing this woman; she seems to be far too determined to talk to her.

The woman comes running up to her and when she reaches the bench she stops and bends her head down and places her hands on her knees and pants heavily. "Man, you're a fast runner." She says and looks up at Rory, smiling.

She takes a few seconds to catch her breath and then nods towards the seat on the bench next to Rory with a questioning look. Rory shrugs her shoulders as if to say 'whatever' and the woman seems to take it as invitation to sit down.

"I could never have guessed you were such a fast runner." She says, still out of breath. "You look so pretty and fragile, and in those heels…" She motions towards the shoes Rory had cursed while trying to get away. "Of course I lost you for a while, so I guess I've done a bit more running than you." She smiles and adds: "Not that it's a competition."

What did she want? Had she run after her to gloat? To rub her face in her past mistakes? To tell her to stay away from Jess?

"I'm Vanessa by the way." She says as she turns around on the bench to face her. "And I didn't come running after you to complement you on your running skills. Which would have made no sense at all if that was the case, since I didn't know about them until after I started running after you."

For probably the first time in her life Rory can understand why people at times get irritated at her constant ranting without ever coming to the actual point of the conversation. Why couldn't this woman, this Vanessa, just come out and tell her what she had to say?

Vanessa looks at her for a long time and then smiles and shakes her head. "I told Jess you were coming. I knew you would."

Rory tries to keep her facial expressions to a minimum as she meets the woman's eyes. Had Jess told her about the book?

"Look, I know what it probably looked like at the apartment, with Jess in the shower and me opening the door like that, but whatever you think you saw; you didn't."

"I saw Jess getting out of the shower." Rory says quietly, almost to herself.

"Well, that part was right, but…"

Rory interrupts her. "And I saw you, fresh out of the shower, opening the door at your boyfriend's apartment."

"Technically, that part wasn't wrong, but I…"

Rory stands up, agitated now. Angry at the woman for not leaving her alone, angry at Jess for sending her that book and making her realize what a mistake she was making, but most of all angry with herself for getting her hopes all high and thinking Jess would be here waiting for her with arms wide open.

Not allowing the other woman to finish her sentence, she interrupts her again. "What I don't get…" She says and turns towards Vanessa, who has gotten up as well and is standing next to her. "…is why you felt you had to chase after _me_, your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, like that. Was it to gloat? To tell me how happy you are? To tell me to stay away? 'Cause really, I came here because I thought he wanted me to, and now that I see he's with you and clearly I was mistaken, I'm going home again, and I won't bother neither of you ever again." With that said she turns around and starts walking away.

"Wait…" Vanessa grabs Rory's arm to stop her and force her to turn around again. "…I think we're getting our wires crossed here. I'm _not_ dating Jess, I'm not sleeping with him, I'm not showering with him – nothing of the sorts, at all."

A confused look appears on Rory's face. "But you said…and I saw…"

Vanessa shakes her head. "Yeah, I know, I know. Listen: I had taken a shower, yes. Then _I_ got out and _Jess_ got in, after me. Not with me, after me. When I was done." She looks at Rory to make sure she's following her, before continuing. "And I _was_ opening the door at my boyfriend's apartment – my boyfriend Matt. Not Jess, Matt, Jess' roommate, that I have been dating for a year."

Rory looks at Vanessa with disbelief in her eyes and she continues. "I understand it looked…weird…with the bathroom door open, and him…undressed…like that…but really, I was on the couch, and we were talking, through the open door, while he was showering. Talking about you actually." She smiles.

"Me?" Rory still looks confused. She feels like she's on an emotional roller-coaster without knowing where it ends. There's too much confusion, and to much information to process.

"Yeah. About the book he sent you, and the letter, and the…" She stops herself. "…you know what? You better talk to him yourself, this is your thing – the story you'll tell your grandchildren, if you have any, when they ask how you got together." She hesitates while giving Rory an examining look. "That's why you're here, right? Because you want to be with him?"

Rory nods, not knowing what to say.

Vanessa nods in return. "Good. But be careful, he loves you, but he's afraid you'll break his heart."

Rory darts her head up. "He…he told you that?" She can't explain the feeling of jealousy rushing through her body. Jess never talked about his feelings, if he did with this woman… Did they have a connection that he and Rory didn't?

"No." The woman shakes her head, laughing. "Or, well, he told me he loves you, but the rest I figured out on my own." Rory gives her a questioning look and she continues, explaining. "Sometimes I pry too much, I don't let things go, and when he gets all mad and shouts at me to get the hell out, I know I hit a sore spot. You are a sore spot."

"So…" Rory starts. "So, you and Jess aren't…I mean you didn't…" She trails off, hoping Vanessa will understand where she's getting at.

"No." Vanessa shakes her head again. "No. We went on two dates, like ages ago, but then he told me he wasn't over you. Or rather…I pried and I found out."

Rory smiles. "He told you to get the hell out?"

Vanessa laughs. "We didn't know each other that well, but I'm thinking he probably wanted to."

"Look…" She says as she starts walking and motions for Rory to follow her. "It was pretty obvious Jess was still head over heels for you, although he kept denying it, said you had made your choice and that he needed to move on. A girl would be crazy to place herself in the middle of that, it's like asking to have your heart broken."

* * *

_A/N: So, I noticed a lot of you didn't like what happened in chapter 22, when Vanessa showed up at Jess' place. Here's the continuation of what happened when we left them…_

* * *

**OoOoOo - About 1 year and 8 months ago - OoOoOo**

With a desperate glance in his eyes Jess starts trailing kisses down Vanessa's neck until he reaches the soft lace of her bra. He then pulls her head down towards his and finds her mouth again. She presses herself against him and he moans and rolls her over, pinning her body between his body and the bed.

His hand is slowly sliding down her stomach and when it reaches the hem of her jeans he starts unbuttoning them. Vanessa places her hands on his chest and pushes him back, forcing their lips to part and takes a deep breath. With a questioning look on his face Jess stops all movements and looks down at her.

She takes another deep breath, trying to regain a normal breathing rhythm. "That's not why I came here Jess."

He rolls off her, looking at her as she sits up and starts buttoning her blouse. "I came here to tell you to not give up on this girl. Although, with all the kissing just now I can see how that point didn't quite come across." She looks at him and smiles. "You are a great kisser, even when your heart's not in it, you know that?"

He shrugs his shoulder with a surly look on his face. "How do you know my heart's not in it?"

She rolls her eyes. "Come on Jess, don't pull that crap on me. Don't try to tell me that she's not the only girl on your mind and that you were thinking about _me_ when we were kissing only so you can have a warm body next to you for a few nights before I figure out it's all bullshit and that she really_ is_ the only girl on your mind. I came here 'cause I want to be your friend, if a warm body is all you're looking for, you'll have to keep looking, 'cause I tend to think higher than that of myself."

He doesn't say anything and she gets out of the bed. He watches her in silence as she starts arranging her clothes, making sure everything is in order. She takes a quick look in the mirror, hanging on the wall next to the bed and runs her fingers through her hair a few times before heading towards the door of the bedroom.

"You remind me of her." He says, making her stop in the door way. He hadn't meant to say it, but it was true. She reminded him of Rory. She was not Rory, she could never be, but she reminded him of her. It was the worst start possible for a relationship, but maybe not for a friendship?

Maybe a friend was what he needed, 'cause she was right, he might be able to fool some girl, and maybe even himself, that he didn't still love Rory or that she was all he ever thought about – but in the long run, that wouldn't be fair, to anyone.


	25. A few plane crashes was all it took

_I had real problems writing this chapter, as I needed both Rory and Jess to be more prone to talk about their feelings than they ever were in the series. I'm not 100% pleased with how the chapter turned out, but this is like the thrillionth re-write and I'm a very impatient writer, but I hope they aren't too much out of character. I'm thinking both of them have matured since they were dating…_

_Please let me know what you think!_

* * *

"What the hell is going on here?" Matt bursts out the moment Rory and Vanessa steps through the door at Truncheon.

"We're practicing our running skills?" Vanessa suggests and looks around the room. "Where's Jess?"

Matt nods towards the stairs. "Getting dressed. He came down here after you…ran…wearing nothing but a towel. What's going on?"

Vanessa turns to Rory, who's been standing behind her trying to keep a low profile, and nods in the direction of the stairs before she turns again and starts walking towards Matt. "Honey, it's really sweet that you're acting all jealous and stuff…" She strokes his cheek with her hand. "…but this is not the time or the place."

"I wasn't jealous." Matt says and straightens himself up.

Vanessa wraps her arms around him and starts saying something but her words are drowned by Chris' voice as he spots Rory heading up the stairs.

"Where's she going?" Chris says with his eyes focused on Rory.

Rory freezes in the middle of the stair, not knowing whether to respond or to simply keep climbing the stairs.

Vanessa lets go of Matt and takes a step towards the stair, as if to protect Rory. "To see Jess."

"Why?" He snorts. "Was she disappointed that he wasn't the one that came running after her? Is she back for a do-over? " He turns to Rory with a sarcastic smile on his face. "Or did you forget something in the car?"

"Shut up, Chris." Vanessa says in a harsh voice and takes a few steps up the stairs to a very nervous-looking Rory. "They don't know." She whispers. "About the book. They're looking out for him, because they don't know why you're here."

"Should I tell them?" She whispers back. She's anxious to go see Jess, but she doesn't like knowing that his friends doesn't like her and doesn't want her there.

Vanessa shakes her head. "Not now. I'll deal with them, keep them occupied. Take all the time you need." She smiles and squeezes Rory's hand. "Go talk to him."

Rory takes a deep breath and continues up the stairs. She stops outside the door. He wants you here, she tells herself. He wrote the book because he wants to be with you. She takes another deep breath and knocks on Jess' door for the second time that day.

* * *

Jess hears the knock on the door and immediately goes to answer it. He forces himself to be calm, to find out why she's here before getting his hopes up. She could might as well have come here to yell at him for sending her that book and ruining her wedding.

He opens the door and has to struggle to keep himself from smiling when met with her smiling face.

"Hi." She says.

"Hi." He answers. They look at each other in an awkward silence for a few moments before he gestures for her to come in.

She follows him into the kitchen, where he stops. Which room is the best place to have this conversation? The kitchen, sitting on each side of the table? No. He looks around. The living room, with the couch? No, that doesn't feel right either.

He sighs. Maybe right here, standing in the kitchen, is the best place. After all, it doesn't really matter where they talk – as long as they do it.

"So…" She says and bites her lip. He recognizes it as one of her nervous habits and can't hold back a smile. "I…"

"I didn't sleep with her." He blurts out before she has a chance to continue saying what she's about to say. Whatever her reason for coming here was; if she was here because she loved him or because she wanted to yell at him, she needed to know that.

"I know." She says and looks around the room, her eyes looking everywhere but at him. "She told me."

"Good." He says and then the silence falls between them again as neither of them says anything further.

"I read your book." She says after a few moments, breaking the silence.

He nods, unsure of what to say in response. Thank you? Did you like it? Did you come here because it reminded you that we belong together? Or did you come here to rip my heart out again? To tell me I'm wrong? I'm not wrong. You're just scared and that's okay – 'cause I am too.

He shakes his thoughts away and clears his throat and gives it his best effort to look indifferent. "I didn't ask you to come."

Her eyes immediately dart to meet his eyes, as if to measure the seriousness of his statement. He's sure he can feel his body trembling with nervousness, but he keeps his eyes fixated at hers and almost forgets to breathe while waiting for her response.

She smiles. "But you did." He doesn't answer, instead he takes a long look at her. She is so beautiful it hurts. And she's here. Here – in Philadelphia, in his apartment, standing only a few feet away.

But they've been here before. And that time he thought she was there because she wanted what he wanted. Because she wanted them – together. This time he has to be sure.

"Didn't you?" Her smile fades and a nervous feature takes its place. "Because your letter said that I could read your book when I'm old and gray, and that is a line from a poem."

A smile spreads across his face at her words and he takes a small step closer to her, but he still doesn't say anything. Maybe it's cruel of him to keep her going when she's already said what he needs to hear – that she is here for the right reason, but her nervous rambling is just one of the things about her that he has missed so much that when finally hearing one he can't bring himself to interrupt it.

"Well, it is not exactly a line, but similar enough to the actual poem not to be a coincidence, and Paris said there was no doubt that by alluding to that poem you wanted me to come."

He takes one more step and she seems to notice how close he's gotten, because she slows down her words and a faint smile finds its way to her mouth when she continues. "And Paris knows these thing – interpreting poems, 'cause that's the kind of things you learn in school, and Paris takes school very seriously."

With one last step he closes the gap between them. "Paris always struck me as an ambitious girl."

"She is, and she –." He interrupts her by placing one of his hands on the small of her back and drawing her closer while crashing his lips to hers.

She kisses him back and wraps her arms around his neck.

She's here. Finally, after all this time, she's here. There's a big smile plastered on his lips as he pulls back just an inch and rests his forehead against hers. "So you liked the book?" He asks and is rewarded with a wide smile from her.

"I loved it."

He feels a warm, soothing feeling somewhere in his stomach and pulls her even closer, hugging her tight.

"I'm glad."

She untangles from the embrace and places her hands on his shoulders and looks him in the eyes. "And I love you, Jess. I really do."

He smiles. "I love you too Rory, I always have."

She looks down at the floor and then back up at him again. "I'm sorry. For everything."

He smiles and shakes his head. "Don't be. We're here now, that's what's important."

She wraps her arms around his neck again and pulls his head closer and kisses him. He answers the kiss and deepens it. He had forgotten how wonderful it felt to kiss her. How everything else seemed to disappear and become less important as soon as he felt her soft lips against his.

They stand so for some time, neither of them willing to let go off the embrace or to let their lips part. He feels Rory's hands moving from his neck to his back, finding their way under his shirt.

Her hands feel cold against his back, but that doesn't seem to do anything to cool down the heat taking over his body as her hands investigates the muscles on his back.

Her hands travel down again, to the hem of his shirt and she starts tugging at it, motioning for him to take it off.

It takes a great deal of self-control to be able to pull back from her eager kisses and touches, but he has to. "Rory." He says as he pulls his head back.

"Mmm." She mumbles and lets her lips find his neck as a substitute for the disappearing mouth.

He moans and is about to give in when he finds that ounce of self-control that is still left and pushes her away at arm-length. "Rory. Do you want this?"

She looks confused by the interruption. "Would I be kissing you like that if I didn't? " She frowns. "Why? Don't you?"

He lets out a breath of air. "Oh, I want this. Believe me."

She bites her lip. "So, what's the problem?"

"It's the first time." She raises her eyebrows, looking very surprised and he hurries to add: "For us…the first time for us." He puts his hand on her cheek and strokes her lips with his thumb. "I just want you to be sure. Maybe you'd want a more romantic setting: rose petals, candles, music, something memorable…" He trails off when met with a big smile.

She turns her head against his hand and kisses his palm and shakes her head as in disbelief. "You wrote me a book Jess. I don't know how it could ever be more romantic or memorable than that."

He smirks. "Well, in that case."

* * *

"I don't get it." Rory lies with her head rested on Jess' chest, her fingers drawing circles next to her head. "Why did you write the letter like that? Why did you tell me not to come and then left the lines to the poem like that? Why didn't you just tell me to come?"

He strokes her hair absent-mindedly as he answers. "It might have been a long shot, but I figured if all your feelings for me was gone, if you truly loved Logan with _all_ your heart, you would focus on the 'I have moved on' part of the letter and see the book as a collection of memories and maybe stove the letter away in a box somewhere." He smiles and leans down and kisses her forehead. "In this case of scenario, both the book and the letter could have been counted for as a wedding gift…But, if you still loved me, you would read the letter again and again, and sooner or later you would make the connection."

She stops drawing circles with her fingers. "It wasn't me who made the connection. It was Paris. I should have made it, but I didn't."

"Hmm…maybe I was wrong then. Maybe Paris is the girl for me." She softly smacks her hand against his arm. He smiles and continues. "Or maybe, Paris didn't just recently cancel a fancy wedding and maybe her mind wasn't busy with trying to figure out what to tell people."

She gets up on her elbow and meets his eyes. "What if I had never found the connection? What if I hadn't showed Paris the letter?"

He smirks. "If you wanted to, you would have, sooner or later."

"How could you be so sure I wouldn't just take one look at the letter, accept what was in it and then spend the rest of my life crying myself to sleep at night?"

"Because you're Rory Gilmore. If you didn't like the contents of the letter you would keep reading it and analyzing it until you found an angle or an analysis that satisfied you."

"But what if I'd found an angle or an analysis that didn't encourage me to come?"

"I knew that if you loved me, you'd search until you found one saying just that." He leans over and kisses her. "Or, if there were none, sooner or later you'd come marching in here telling me what a jerk I am for moving on without you."

She sighs and looks down at the sheets, her fingers playing with a wrinkle on them. "I was just so preoccupied with the 'I have moved on' part of the letter. I thought I had lost you."

"Well, that was kind of my point." He reaches his hand out and cups her face with it, making her meet his eyes again. "If you truly loved Logan, the same way I love you; you hadn't felt that way. If he was the only guy in your heart you would probably have felt a relief, knowing I wasn't heartbroken, pining for you, sinking into depression and eventually following Hemingway's footsteps to the grave."

She wrinkles her forehead. "Wasn't it a plane crash that drove Hemingway into depression?"

He grins, he should have known she would call him on that. "Two." He hesitates, but then decides to share his thoughts. "And…not that I actually ever been in a plane crash, but your rejection at Truncheon that night…Kind of felt like my heart was in a plane crash."

"I know the feeling." He looks at her curiously and she shrugs. "Well, I got that same feeling after reading your letter." She looks at him closely and bites her lip for a few seconds before continuing. "Would you really never have contacted me again if I hadn't come?"

"I would like to think I could have lived by my words and let you have your happily ever after with Logan." He sighs. "But we still would have seen each other at occasions and I'm guessing that at any sign, real or imagined, that you weren't 100% happy; I would have done something."

She leans over him and kisses him and he wraps his arms around her and pulls her down on top of him. She laughs.

"Why didn't we ever do this in high school?" She says as she runs her fingers through his hair.

He starts to smirk, but the smirk is turned into a moan when her lips find that special spot right beneath his ear. "Because your mother would have killed me?"

"Oh, that." Her lips slowly leave his skin and she gets up to face him and meets his eyes with a smile. "It might have been worth it."

He raises his eyebrows and smirks as he turns them both around in one swift move and pins her body down under his.

* * *

_I have a question to ask you. I have at least one more chapter planned after this, but then I'm not sure what to do with this story. I haven't really planned any further than this. What do you think? Should I leave it like this, where they're happy and finally together, or do you want more?  
If you want more – what is it you want? Fluffy and romantic stuff? Complications and bumps in the road? A little bit of everything?_


	26. Voila!

_Thanks for all you reviews! I try to answer each and every one personally, but if I missed someone (which I'm sure I probably did), and to those of you that reviewed anonymously: THANK YOU!_

_This is a rather short chapter, but there'll be another one after this. I'm still thinking about what to do with this story and I'll tell you as soon as I've decided! Enjoy!_

* * *

Jess lies on his side, face-to-face with Rory, their fingers intertwined. "What are you thinking about?" He says as he can sense from the distrait way her fingers strokes his that her mind is elsewhere.

She shakes her head and looks up at him. "I'm just thinking that now your book isn't true anymore."

He smiles. "Why do you say that?"

"Because now the old man in the book – the older version of you – won't be all alone at his old age, will he?"

A warm feeling spreads through his body at her words and he lets go of her hand and pulls her closer to him and kisses her forehead. "I guess not."

She wraps her arm around him and snuggles her head against his neck. "So…there'll be a sequel?"

"Nah." He pulls back a few inches and softly strokes his lips against hers. "Love stories isn't really my thing."

She gets up on her elbow and looks at him with disbelief. "But you just wrote one, and it was a great one. And I'm not just saying that because you wrote it about me, to me. I'm saying that because it really was a great book and you are a great writer." She sits up and wraps the sheets around her. "Maybe you don't have to write a sequel, but writing just one book in that genre, when you're obviously so good at it? I mean it will confuse your fans. They'll be like: Hey, why are you teasing us like that? We know you can do it."

He smirks and interrupts her. "My fans?"

"Yeah, your fans. The one's that will hate me, the girl that caused the old man to live his life all alone and without love."

He sits up as well and wraps his arms around her. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but writers, especially ones that have only really published one book, don't really have fans. That's why most kids dream about being rock stars and not writers."

He hesitates for a few seconds before continuing. "If you don't want me to publish it, I don't have to. I mean, it's not liked it been approved for publishing yet, it's only me and Vanessa that have read it, and we only made that one copy that I sent to you."

"You would do that? You would let his book, that you have spent all this time writing, just be unpublished if that's what I wanted? This great book that would probably help your carrier as a writer move forward with big – no, huge – steps, you would not publish it if I said so?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah. I wrote it for you. If you don't want anyone else to read it – than that's it. And you wouldn't have to worry about repercussions from my fans." He smirks.

She looks astounded. "You really did write that book just to get me back?"

"I had to get your attention somehow, right? It was obvious my stunning looks weren't doing it for you anymore."

Her eyes are filled with sadness as she meets his eyes. "Your stunning looks have always been doing it for me Jess, you know that, it's just…."

"Your vision was blocked." He smiles and strokes her cheek, trying to wipe the sad look away from her face. "The guy's a millionaire and I'm a starving writer. He could buy you all the books in the world. I'd have to find the one book he couldn't buy you, I had to write it."

She rubs her face with her hands and there's a smile on her face when she takes her hands away. "When…I mean when did you have time to write it? You're working at Truncheon, you're still doing that, right? And it was a thick book, and everything was in it, our whole history together, it must have taken a lot of time."

"Well, I actually started writing it years ago. When I left for California. By then it was nothing but a bunch of scrabbles, just a way for me to deal with my emotions." He shrugs his shoulders again. "Then I started putting the scrabbles together and eventually: Voila! A book."

"Voila?" She giggles. "Voila?"

He rolls his eyes. "Oh, shut up."

She keeps giggling as she lies back down and pulls him down next to her. "Since your job is just as easy as: 'voila!' and I'm currently unemployed we could just stay in bed all day long, every day."

He smirks and kisses her. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

She smiles and nods. "I very much would."

He opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. He sighs and shouts in the direction of the door. "What?"

"Uhm…I'm sorry to…interrupt." It's Matt's voice. "But…eh…Vanessa and I have these reservations at this restaurant tonight…and she – eh – we, were wondering if maybe we should call and see if…uhm, if they could reserve a…bigger table…for the five of us."

Jess looks at Rory with a questioning look on his face. She bites her lips and hesitates before nodding.

"I mean, we totally get it if you guys want to be alone and all…I just, we just thought I should ask."

"When?" Jess asks back.

"At five. That's in three hours from now."

"Sure. It sounds great."

"Good. Great. I-I'll go make that call then. And, eh, it was – eh – nice meeting you Rory."

"Yeah. Nice meeting you to." She answers in a low voice.

They hear the sound of Matt's footsteps moving away from the door and Rory gets up from the bed, still wrapped in the sheets and starts pacing around the room, looking for her clothes.

Jess watches her with an amused look on his face. "What are you doing?"

"I have nothing to wear. I didn't bring clothes for going out. I have to find a store and buy a dress. And shoes! I need shoes. And I have to take a shower." She takes a quick glance in the mirror as she paces by. "Look at my hair! I have to wash my hair. It's all messy, they'll know what we've been doing. I have to wash it. And brush it. Maybe brush it first, then wash it and then brush it again."

Jess gets up from the bed and wraps his arms around her, still with a smile on his lips. "What's up with the freak out? It just the guys and Vanessa, I don't think they're expecting you to dress up like for the Oscar's." He kisses her neck right beneath her ear and whispers. "Besides, we've been up here, in my bedroom, for quite some time, I think they know what we've been doing."

Rory's cheeks turn red and she frees herself from his embrace. "I just want them to like me."

He bends down and picks up her bra from the floor and hands it to her with a smile. "They will. Trust me. Everybody likes you."

"No. Everybody doesn't. There was this ballerina at Yale – she didn't like me. Not the least bit. She wrote on my door. 'Die jerk' she wrote. She didn't like me. And in second grade there was this girl that had just moved to Stars Hollow with her family, and on her first day I accidentally splashed muddy water all over her shoes when I biked by her on my way to school – she never forgave me. She didn't like me either. And Matt and Chris – I met them downstairs. I overheard them talking. They don't like me either. They think I'm a bitch. And Paris. Paris didn't like me at first. She spent years at Chilton trying to make my life miserable because she really didn't like me. But then we became friends, and now we're great friends, best friends almost. And maybe Chris and Matt will like me to, but it'll take time and I have work for it. I have to…

"So, you met Matt and Chris downstairs?" He interrupts her rambling, focusing on what he feels is the most vital point of it.

She stops pacing and looks down at the floor. "Yeah. They…they were kind of rude. And I understand them, I mean I know what I must look like to them…after last time we met. But I'm going to try and I'm going to make them like me. No matter if it takes years." She looks up at him with a desperate glance in her eyes. "Oh my God! What if it takes years for them to start liking me?"

He wraps his arms around her again. "Well, I didn't quite tell them about sending you the letter, or the book. The only memory they have of you is probably contaminated with the state they found me in after you left. They don't know the whole story. We have both hurt each other, but they don't know that. They're just…being protective I guess."

Rory rests her head against Jess' shoulder. "That's nice." She says after a while, breaking the silence.

He sounds confused when he answers. "What is?"

She lifts her head and looks up at him. "That you have friends."

Jess doesn't answer, instead he raises his eyebrows and looks at her, and she hurriedly continues to make her point clear. "I mean, you never really did make any friends in Stars Hollow…besides me…and Luke, and he's a relative so he doesn't really count. It's nice. I like that they are protective of you. I like that you have people in your life that cares about you. Other than me and Luke. People here, in Philadelphia, where you live. Friends."

* * *

"Rory?" Lorelai answers on the other end of the line and before giving Rory a chance to answer she continues talking in a rapid voice. "Please tell me your talk with Jess went well. Are you together? Have you solved everything? Because you are my only daughter and I would do anything for you, I would sacrifice anything to make you happy. But Luke asked me, and he did it because he didn't want to wait 'cause in case things didn't go well in Philadelphia he didn't want me thinking he asked because of my plan and I love you more than anything but I would really want to not get married on a small boat far out at sea."

"What?" Rory fits the word in as her mother stops for a second to take a breath.

"First…" Lorelai says and takes another deep breath, as to calm herself down. "How did things go with Jess?"

Rory sounds confused when she answers; still processing the information at the beginning of the phone call. "It went good. He's taking a shower now, we're going out to dinner with his friends tonight. He told me he loved me and that he really wrote the book to…" The realization of what her mother said when answering hits her and she interrupts herself. "Luke asked you? You mean asked you _the_ question?"

She can almost hear her mother smiling on the other end of the line. "Yes. Yes he did. He even got down on one knee. Can you imagine that?"

Rory's stunned. "Wow."

"Yeah."


	27. What if

_So, I've finally made a decision about where to go with this story. Thanks to all of you reviewers that helped me reach this decision. _

_I'm going to keep writing this story until it reaches some kind of closure (maybe all issues won't be solved, but most of them will) and then I'll start a sequel story, where those of you that wants to keep reading can do so and those of you who thinks this story should end here can chose not to read it._

_That way this story will be about how they find their way back to each other and the sequel will be more of a fluffy, romantic story about life after they've found each other. (I'm planning on designating at least one chapter in the sequel to a certain wedding I'm sure we're all looking forward to…)_

_Before letting you move on to reading the story I just want to give you a heads-up that starting Monday my updating will be rather slow the next couple of weeks as I will have a lot of other things going on. But I'll try to update all my stories before this weekend is over and hopefully the slow updating rate-period won't last more than a few weeks!_

* * *

"He proposed!" Rory shouts when Jess opens the bathroom door.

He stirs and looks at her, startled. "Yeez, Rory – you scared me half to death."

She smiles and laughs. "Come on, a big, tough guy like you? I thought nothing scared you."

He smirks. "People jumping out from behind doors, shouting, in my apartment…that tends to make me a bit jumpy."

"But did you hear? He proposed!"

"Who?" Jess asks with a cautious look on his face. The chills running through his body had nothing to do with the cold air surrounding his warm body.

"Luke!" She says in a tone suggesting he should know that already. "He asked my mom to marry him."

"Huh" He says and wraps the towel around his hips tighter. Of course it was Luke. She left Logan the day before her wedding, he had already proposed and she still left him. There was no romantic gesture that would get her to go back to Logan again; she was here to stay, with him.

"Isn't it amazing!" She exclaimed, almost jumping up and down from excitement. "Everything's falling into place: mom and Luke, you and me. Everything."

"Yeah." A smirk spread across his face as he started walking towards his room. "You do realize that makes us related, right? We will we be…cousins or something like that."

"I hadn't thought about that." She bites her lip. "Do you still want to be with me?"

He laughs and walks towards her, wrapping his arms around her. "Are you insane? There's nothing in this world that would make me not want to be with you, especially not your mother's choice of husband."

"Really?"

He nods, reassuringly. "Really."

A faint smile spreads across Rory's face. "What if my mother married your father, would you still want to be with me?"

He lets out a laugh. "Creepy thought, but yes, I would."

Her smile grows bigger. "What if she married Kirk and made you sit through family dinners with him at the head of the table, would you still want to be with me?"

"Yes." He answers without even blinking.

She narrows her eyes and looks at him. "What if she made you sit next to cat-Kirk at the table and help him cut his food?"

"Cat-Kirk?" He laughs and shakes his head. "Doesn't matter. Yes, I would. And you don't need to come up with another 'what if', because the answer would be yes, to that too. Hell, she could marry Taylor if she wanted to, I'd still want to be with you."

"Even if, when he got older, they would want to live with us so we could help her take care of him? Seeing as he is older than her she would probably need that."

"Even then."

"Wow. You really do love me, huh?"

"You have no idea Gilmore."

She smiles and places a soft kiss on his lips. "I think I do."

"Come on" He says and starts leading them towards his room, with his arm still wrapped around her. "Let's get ready for dinner, and in no time, I'm sure my friends will love you almost as much as I do."

"I hope so." She says and bites her lower lip. "I really hope so."

"Don't worry" He says and kisses her forehead as he lets go of her and starts looking for his clothes.

While he gets dressed Rory examines her appearance in the mirror. A pair of jeans and a plain red sweater. Why didn't she at least bring a dress?

What if they don't like her? What if she can't get along with Jess' friends? _There's nothing in this world that would make me not want to be with you_. What if your friends hate me? What if they think I'm a bitch?

She sighs and looks at Jess who's buttoning the black shirt he just put on. She opens her mouth to voice her concerns but is interrupted by Matt, appearing at the door.

"Are you ready? We're picking Vanessa up on our way to the restaurant."

"Yeah, almost" Jess replies while moving towards the mirror to fix his hair.

"Meet you at the car in five?"

"We'll be there"

"Great" Matt smiles at them both before turning around and leaving the room.

With a forced smile on her lips, Rory meets Jess' eyes in the mirror. She can't remember when she ever felt this nervous before.

"Hey" Jess turns towards her and grabs her hand. "Don't worry. Just be yourself and everything will be fine."

She smiles back at him and nods.

* * *

When seated at their table, Rory takes the time to look around the restaurant. It's a small, intimate place with a few tables on one end of the room and a bar stretching along the other end.

She turns her attention back to Jess and his friends at the table. "This looks like a nice place."

"Yeah, it is." Vanessa nods and smiles. "This is where Matt and I went on our first date."

"Yep…" Matt nods and looks around him with a proud smile on his face, when done looking around his eyes lands at Jess and he continues with a smile. "Guess I'm much better at picking first date restaurants than you are Jess."

Vanessa laughs. "Yeah, 'cause that's the reason I'm with you – because you picked the perfect first date restaurant. Nothing else."

"What else could there be?" Jess mocks.

"You, know…" Matt says and lays his arms around Vanessa's shoulders. "…if I had been in the bookstore when she walked in, she would probably never have gone out with you in the first place."

"Really?" Jess rolls his eyes.

"Come on now guys, no need to fight. There's enough love here for everyone." Vanessa patted at the right side of her chest, as if to point to her heart.

"Yeah…" Matt says, dragging out the word. "I'm surprised you haven't shared your love with Chris yet"

"That you know of…" Chris says and is rewarded with a punch on the shoulder from Matt.

"I'm sorry Chris, but my girl has got some standards."

"Really? So why is she with you?" Chris replies instantly, as if he'd known what was coming.

"Because Jess turned me down, I had to settle for something." Vanessa answers and kisses Matt on the cheek.

Rory looks from one person to the other with a confused look on her face. What was going on here?

"I'm sorry" Vanessa laughs and reaches her hand out across the table and touches Rory's hand. "We kind of always do this when we go out together…It's kind of a standing joke between the four of us, seeing as I got to know Matt from dating Jess." She grimaces. "Sorry, it probably wasn't appropriate."

"Don't worry, I don't mind."

"Yeah, why should she mind?" Chris says and scoffs. "It's not like she's been all alone pining away for Jess these last two years, is it?"

"Chris, please." Vanessa says in a tired voice.

He shrugs his shoulders.

Jess sighs. "Can't we at least try to act civil? It doesn't matter what she's been doing when we were apart. She's here now, and she's not going anywhere – and that's the only thing that's important."

Rory nods keenly. "That's true. I'm not going anywhere. This time I'm not leaving." She sends a nervous smile in Chris' direction.

He turns towards Rory and leans forward in her direction as he speaks. "You think you can break his heart and crush him like he's some dirt stuck under the designer shoe that your rich boyfriend, or wait – is it ex-boyfriend now? – bought for you, then wait for over two years – until he's _finally _starting to get his life back together and then come waltzing back expecting everything to be sunshine and roses?" He shakes his head and turns to Jess. "I can't believe you're letting her do this to you. Again"

Rory bites her lips together and stares at her plate, trying to hold her tears back. "I'm not expecting anything." She says in a low voice.

Chris scoffs. "You're not? 'Cause I–."

"Chris" Jess says in a harsh voice, a warning clearly ringing through it.

"What?" Chris turns his head to face him. "I'm just saying what we're all thinking. I can't sit here and pretend I'm happy she's back, 'cause honestly – I think you'd be better off without her."

Jess grabs Rory's hand under the table, as if trying to reassure her that Chris is wrong. "You don't know the whole story." He says while fixating Chris' eyes with his.

"So fill me in." He turns to Rory. "The rich dude cheated on you again? Cut of your allowance? Tell me, I'm intrigued."

"I asked her to come here." Jess answers in her place.

"You asked her to come?" Chris repeats with a disbelieving look in his eyes.

"Yeah, I did. That book I've been writing on – it was for her. Because I love her, and no matter how much we've hurt each other in the past, that's right _each other_, 'cause I've been no angel myself throughout this story, I want to be with her."

"You wrote a book to get her to come back?" Matt says and looks across the table at Jess, who seems to be involved in some sort of staring contest with Chris.

"Yeah" He nods, not letting go of Chris' gaze.

"Did you know about this?" Matt turns to Vanessa, who also nods in response. "You knew?" He turns to Chris on his other side, who shakes his head with a stern look on his face. Matt looks at Jess, wrinkles his forehead and then turns to look at Vanessa again. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

Vanessa smiles in his direction. "Because you my dear can't keep a secret to save your life and you're way too impatient. Within two hours after delivering the book you'd be standing outside her bedroom window yelling and asking why she wasn't already on her way to Philadelphia, and that wasn't part of the plan."

Chris stands up, shaking his head. "I'm going to go grab a beer at the bar."

"Should we order for you?" Vanessa asks with a worried look on her face.

"Nah, don't think I'm staying for dinner." Chris says and walks away.

"The plan?" Matt asks, as if he has not noticed Chris' departure.

"I'll fill you in later" Vanessa says with a smile. "If that's okay with you, of course." She adds in Jess' direction.

"Sure" He answers, his eyes set on Chris making his way to the bar.

"Forget about him" Matt says and shrugs his shoulders. "He'll get over it."

"Yeah" Jess says. "I'm gonna go talk to him." He turns to Rory. "If that's okay with you?"

She nods, the uneasiness she feels over causing the situation they're in is clearly written all over her face.

"Go" Vanessa says and smiles towards Rory. "We'll take good care of her"

"Yeah" Matt turns to Rory with an eager look on his face. "I know I might look like a tough guy…"

Jess scoffs as he gets up from the table.

Matt shots him a glare and continues talking to Rory. "…but I'm a sucker for romantic stories, so tell me about the book."

* * *

Jess walks up to Chris, who's standing at the bar.

"Hey." Jess nods in Chris' direction before leaning over the bar, ordering a beer. When the beverage is handed to him he turns to Chris. "What's with the attitude?"

Chris turns to face Jess. "How can you know she's here to stay?"

"I can't." He shrugs his shoulders. "I just have to trust her when she says she will."

"Yeah" Chris shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "Trust"

Jess takes a sip of his beer. "There are no guarantees in love, you know that."

"I know. That's why I don't trust her."

"But I do." He stresses each word. "Cut her some slack. God knows I've done my part to mess our relationship up as well; this is us putting our past behind us and moving on."

"I know exactly how you're feeling…" Jess opens his mouth and Chris holds his hand up to stop Jess from interrupting him "…you're so glad she's back, you're willing to ignore everything that doesn't feel one hundred percent right and everything she's done to hurt you."

"Rory's no–"

"Rory's not Jennifer – that's what you're going to say, right? I know she's not. I'm just saying what I wish someone told me when Jennifer came back: be careful, keep your guard up."

"Chris, listen–"

"I think I'm heading home" Chris interrupts. "I'm not really in the mood for this."

Jess sighs and nods. "If that's what you want."

He scoffs. "Yeah, it is. This charade we're playing here is getting to be a little too much for me."

"You're out of line Chris, you're way out of line."

He shrugs his shoulders as he walks away. "Well, maybe someone has to be." He sighs and turns around. "Just be careful Jess, don't let your feelings sweep you of your feet until you're sure."

"I am sure."

"Whatever." Chris turns around again and heads for the exit.

* * *

"I can't believe he left" Matt says, staring from Jess; the deliverer of the news, to the empty seat at the end of the table.

"You know Chris, he's as stubborn as a goat." Vanessa shrugs her shoulders. "Give him some time and he'll warm up." She turns to Rory. "Don't let him get to you, as weird as it may sound; this isn't about you."

Rory nods and bites her lip.

"For whatever it's worth" Matt says and smiles, trying to ease up the atmosphere. "I don't need any warming up time." He shrugs his shoulders. "Jess likes you and he trusts you, that's all I need to know."

"Thank you." Her smile is honest and from the heart, it's good knowing that at least a majority of Jess' friends like her.

"So" Matt says and turns to Jess. "How come you told Vanessa about the book? I mean, I can live with the fact that you didn't tell me, but you're not the most open-hearted guy I've met, I'm surprised you told anyone."

Rory leaned slightly forward, eager to hear Jess' answer to this. It wasn't that she was jealous of Vanessa, she had made it very clear that she had no romantic interest in Jess whatsoever and Rory believed her.

But still… he had confided in her, and no matter how glad she was that he had friends that cared about him she couldn't help but feeling just the tiniest little sting of jealousy that the one friend he had decided to confide in was the one that also happened to be a girl.

"Well" Jess says. "You know Vanessa, she just wouldn't give up."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Matt says and laughs. "So, what _did_ you say?"He asks as he turns to Vanessa.

She shrugs her shoulders with a smile. "I sat him down, looked him in the eyes and I said: Jess Mariano, you really gonna let the girl of your dreams run away with some blonde dick-head in a Porsche without even as much as an attempt at getting her back? Well then sweetie, you only got yourself to blame." They all laugh, but Rory can't help feeling a bit bad for Logan being described like that. It wasn't his fault that she made the wrong decision last time she visited Philadelphia.

"Of course…" Vanessa continues. "…stubborn as he is, he muttered that it was none of my business and that Rory made her choice."

"Not that you ever listen." Jess adds with a crooked smile.

"No, I don't. I tend to care for my friends too much to watch them slowly destroy themselves before my eyes. So, anyway, I told him to shape himself up and go give Blondie a fight for his money. If he fought for you and lost, well, then I could at least feel sympathy while he moped around all heart-broken. And besides, it was rather hard wanting be all lovey-dovey with Matt – we had just started dating – while he was walking around like love was the worst thing that could ever happen to a person."

"I'm glad he listened to you" Rory says and smiles. "I'm glad you were here to tell him to go fight."

"Oh, he kept his stubborn 'I don't need your help, I can take care of myself' act up for some time, but eventually he caved in and initiated me in this plan he had already started working on, showed me the book."

"You wouldn't go away, what other choice did I have?"

"No, I didn't, 'cause that's not what friends do. Not that you didn't try to get me to leave though, you should have heard him this one time…" She stops herself and says in direction of Rory: "Sorry, am I boring you with all my talking?"

"No, not at all, in fact all this talking makes me feel right at home."

Vanessa smiles and turns towards Jess. "I like this girl."

"You'll like anyone who can stand to listen to you." Jess says in an attempt to sound bored and tired of her talking, but he can't quite hide the happiness he feels that at least one of his friends seems to have taken Rory straight to her heart.

"Now that's not true. Then I would never have become friends with you, would I?" Vanessa says in a teasing tone.

* * *

"So you guys wanna watch a movie or something?" Matt asks as they're walking from the car towards the apartment.

"Honey" Vanessa says and nudges him at the side. "They just reunited a few hours ago, I think they want to be alone."

Rory blushes fervently and Jess laughs. "Maybe another night?" He offers and wraps his arm around Rory's shoulders.

"Yeah, another night" Matt says and holds the door to the apartment building open to them.

Rory looks confused. "I thought you entered the apartment through Truncheon?"

"Well" Matt says and leans closer to Rory and lowers his voice as if he's about to tell her a secret. "This entrance is the secret entrance, kind of like at the bat cave, if a bad guy comes through the front door, we can escape through the back door and the bad guy won't know what happened."

Jess sighs. "Or…this entrance is simply closer to the parking lot and doesn't force us to go through the store."

"Why do you always have to be the Grinch?" Matt pouts.

"She's not five, I think she would have figured out on her own that we're not living in the bat cave."

"Yeah" Rory defends Jess. "I'm sorry, Matt" She says with a smile in his direction.

"Ah, well. It was a good try." Matt says, still holding the door open. "Are you coming?" he says to Rory, who hasn't stepped inside yet.

"You know what" She says, hesitating. "You guys go ahead, I just have to make a call."

"Are you okay?" Jess asks, with a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She smiles. "I just need to call home, tell them I'm okay."

"Okay. See you inside."

Rory nods and watches them enter the apartment building and disappear up the stairs before picking up her phone and dialing Paris' number.

"Hello" Paris answers almost immediately.

"Hey, it's Rory. Are you busy?"

"Amazingly: no. You'd think medical school would be hard, sifting out the wheat, but so far it's a walk in the park, any dummy with a semi-decent perception of reality could do this. This is the future doctor's of this country, the people that save lives; you'd think they'd want to single out the bad seeds before letting them operate on actual people, don't you?"

"Yeah" Rory answers, not quite knowing how to respond to Paris' rant she changes the subject. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot. I could use some brain stimulation, 'cause the study's certainly isn't offering that at this moment."

Rory hesitates, but then decides to dive head in. She needs some answers and the one person that could give them to her is Paris. "When we first met, you didn't like me. I mean at Chilton, you hated me almost, you couldn't stand me, right?"

"Are you calling to try and make me feel bad Gilmore?" She can hear Paris starting to get agitated. "'Cause in the years that have past I think I've made that up to you. In fact, after this last time with the letter and all, I think it's you that owe me."

"No, no." She tries to calm Paris down. "That's not why I'm calling. I just…I need to know what made you change your mind and want to be my friend."

"What?" Paris sounds surprised.

"How did you go from hating me to wanting to be my friend?"

"Where's this coming from?" Paris sounds suspicious.

"Jess' friend don't like me, I think you could even go as far as to say he hates me. And I'm not used to being hated; I don't know how to deal with it. I just need to know what I did that made you change your mind about me, that way I'll know how to make Chris like me. 'Cause I can't have one of Jess' best friends dislike me. That's not going to work. It'll be weird and he's finally having friends and I don't want to come in between and mess that up for him."

"Calm down." Paris demands. "This friend, are you sure he really doesn't like you, or is this simply an outburst of that compelling need you have to make everyone love you?"

"He called me a bitch" Rory answers in a soft voice.

"I've been called bitch more times than you can imagine, that doesn't mean people hate you." She hesitates for a second before continuing. "Well, in my case it mostly does, but that's a different story; I'm a pain in the ass – you're not."

"Well, apparently I'm a pain in his ass."

"Is he gay?" Paris asks, stunning Rory.

"What? No. No, at least I don't think so. Why do you ask that?"

"Because the reason I disliked you at Chilton was because you were a threat. Your grades were too good, you messed up the curve. I can't come up with any other reason for anyone disliking you that much – you're like a cute little kitten and a sad puppy all rolled into one."

"I don't think Chris is in love with Jess."

"You sure? We live in the 21th century, there's nothing unusual or wrong about a man loving another man."

"I'm pretty sure."

"Okay. Then I'm sorry, I can't help you. Unless you want me to come down there and kick his ass for you?"

"No, thanks Paris, but I don't think that'll be necessary."

"Okay, just let me know."

"I will. Thank you."

"Any time Gilmore."

Rory sighed and hung up the phone. Maybe there was no shortcut, she simply had to prove Chris wrong – show him that she was here to stay. Shouldn't it be enough that Jess knew that?


	28. The list

_I'm sorry for the delay in updating: but you can take comfort in the fact that this is the longest chapter so far!_

_A million thanks for all of your reviews, I highly appreciate them (and please keep them coming)_

* * *

_._

* * *

"Hey, sleepy-head" Rory hears Jess' voice next to her ear and without opening her eyes she reaches her hands out towards him to pull him closer.

She feels some sort of fabric where she expected to feel his skin and darts her eyes open. "Why are you dressed?" She asks with an accusing and disappointed tone in her voice.

He laughs. "I have this thing called work that I need to attend. It's quite cool actually, I go there, stay there for a few hours, try to look busy, and at the end of the month I get a pay-check"

She rolls her eyes. "I know what work is. But why didn't you wake me?"

"I am waking you now"

"But earlier, when you got up"

"You looked so peaceful, sleeping and drooling on your pillow"

"I wasn't drooling" She furrows her eyebrows. "Was I?"

He smirks and gives her a quick kiss on the lips and makes an attempt to get up from the bed, but Rory pulls him back. "It's not fair!" She exclaims.

"What isn't?" He asks, haven momentarily given up the attempt of getting out of bed and instead laying down next to her, resting on his elbow.

"That you got to wake up next to me and I didn't get to wake up next to you on our first morning back together"

He looks confused. "But I'm here"

"Yes. But you haven't recently woken up" She pouts.

"You're crazy, you know that?" He says before leaning over and kissing her again and then darting out of bed, faster this time and therefore actually succeeding. "I'm opening today, so I have to go. But I think there's coffee left in the kitchen and I made you pancakes for breakfast and left them on the counter for you"

"You made me pancakes?" A smile spreads across her face and replaces the pout.

"Hey, I know the way to a Gilmore's heart goes through her stomach"

"You're momentarily forgiven for not waking me up, but don't think you can get away with this every morning" She says as she sits up on the side of the bed.

"Point taken" Jess says and leans over for a quick kiss before heading towards the door. "There's books in the bookshelf, channels on the TV and internet on the computer and I'm right downstairs if you get bored, I should have some time off around lunch and then we can talk some more" He adds before leaving the room.

* * *

.

* * *

The kitchen is empty when Rory enters and there's a stack of pancakes sitting on a plate on one of the counters. She smiles and walks over to grab them and move them to the table. Before sitting down she investigates the cupboards over the counter, trying to figure out where the coffee mugs are stashed away.

She opens the middle one and smiles when she finds them on the first try. Not bad. She does a silly little victory dance before reaching out to grab one of the mugs.

She stirs and almost drops the mug when she hears someone entering the kitchen behind her. She turns around and is met by Chris' demeaning looks.

"Good morning" She says and smoothes her shirt out, suddenly feeling very self-conscious and uneasy, his words from last night still ringing in her ears.

"Morning" He nods in her direction but then quickly goes back to ignoring her and starting to wash his coffee mug.

Rory looks at his back, unsure of whether she should say something to him. Maybe she should try to explain why she's back. But her courage fails her and she turns to the coffee pot to fill up her mug.

Chris glances over as Rory pours the last drops of coffee into her mug, not even filling half the mug. "I'm sorry" He says with an innocent smile. "Guess I didn't make enough coffee."

Rory lifts the cup and takes a small sip from it, that way making the coffee last a little bit longer. "It's okay" She says and tries to smile at him. Why was this man making her so nervous?

He probably didn't do it on purpose. He probably just made the same amount of coffee he made each morning, not really thinking about her being there. He couldn't know that she liked to start her mornings with large amounts of caffeine – for all he knew she maybe didn't even like coffee.

Chris takes a quick look around, obviously pleased with learning that they were still alone in the kitchen, 'cause a smile is placed on his lips when he looks at her again. "I mean, I wasn't sure you'd still be around in the morning, wouldn't wanna have to throw the extra coffee out in case you were gone."

Before giving Rory a chance to answer he places his now clean mug in the dish rack and leaves the kitchen.

She sighs. Okay, so it wasn't an honest mistake.

* * *

.

* * *

With a determined look on her face Rory stares at the computer screen while her fingers flies across the keyboard, too focused to even notice someone entering the room behind her back.

"What are you doing?" She stirs when she hears Jess' voice and the warm breath on her neck as he leans down besides her.

She looks up at him with a smile on her lips and gives him a quick peck on the lips before returning to look at the screen. "I'm making a list"

"A list?" He asks and stands back up.

"Yeah. A list. It's this thing where you put things down in a specific order. Or not, there are unorganized lists as well. Then there is really no specific order, it's just a list, of things." She nods energetically while speaking and takes a big gulp of coffee from the mug beside her when done talking.

"I do know what a list is." He smirks.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course you do." She smiles and laughs at her own stupidity before turning back to her list.

"What kind of list are you making?"

"A list of things I need to do."

"Things you need to do, huh? Any chances that making out with your boyfriend on his lunch break is on that list?"

She shoots him a smile and then glances at her list. "Nope. Sorry."

He turns her swirling chair around to make her face him. "Then I'm not sure I like that list." He leans down towards her and finds her lips.

She pulls back from the kiss, still smiling. "Oh, but you should." She turns the chair around and directs her attention towards the computer again. "Look." She says and gestures towards the list on the screen. "It's a list to get my life in order." He turns to look at the screen as she starts reading things of the list out loud. "I need to get a job, some kind of job in the right direction towards becoming a journalist. I'm not picky, right now I would settle for bringing a real journalist coffee or running errands, as long as the coffee-bringing takes place at an actual newspaper." Jess nods and she takes that as her cue to continue. "And I need to get my things out of Logan's apartment and place them somewhere else. That's a separate thing on the list." She points to a line a bit further down. "Figure out living situation." She reads out loud. "You should have some say in that too. I mean, we should discuss it together, you and I." She looks up at him, but he doesn't seem to notice as his eyes are intently fixed on the screen. "I don't know if you'd want us living together right away, or if I should find my own place first, anyway it's on the list so I will bring it up to discussion some time in the next couple of days, so you should probably start thinking about– Hey!" She interrupts herself when Jess leans over her, reaching for the keyboard. "What are you doing?"

With a smirk on his lips, Jess ignores her protests and keeps writing. When he's done he stands up straight again and looks at her as she reads out loud the words he wrote on the top of her list. "1. Take a break from writing crazy list and make out with boyfriend on lunch break." She pouts and looks at him. "My list isn't crazy!"

"It is when it's keeping you from doing more important things."

She smiles at him, starting to give in. "This is important things."

"I know." He smirks. "And look: right here on top of the list: make out with boyfriend. You'd better obey the list."

"If you think being a smart-ass is going to save you from the consequences of mocking the list you're completely in the wrong here mister."

"I'm not mocking the list." He says with an innocent smile. "I'm saying you'd better get started on ticking things off of that list."

She rolls her eyes and stands up from the chair. "Aren't you supposed to have lunch on your lunch-break?"

"Nah" He shrugs his shoulders and puts his arms around her waist. "I'll grab something quick before going back, right now there are more urgent needs to take care of"

She grins. "Yeah, like what?"

"Well, for starters I really missed you today" He smirks and places a kiss on her lips.

"I've been up here the whole time" She says and wraps her arms around his neck.

"I know" He kisses her again. "But I've been downstairs"

She smiles, happiness running through her body. "You're too smart for your own good, you know that?"

He shrugs his shoulders and twirls them around and smoothly lays her down on the bed and places himself on top of her. "Let's get started on that list" He whispers into her ear as she laughs at his swift moves.

* * *

.

* * *

Rory stands behind the counter at Truncheon, deeply engulfed in a book when she's interrupted by Vanessa's appearance by her side.

"Hey" She says and leans forward to read the title of Rory's book. "_The Howl_" She reads out loud, looking confused at first, but then a smile spreads across her face. "It's _the_ book, right? The one that Jess stole from you?"

"Borrowed" Jess interjects without taking his eyes away from the book he's reading, standing in a similar position a bit down the counter.

"Whatever" Vanessa says and turns back to Rory."I love that you kept it all these years"

"Well, he severely diminished the second-hand value of the book when writing in it" She says in a mocking tone.

"You're so cute together" Vanessa states and is rewarded with a blush from Rory and a glare from Jess. "Anyways…" she laughs. "Have either of you seen my boyfriend? He told me to meet him here"

"He's in a meeting" Jess answers and nods towards the office/store room. "With Pixie" He adds and Vanessa smiles.

"Is Pixie here?"

"Yep" Jess answers before returning to his book.

"Oh, I love Pixie" Vanessa exclaims.

"Who's Pixie?" Rory asks confused.

Before Vanessa has the chance to answer Rory's question a girl in her early thirties opens the door to the office. Her long sandy blonde hair is covered with pink highlights, but somehow she manages to pull the look of without looking completely ridiculous. She's wearing a pair of worn-down jeans and pink tunic to match the stripes in her hair.

"That's Pixie" Vanessa whispers to Rory, who's looking at the woman, completely mesmerized.

"I'll take a look at your stuff and get back to you" Matt says, turned to the woman while accompanying her out of the office.

"No hurry sweetie" The woman smiles and then turns towards the counter. "Vanessa!" She says and rapidly walks up to them and throws her arms around Vanessa.

"I have to talk to Matt" Jess says as he leans closer to Rory. "I'll be right back" He continues before leaving.

"Hi Pixie" Vanessa says and hugs her back.

"Tell me you've changed your mind and started writing real stuff instead of working at that corrupted news-paper of yours" Pixie says and examines Vanessa's face as she steps out of the hug.

Vanessa rolls her eyes. "Sorry to disappoint you" She says with a smile.

"Ah, well" Pixie says and shrugs her shoulders. "I'm just saying it's a waste of talent"

"Have you met Rory?" Vanessa asks, knowing quite well that she hasn't.

"No" Pixie answers, shaking her head. "Who's Rory?"

"This is Rory" Vanessa gestures towards Rory by her side. "Rory – Pixie. Pixie – Rory" she introduces them.

"Hi" Rory smiles and reaches her hand out towards the woman, but is left standing with her hand unshaken in the air between them as the woman gasps when she sees her.

"Look at that face! The bone-structure! And those eyes!" Pixie takes a step back, closes her eyes and leans her head back. "Eyes as blue as the ocean and as vivid as the waves" She says as to herself. "No…no, that's not right." She shakes her head and looks back at Rory. "Your eyes shouldn't be described, they should be painted." She smiles and grabs Rory's shoulders. "Yes! Painted! Adam would love your eyes!"

"Adam?" Rory repeats, confused and just a tad bit scared of the woman in front of her.

"Her boyfriend" Vanessa whispers. "He's a painter."

"Oh." She says, still finding the woman a bit intimidating in all her craziness.

A ringing sound is heard and interrupts Pixie's examination of Rory's face for a few seconds. "Excuse me" Vanessa says and picks up her phone and walks away.

"I wonder whether your eyes would come to their right the most with studio lighting or whether it should be natural lighting" Pixie continues after the short interruption.

"Oh…I–I don't know really…" Rory says

"You know…" A voice is heard behind them as Chris descends the stairs and comes up to them. "…it might be a really good idea to let Adam paint you"

Rory smiles, thinking he's trying to make nice for this morning. Maybe he regretted what happened. Maybe he just didn't do well with mornings. Who did by the way.

Her hopes disappear as fast as they came when he continues with a smug smile on his lips. "That way Jess will have something to remember you by when you leave"

Pixie looks at her confused. "Are you leaving? When? 'Cause I think Adam's already working on something, but maybe he cou–"

"There's no rush Pixie." Rory says without taking her eyes off of Chris. "I'm not leaving. There'll be plenty of time for me to sit for a painting, no rush."

Chris scoffs and walks away. Pixie looks from Chris to Rory, sensing there's something in the air between them. "Oh, okay…"

* * *

.

* * *

Rory lies sprawled across Jess' bed, her head resting in his lap, trying to focus on the pages of the book. It seems to be an impossible task as her thoughts keeps going back to the encounters with Chris earlier in the day.

She had never known how to handle it when people didn't like her, but this was ridiculous. The guy had never even given her a chance.

"I was thinking you could talk to Vanessa, maybe she knows if there's an opening of some sort at her paper…" Jess suddenly says and interrupts her thoughts as wells as her tries to focus on the book. "…and even if there's not, I'm guessing she has some connections that you could probably use"

He tries to make his voice sound casual as he continues. "That is, if you want us to live in Philadelphia, you don't have to feel that we have to only because my work is here, if you don't want to live here we'll figure it out somehow. But if you do however, I say we go get your things from Logan as soon as possible, you probably won't be able to fit everything in the apartment, but maybe your mother has some place she can store them while you're living here. Living in the apartment would only be a temporary solution of course, as I think it would be a bit crowded if we all lived here at once and it would probably drive Chris crazy living in a crowded apartment with two couples." He stops and looks at Rory, who's know sitting up and looking at him with a wide smile on her lips. "What?"

"You're following the list." She says.

He rolls his eyes. "I'm being practical."

She nods and keeps smiling. "The list is practical."

"I'm just saying that these are things we need to figure out."

She nods again. "That's why they're on the list."

"I'm going back to reading now" He states and opens his book again. "What?" He asks after a while, noticing that Rory's still staring at him and smiling.

"I love you" She says and takes a deep breath. "I love you and I finally feel like everything in my life is starting to fall into place"

He smiles and pulls her closer. "I love you too."

* * *

.

* * *

"So, if it's okay with you guys, Rory's going to stay with us until we find a place of our own" Jess asks while they're all seated at the kitchen table, eating dinner.

"Of course" Matt answers immediately. "No problem"

"We don't have much room for any more stuff" Chris points out in a low voice.

"We were thinking we only bring the most necessary things and stash the rest at her mother's until we figure the living situation out" Jess replies and Chris only nods in response.

"I'm not that good with carrying things, but since we got together Matt has started actually working out in the gym instead of just using it as a pick-up place–" Vanessa starts.

"Hey!" Matt interjects and is rewarded with three sets of raised eyebrows. He rolls his eyes and gestures towards Vanessa "Continue…"

"As I was saying…" Vanessa continues. "…we'd love to help out if there's anything we could do. All three of us" When saying the last part she fixates Chris' eyes with hers and gives him a stern look.

"We'd be glad to help" He mutters and is rewarded with a short nod from Vanessa as she lets go of the eye contact.

Even though she knows Vanessa is only trying to help make things right by inviting Chris, Rory can't help but feel she rather do all this without his sarcastic comments and snarly remarks. "Thank you" She says quietly in Chris' direction.

* * *

.

* * *

"Hey mom" Rory says as she throws herself on the bed in Jess' room.

"Hey sweetie. Quick question: Paul Anka in a dog-tux carrying the rings in a little box on his back, weird and creepy or kind of cute?"

"Wedding-planning already?"

"Just throwing some ideas around. So…dog in tux, cute or creepy?"

"I think the main question here is: would you really risk leaving Paul Anka in charge of the rings? What if while walking down the aisle he sees someone wearing a watch, freaks and bolts out of there with the rings in a box on his back?"

"Hmm. Hadn't really thought that through. That would seriously mess up the ceremony"

"Yeah" Rory smiles. Her mother sounds so happy. "Anyway, I was calling to see if you were free this weekend? We're talking about going to get my stuff from Logan's place and storing them at your place until we figure out our living situation"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll make sure Luke's available to help out as well"

"Thanks"

"You could probably stay in the diner apartment, of course I need to clear it with Luke first, but I don't think there'll be any problems." There's a short pause before Lorelai continues. "Of course, you're more than welcome to stay at the house, but I'm thinking maybe you want some privacy and I think I would prefer that to. I'm not sure I would want to hear you and Jess, I mean after all that time apart it's bound to be loud."

"Mom!"

"I'm talking about your book-discussions of course. What did you think I was talking about?" Rory can practically hear the smile on her mother's lips. "You know, as thrilling as it is for the two of you, it's not that interesting for the rest of us to hear you debate for the hundredth time whether this author or that author makes you fall asleep faster"

Rory laughs. "Yeah, right. Your mind is always so innocent and pure, I forgot"

"Well, it's an honest mistake"

"Do you think you could…eh…maybe find a place for a few more over-the-night guests?"

"Yeah, sure. Why?"

"Jess' friends are coming with, to help with the move"

"Oh! That's great. I'll see what I can do!"

"Thanks" Rory feels a bit relieved. Her mother could probably help her deal with the Chris-situation. "Oh, and it's Hemingway by the way" She adds.

"Huh? Jess' friend is Hemingway? Thought he was dead. Oh!" Lorelai's tone changes from confused to ecstatic. "Is Jess having a sixth-sense thing going on? An I-see-dead-people kind of thing?"

Rory sighs. "No. I meant the author that – you know what? It doesn't matter. Me, Jess and three of his friends are coming, all of them alive, none of them Hemingway"

"You're leaving Hemingway in Philadelphia?" Lorelai sounds sad. "Won't he be mad?"

Rory smiles and shakes her head at her mother's joking. "No. I hear he has a date with Jane Austen, so I think he's good"

"Good. I'm glad he's found someone"

"Yeah, so… I guess I see you Friday then. I'm guessing there's no way either of us is getting out of Friday night dinner this week with everything that's been happening"

"No. I'm sorry kid, I think you'd need an actual doctor's note to get out of this one." Lorelai hesitates for a few seconds before continuing. "You're bringing Jess?"

"No" Rory states. She could only imagine the look on her grandmother's face if she showed up to dinner with a new boyfriend only a week after cancelling her wedding. "I think he should be spared"

"You're probably right. Oh!" Her mother exclaims. "You know what we should do?"

"Build a time machine, go back a year in time and don't tell grandma we'll keep coming to Friday night dinners even though all debts with them have been cleared?"

"That's a thought, but since I'm not really up on my time-machine-building skills, I have yet another idea"

"Let's hear it"

"We'll go to Friday night dinner and listen to my mother complain on how you just left one of Connecticut's most wanted bachelor's at the altar and then on Saturday, you all come to mine and Luke's engagement party at the Inn!"

"You're having an engagement party?" Rory asks. "Why didn't I know about this?"

"Because I just decided that we're having one." Lorelai states in a tone suggesting she should know that already. "This Saturday"

Rory laughs. "Okay"

"Oh, and you know what else?"

"What?"

"You could all stay at the Inn"

"Do you have room for that?"

"Sweetie, one of the perks of having your mother run her own Inn is that there's always room for you and your friends there"

"You sure?"

"I'm sure"

"Okay"

"Okay. So, see you Friday?"

"See you Friday" Rory hangs up the phone and sits up on the side of the bed. Her mother was happy with Luke and she was happy with Jess, and they were all meeting up in Stars Hollow in a couple of days. She smiles. If it weren't for Chris and his refusing to see that this thing with her and Jess was the real thing, life would be just about perfect right now. She sighs. Give it time, she tells herself.

* * *

.

* * *

"…and when we're done trying to fit all my stuff into the garage my mother invited us all to her engagement party" Rory says, recapping the decisions made during her phone call to Jess and his friends.

"This is the town in the book, right?" Vanessa says and smiles. "I've been wanting to see that town ever since I read about it. It sounds hysterical"

Rory nods. "At times it could be"

"At times?" Jess snorts. "All the time I would say"

"It isn't that bad" Rory says, trying to defend her beloved town.

"If I had been trusted to read the book, I could have been on your side and evened the odds, but obviously I wasn't…" Matt says and pouts.

"Oh, come on!" Vanessa says and kisses him on the cheek. "You'd probably love it anyway. There's this one guy named Taylor…"

Taylor! The rest of Vanessa's words are lost to Rory as she remembers what she overheard Taylor and some other townspeople talking about at Doose's. They would probably make all sorts of assumptions about her showing up there with Jess. No doubt would they blame him for everything and paint him out to be the bad guy.

"What is it?" Jess asks as he nudges her shoulder with a concerned look on his face.

"What?" she asks back, trying to mask her concerns with a smile.

"You look like you're a thousand miles away"

She tries to smile, but when met with Jess' questioning face she relents. "Can I talk to you in private for a sec?"

"Sure"

Matt and Vanessa are deeply engaged in a discussion about the various characters of Stars Hollow and Chris seems to have slipped away into his room, so Rory and Jess are able to step away into his bedroom without anyone really noticing.

"What's bothering you?" Jess asks as soon as she closes the door behind them.

"The thing is…you know the people in town tend to…care about what other people do?"

He scoffs. "Yeah, that's putting it mildly"

"Well, when I cancelled the wedding, there were a lot of speculations as to why, but I never really told anyone besides my mom…and I think she's only told Luke and Sookie…"

"So?"

"So…I don't want them all thinking you're some sort of home-wrecker or wedding-crasher or whatever"

"I don't care what they think"

"But I do. I don't want that. I don't want them thinking that this is just some…some, I don't know – prank – or whatever that you pulled"

"A prank?"

"You know what I mean. I don't want them thinking it's your fault that I cancelled the wedding"

"Isn't it?"

"No. I mean yes, but not like that. It wasn't a _fault_ per se either."

"More like a favor?" He smirks.

"I'm serious Jess! I don't want the town to bring out the tar and feather or their torches or whatever when I walk into town with you by my side"

"Don't worry" He says, still smirking.

"But I–"

"Sshh" He kisses her. "If I say I'll take care of it, will you trust me?"

"But ho–" He kisses her again and effectively interrupts her.

"Will you trust me?"

"Do I have a choice?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "You could come with a plan of your own?"

She smiles. "You have a plan?"

"Maybe"

* * *

.

* * *

"Maybe you should talk to Blondie as well, let him know that you're coming?" Vanessa says as she leans back against Matt's chest on the couch. "To try and avoid some of the unnecessary drama when you show up with no less than three guys to pack your things up?"

"Yeah, you're right." Rory bites her lower lip. "I probably should give him a heads up" She picks up her phone and holds in her hands. "Do you…do you mind if I…take this in private?"

Vanessa nods. "I think you should, for his sake"

Rory nods and looks at Jess, sitting next to her on the couch. He nods as well.

"Okay, so…" She stands up from the couch.

"You could go down to the store, it's no one there at this hour" Matt says and tilts his head in the direction of the door.

"Yeah. Thanks" She bends down towards Jess for a quick peck on the lips before leaving, but he pulls her in for a real kiss before letting her go. She smiles towards him before leaving the apartment.

* * *

.

* * *

Rory takes a deep breath and stares at her phone.

_Hi, Logan. Just so you know, I'm bringing my new boyfriend, you know the one I left you at the altar for and whose arms I told you I wouldn't jump into right away, and his three friends to pick up my things on Saturday. That's no problem, right?_

No…that probably wasn't the way to go. But how the hell did you this?

She sighs and starts dialing the number.

"Rory?" Logan answers almost immediately.

"Yeah, hi" She says, not knowing what else to say. She should have practiced this before calling.

"Hi" His voice sounds so sad, so broken. "So…how are you?"

"I'm fine" She answers without thinking. I'm fine? That's a horrible thing to say to the guy whose heart she just broke. "I mean, I'm…I– "

"I'm glad" He interrupts, not without bitterness.

"Logan…" She starts, but doesn't quite know how to continue. She wants to make him feel better, she never meant for him to hurt like this, but she doesn't know how to do it. She can't give him what he wants.

"So, what's on your mind? I'm quite busy, I don't really have time for this right now" His voice sounds hard and she can practically hear the hurt behind every word.

"I–I need to come pick my things up…I was wondering if it would be okay if I came by this weekend…and picked them up"

"Sure" He answers shortly.

"Okay"

"I'll probably be to hung-over to move in the morning, but if you make sure to come later in the day, I'll make sure to make myself disappear"

"You don't have to–"

"So it's not too painful for you to see me? I figured that was why you sent your mother to talk to me when you cancelled the wedding, or why I had to sit in the driveway in front of your mother's house for hours to get an explanation as to why my fiancée backed out of our wedding"

"Logan…" She pleads.

"Well, if it's not, then I'll guess I'll see you Saturday, bring some tacos, will ya? As I said I'll probably be hung-over" With that he hangs up the phone.

Rory buries her head in her hands. Why did people have to be hurt like this? Why couldn't everything just be easy and simple for once?

"Aww" She hears Chris' voice as he descends the stairs. "Did Richie Rich say something mean?" She looks up and sees him tilting his head towards her as if pretending to care. "Don't worry…" He continues as he makes his way towards the door. "…you have a group of fans upstairs that'll probably be fighting over who gets to comfort you" He smiles and nods his head goodbye before he opens the door and steps out.

That was it. She gets up from the stool she was seated in and heads for the door. "Hey!" She shouts as she opens the door and spots him standing on the street a few feet away with a lighted cigarette in his hand.

Chris' head darts up to see who the voice belongs to. When he sees Rory standing on the top of the stairs outside Truncheon he goes back to staring out into the street.

Rory walks up to him, now severely agitated by Chris' treatment of her and her own bad conscience for hurting Logan. "I don't know what your problem with me is, if it's something personal or if Paris was right, but either way: I'm not leaving this spot until you tell me what the problem is and how we're going to solve it!"


	29. Truce

_A/N: I'm late with updating again, I know, but this time I have a really god excuse: I had the chapter almost finished and was going to post it during the weekend when Winter Vomiting Disease decided to make a visit. I don't know if that's the correct term in English, but I think you get the picture anyways. _

_The upside is: I'm feeling pretty good, but as I might still be contagious they won't let me back at work for another 48 hours – and for that same reason none of my friends want to socialize with me. So, for the next 48 hours I'm gonna do my best to update as many of my stories as possible and also publish a oneshot that's already made-up in my head and only needs to be put on paper._

_Seeing as the last chapter ended in the middle of a conversation, I thought it would be wise to include a little recap in the beginning of this chapter, so you won't have to go back to see what the conversation was about. Enjoy!_

* * *

.

* * *

_Recap:_

_That was it. She gets up from the stool she was seated in and heads for the door. "Hey!" She shouts as she opens the door and spots him standing on the street a few feet away with a lighted cigarette in his hand. _

_Chris' head darts up to see who the voice belongs to. When he sees Rory standing on the top of the stairs outside Truncheon he goes back to staring out into the street. _

_Rory walks up to him, now severely agitated by Chris' treatment of her and her own bad conscience for hurting Logan. "I don't know what your problem with me is, if it's something personal or if Paris was right, but either way: I'm not leaving this spot until you tell me what the problem is and how we're going to solve it!"_

"Well then, looks like you have a long night on the streets ahead of you as I'm planning to head back in as soon as I'm done with this" Chris holds his cigarette up towards her as to clarify.

"I–I…" Rory's courage falters as she looks into Chris' smirking face. "Look…" she says in a tired voice. "…I don't know what your problem is, but it looks like we're going to be living together for some time, I'm not saying we have to become best friends…but can't we at least establish a truce of some kind?"

"A truce?" He asks, neither his face nor his voice revealing what his thoughts on the subject might be.

"Yeah" Rory nods, getting some of her courage back when realizing he wasn't shooting her proposition down. "A truce"

Chris takes a long look at her and then sighs. "Sure"

"Okay" Rory looks down at her feet and then up at Chris again. "Okay" She repeats and gives him a half-hearted smile.

* * *

.

* * *

The sound of Jess' alarm clock going off forces Rory out of her dreams and into the real world. She grunts at the alarm and slowly opens her eyes. She feels the warmth from Jess' body against her back and the weight of his arm across her waist, even in his sleep he's holding her close. She smiles. Not even the annoying sound of the alarm clock could diminish the extent of happiness she feels from waking up like this; close to Jess.

Jess reaches over towards the nightstand and turns the alarm off before going back to his position behind her. He wraps his arm around her again and kisses the nape of her neck.

"Sorry for waking you up" He whispers, his voice still a bit hoarse from sleep.

Rory turns around to face him and strokes her hand softly along his jaw line. "It's okay" She says as she leans in to kiss him. A smile plays on her lips when she pulls back from the kiss. "I like waking up like this"

"Yeah" He leans forward to give her a drowsy kiss. "Me too" He lies down on his back and pulls her with him, landing her head on his chest. He strokes a few strands of hair behind her ears and pulls the covers tighter around them.

"I thought you didn't have to get to work until later today?" She asks as she watches her hand drawing circles on his chest, next to her head.

"I don't" He answers and leans down to press his lips at the top of her head. "But I have something else I need to do?"

"Like what?" She raises her head slightly.

"Oh, nothing" He answers, trying to sound casual. "I just have a favor I need to call in"

"Does this have something to do with your plan to get on the good side with the town?"

"Maybe" Rory can almost hear the smirk on his lips.

"Oh, it does!" She gets up from her position on his chest and looks at him with eager eyes. "What is it?"

"I told you I'll let you know when it's time" This time she can actually see the smirk on his lips.

"But, when is it time?" She asks and pouts. "We're leaving in two days"

"Guess you'll have to wait and see" He says and pulls her head down towards his and kisses her to make her questioning stop.

"But..." She protests, but he doesn't let her finish her protest before he presses his lips to hers again.

She pulls her head back with laughter shining through her eyes. "What if…" Jess shakes his head and with one swift move he turns them both around so that she lies on her back with his body hovering above her. He leans down to kiss her yet again, more passionate this time.

"Jess" She protests when he lets go of her lips and instead attacks her neck with kisses. "Jess" She whispers again a while later, her protest turned into a moan when his hands start traveling over her body, finding all the right places.

He smirks as he watches her body tremble when he touches her.

* * *

.

* * *

"I would ask you to join me in the shower, but I think that would make me seriously late for my meeting" Jess says as he leans over and kisses Rory's forehead before getting out of bed.

She smiles. "I don't think I could muster up the energy to even stand up"

He smirks. "You're inflating my ego, Gilmore"

She rolls over to her side and looks at him while biting her lower lip.

"What is it?" He asks, recognizing the gesture all too well.

"I…" Her cheeks turn red and she shifts her eyes' focus from him to the sheets in the bed. "You didn't let me return the favor" She says quickly without looking up from the sheets.

He smiles and leans down to kiss her again. "There'll be plenty of time for that later, and believe me when I say that I would be happy to do _that_ every day of my life without ever asking for anything in return"

She smiles back at him, the blush still making her cheeks red. "Besides…" He continues with a smirk on his lips as he stands back up. "…it was an effective way of stopping your interrogation, wasn't it?"

Rory snorts and throws a pillow in his direction. He laughs as he walks backwards towards the bathroom. "I think I smell coffee in the kitchen" He says and adds before closing the bathroom door behind him. "If you can muster up the energy that is"

Rory rolls over to lie on her back again and she can't help to let a giggle escape her throat. She can't remember the last time she felt this happy, this content with her life.

Being with Jess was everything she ever dreamed it would be. That – and more. It was so different from last time they dated. This wasn't two teenagers madly in love with each other. This was two mature, grown-up persons starting to build a life together.

Finally, after all this time, they were on the same page.

The smell of coffee coming from the kitchen reminds her of her other addiction. Yeah, that was probably the right way to put it. Jess had become an addiction to her. The more time she spent with him, the more time she wanted to spend with him.

She crawls out of bed and finds a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt on the floor and throws them on before exiting the room and walking towards the smell of coffee.

She hesitates shortly in the doorway when she sees Chris standing in the kitchen, suddenly reminded of what happened in the kitchen the morning before. But they had established a truce now, right? That meant he had to act civil towards her.

She swallows the lump in her throat and walks into the kitchen and greets him with a smile on her lips. He returns her greet with a short nod. At least that's better than mean words, Rory thinks as she walks up to him and the coffeemaker.

"Coffee?" Chris asks and holds a mug full of it out towards Rory as she approaches.

"Yeah" Rory says, looking rather confused. "Thanks" She takes the mug and resists the urge to sniff at its contents to see if it really is coffee. Maybe this truce thing was really working. She smiles tentatively at Chris, but he has already turned his back towards her and is heading out of the kitchen.

She takes her mug and sits down at the table, not knowing what to make out of what just happened.

* * *

.

* * *

Rory walks along one of the shelves in at Truncheon, running her finger along the spines of the books in it. She casts a glance at Jess, standing by the counter, engaged in a phone call with someone. She thinks it might be one of the printers the guys worked with, but she wasn't sure. She smiles to herself as she watches him.

It was amazing what he had done. How he had turned his life around and created all of this. Well, he hadn't done it on his own – but he was a part of it.

"You look annoyingly happy" Rory stirs as Vanessa comes up behind her with a smile on her lips.

"Yeah" She answers and tears her eyes away from Jess to look at Vanessa instead. "I think I am" She can't stop smiling. "It's…it's just so amazing, everything he's done"

Vanessa smiles as well. "Listen…" She says and puts her hand on Rory's arm. "Jess told me that you were looking for some kind of a reporting job"

"Yeah" Rory bites her lip. "I would like to work. I know you work at a newspaper, but I don't want to get any favors, I mean I would love to get a job, but I wouldn't want to get one only because I'm your friend. Not that I know if you would consider me a friend, but I mean–"

"Calm down" Vanessa laughs and interrupts her rant. "First of all: I would like to consider you as a friend. Second of all: There is a position opening up at the local department, one of the reporters is going on maternity leaf in two weeks from now. This is very last minute, seeing as she decided to keep her pregnancy a secret for as long as possible. I don't know what kind of influence you think I have, but I'm not in a position to give you the job, I am however in the position to tell my boss about you and maybe set up a meeting.

"Really?" Rory's face is beaming with happiness.

"It's nothing fancy, but at least you'll get to do some writing"

"I-I would love to get to do some actual writing"

"Great. I'll arrange the meeting sometime next week then" Vanessa smiles and with a quick look at her watch she adds: "I'm glad I got a chance to talk to you, but now I have to get back to work – my lunch breaks tends to get longer and longer each day and I don't think that's a good thing if I'm going to talk my boss into giving you the job"

Rory opens her mouth to protest, but Vanessa cuts her off before she has a chance. "Don't worry. I was joking. My boss wouldn't hire anyone if she didn't think they were qualified for the job"

"Thank you"

"Don't worry about it, and with your resume as the editor of the Yale Daily news, I think the job is as good as yours, if you want it" Vanessa says before she excuses herself again and leaves.

Rory looks back at Jess, standing behind the counter, still engaged in the phone call, and finds him looking at her, smiling. She smiles back at him and for the first time in a very long time she feels that her life is heading in the right direction.

* * *

.

* * *

"That's your plan? Are you sure?" Rory asks and locks eyes with Jess as she folds her pants and places them on a chair next to the bed.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah. I think it's the easiest way to do it. Why? Don't you think it's a good idea?"

"I think it's a great idea, I just wasn't sure you'd want that…"

"Well, if you're going to date the town princess it'd be a lot easier to have the town on your side." He smirks. "I've tried it the other way around, you know – and as much as I loved the 'bad boy' label I think it would be easier if I didn't have them rooting against me"

"Don't call me that"

He smirks. "Why? It's true"

"Yeah, no need to remind me…" She cringes at the memory. "Taylor actually crowned me, but I think that was queen and not princess"

"Did you get an actual crown?"

"Yeah, there was an actual crown, and Taylor had Kirk put up posters everywhere with my picture on it, naming me the 'Stars Hollow Ice Cream Queen'" She looks over at Jess, who's standing next to the bed with his eyes closed. "What are you doing?"

He opens his eyes and looks at her with a smirk. "I'm picturing it"

"Stop it!" She slaps his arm and he laughs and catches her hand and draws her closer.

"You're looking pretty damn hot in that crown" He wraps his arms around her and kisses her.

"I didn't! I never even wore the crown or the cape – did I tell you he rented a cape as well? He never even asked me if I wanted to be crowned queen, he just told me to wear a 'sage-colored floor-length dress' and he would take care of the rest. Then he–"

"No…" Jess interrupts her, mumbling against her neck, with his eyes closed again. "In my fantasy you're not wearing a floor-length dress. In fact…in my fantasy – there's nothing but the crown. Maybe the cape as well, but definitely no dress"

"Jess!" She laughs and slaps his chest.

"Sschh" He says and puts his index-finger across her lips. "That's not very queen-like" He covers her lips with his.

After a while Rory pulls back with a serious look on her face. "I love you Jess" She says as she strokes his cheek.

"I love you too" He answers with the same serious look on his face.

* * *

**Two days later**

* * *

"All packed and ready to go" Chris announces as he puts the last of the boxes in the trunk of the car.

Rory smiles towards him and he returns the smile. He had been acting very nice around her these last couple of days. It seemed as if this truce thing was really going to work. Although, at times it was very obvious that his smiles wasn't sincere or that the nice words coming out of his mouth were rather forced - but at least it was a start.

"Great, let's hit the road then" Vanessa says as she closes the trunk.

"Just a thought…" Matt asks as he looks from the trunk, crammed with boxes, to Jess and back again. "…with all those boxes, how are we going to fit any of Rory's stuff into the car when we're going back?"

"The boxes aren't coming back with us" Rory says and smiles. "They're part of Jess' plan"

"Jess' plan?" Matt looks intrigued. "Tell me about this plan"

"Get in the car and I'll tell you on the way" Rory says and smiles as she takes the front-seat next to Jess.

"Don't leave out the part where Taylor crowned you Ice-cream Queen" Jess says and smirks as he starts the engine up.

"Ice Cream Queen? That's a job I would like" Matt says with a smile.

"Oh, not with Taylor as the mayor, you wouldn't" Rory says and smiles back at him as the car starts rolling towards Stars Hollow.


	30. Chapter 30

_A/N: Thank you a million times for all the reviews I've been getting on this story. It makes me terribly happy to see the amount of people following, marking the story as favorite and reviewing! I love it and I hope you'll continue to review!_

_I just wanted to let you know that, counting this chapter, there are three chapters left on this story before we leave it and move on to the sequel (if anyone has a suggestion for a title for the sequel I would love to hear it as I suck when it comes to coming up with titles…)._

_…Or at least that was the thought, but this chapter turned out to be really long and the end of it is coming kind of slowly, so I've decided to divide this chapter into two parts instead of making you wait even longer for an update…_

* * *

"So this is Stars Hollow?" Matt asks and looks out the window.

"Yep" Jess answers shortly. "Blink and you might miss it"

Rory punches his shoulder playfully. "There's Luke's diner" She says and points out the window and smiles as Matt, Vanessa and even Chris looks in the direction of her finger. "And there's the gazebo" She points in the other direction and once again the backseat passengers follows her direction on where to look. "Oh! And there's Taylor!" She exclaims and points to the man, who's standing on the sidewalk outside of Doose's looking suspiciously at the car.

Matt raises his hand and waves to the man, thereby turning the suspicious look into a confused one as the man takes a step out onto the street to gaze at the disappearing car.

A short while and several head turns following the directions of Rory's pointing later, Jess pulls the car up on the Gilmore driveway.

They all step out of the car and look around them as Rory leads them towards the front porch. Half way across the lawn, the door is opened and an enthusiastic Lorelai steps out with a huge smile on her lips.

"Hey" She greets them as she descends the stairs. "We have to leave right away if we're going to get to Hartford in time" She talks in a fast pace as she pulls Rory in for a hug.

"Oh, ok" Rory says as her mother lets her out of the embrace.

"No need to prolong the night or increase the amount of hostility" Lorelai turns to Jess and with a smile on her face she pulls him as well into a greeting hug.

With a startled look on his face, Jess reluctantly pads her arm and Rory giggles at the picture.

"That was awkward" Lorelai states as she steps back and Jess nods in agreement. "We'll work on appropriate greetings at a later time" She promises with a trying smile on her lips.

"Mom" Rory says and catches her mother's attention. "This is Jess' friends: Matt, Vanessa and Chris" She points towards them and is relieved to see her mother shaking their hands instead of continuing with her hugging.

"Luke's inside and Michel's at the Dragonfly, ready to check you in whenever you feel like it. Sorry for leaving this abruptly, if you'd ever met my mother, you'd understand the rush" Lorelai smiles as she continues talking while dragging Rory with her towards her car.

"Intense woman" Chris states when both Gilmore girls have settled themselves in Lorelai's car.

"I like her" Vanessa clarifies and points towards the open front door. "Shall we?"

"I didn't say I didn't like her" Chris mutters to himself as the group makes their way through the door.

Walking into the living room they see Luke coming down the stairs, his hair wet and his hands occupied with buttoning the last buttons in his flannel shirt. "Oh, hi" He stops for a split second before continuing down the stairs.

Quickly and with a very formal handshake he introduces himself to Jess' friends. "I'm Jess' uncle" He explains, although he'd met both Matt and Chris at the open house.

When introductions are made silence falls over the room.

"Lorelai was worried you wouldn't make it in time" Luke blurts out, filling the silence.

"We met her" Jess informed and the silence ensues.

"So…" Luke starts and drifts off with that one word. They're all still standing awkwardly in the living room. The silence in the room is a sharp contrast to Lorelai's babbling greeting on the lawn.

Vanessa is the one to break the silence, turning to Jess. "Why don't you give us the tour of the town?"

"Yes" Luke interrupts before Jess has a chance to oppose, his voice filled with enthusiasm at the suggestion. "That's a great idea"

Jess rolls his eyes. "Sure"

"Good, great" Luke says while nodding fervently, obviously relieved at the outlook of getting out of the awkward standing they were all participating in. "Stop by the diner when you're done and I'll feed you"

Jess simply nods.

"Thank you" Vanessa says and elbows her boyfriend in the side.

Matt rips his eyes away from the monkey lamp he'd been studying on the side table and reaches his hand out towards Luke. "Yes, thank you…sir" Both Luke and Matt cringes at the word 'sir', but they still shake each other's hands.

"Thank you" Chris interrupts the awkwardness by patting his hand on Luke's shoulder, a gesture that seems to sit better with Luke than the forced handshake.

* * *

"What's with the hugging?" Rory asks, amused as they settle inside the car.

"It was weird, right?" Lorelai looks at her as she backs them out of the driveway, smoothly avoiding bumping into Jess' car. "It felt weird" She adds.

"Yeah" Rory admits.

"I don't know…after reading his book I kind of felt like I knew him. Like we've been up all night in a heart-to-heart conversation and now we're buddies"

"Buddies that hugs?" Rory raises her eye brows.

"Well…buddies that hugged once and then realized they should never do it again?" Lorelai offers and is rewarded with a laugh from her daughter.

They continue to drive for a while in silence. Not an uncomfortable silence though, but one of those silences that you can just relax into, knowing that the other person is there but that there's no pressure to fill the silence with words.

"So…" Lorelai says after a while, trying to look at her daughter and the road simultaneously. "…I'm dying to know how things are going. What have happened since you left, what are your plans for the future, how are his friends taking it – are they being nice?"

Rory stirs at the question regarding Jess' friends. She had decided on the drive to Stars Hollow not to bring up the subject of Chris to her mother, in honor of their truce. But with a question like that? No. Maybe later if the truce thing didn't work out.

She turns to her mother with a wide smile on her lips. "It's going great"

"I'm glad" She says and then turns serious. "What are you telling the grandparents? Are you going to tell them about Jess?"

Rory bites her lip. "I don't know. I keep thinking I should, but they really liked Logan, you know? Maybe I should wait, let them get used to the idea of me not being with Logan first"

Lorelai shrugs her shoulders. "It's your call honey"

Rory nods. "Yeah. I think it's better to wait. It might be easier for them to not hate Jess if they don't know he's the reason I left Logan"

"Maybe" Lorelai purses her lips together and after a few seconds of hesitating she continues. "Just know that my mother has a talent for finding out these kinds of things"

"I'm just thinking it should be me taking the blow for the wedding being cancelled – I don't want them to focus their anger and disappointment on Jess instead of me"

Lorelai nods. "I wish I could say that they'd be supportive and understanding that it is your life and that as long as you're happy it's all that matters, but…" She trails off.

Rory sighs. "Yeah, I know"

"So…" Lorelai starts, changing the subject. "You're getting your stuff from Logan's tomorrow?"

"M-hum" Rory nods. "Jess is going to ask Luke if we can borrow his truck and we're going there around noon"

"You're bringing Jess?" Lorelai sounds surprised.

"I don't know" Rory answers and bites her lower lip – a nervous trait her mother recognizes all too well.

"Come on" Her mother says upfront. "Spill"

"What?"

"Something's on your mind – spill"

"I-I just…I mean, Logan's still hurting and it's my fault…and he'll probably recognize Jess…" She trails off, intently staring down at her lap.

"…but you don't want to tell Jess he can't come, 'cause you think that might hurt his feelings or make him think you have a reason for wanting to go to Logan's on your own?" Lorelai fills in and Rory nods solemnly.

"Yeah…something like that" She mutters into her lap.

"Don't you think he'll understand?" Lorelai asks, carefully choosing her words.

"Maybe…but at the same time…" Rory looks up from her lap. "…I'm not sure I really want to go to Logan's alone." She bites her lip before she continues to explain. "Partly because I have all these heavy things there, like books and stuff, and I can't carry them alone and I'm not sure if Logan will be willing to help – not that I would blame him if he wasn't. And partly because he's so hurt and he has every right to be angry but I don't think I want to be alone with him, because I have no idea what to say to him or how to ease his pain"

"Breathe honey" Lorelai instructs and Rory takes a deep breath. "Why don't we engage Jess and Luke on making space for your stuff in the garage and the rest of us go to Logan's place?"

"You make it sound so simple"

* * *

"Hey, Jess?" Matt says and walks up beside him.

Jess turns his head and looks at his friend.

"Are you famous in this town or something?"

Jess furrows his eyebrows. "Not really. Why?"

Matt chuckles. "'Cause I kinda feel like I'm walking next to Brad Pitt or something"

Jess stops and smirks at him. "Brad Pitt, huh?"

"Yeah. People are pointing and staring and whispering behind our backs. What did you do? Starr in the high school play or something?"

Jess looks around and sees a whole bunch of people stopping dead in their tracks and trying just a little bit too hard to look casual. He lets out a short laugh. "That's just how this town looks at newcomers – better get used to it"

"Come on" Matt pushes. "You must have done something, it's been – what – 4 years since you lived here?"

"Guess I'm just that memorable"

"So you haven't done anything to draw this kind of attention simply by walking around town? Come on, tell me. Where you the quarterback that scored the winning goal in that really important game?"

Jess shrugs his shoulders. "I didn't do anything"

"Oh, he did plenty" Vanessa interrupts, a huge smile on her face, rewarding her with an ice-cold glare from Jess.

"Tell me!" Matt pleads, leaving Jess' side and walking up to Vanessa's.

"Well…" She starts with a teasing smile on her lips. "…for starters, there was the missing money out of the bridge-donation-cup"

Jess rolls his eyes. "Which I replaced"

"You stole charity money?" Matt asks, his eyes widening at the thought.

"Borrowed" Jess corrects him. "I put them back the next day. No big deal"

"And he kidnapped Pierpon" Vanessa continues, taking no notice of Jess' interjections.

"Pierpon?" Chris asks amused.

"A lawn-gnome" Vanessa explains, trying really hard to hold back her laugh.

"I see" Chris counters with a smirk on his lips.

"As if you guys never did bad things when you were young" Jess mutters as they cross a street corner.

"Of course we did…" Matt says as he puts his arm around Vanessa's shoulders. "…but we didn't write a book where we confessed all of them"

"Shut up" Jess snaps, but there's an amused spark in his eyes, taking the edge off his words.

"I want to see the bridge where Luke pushed you in" Vanessa insists and knowing there was no getting of his tour-guide duties, Jess steered them in the direction of the bridge.

* * *

Rory takes a deep breath and blows the air out slowly and audible.

Lorelai turns to look at her and sees the anxious and nervous expressions on her face. "Maybe it won't be that bad" She reaches her hand out and rubs Rory's shoulder, shooting her a strained smile.

"Yeah" She sighs. "What's the worst that could happen, right?"

"Oh" Lorelai starts. ""Don't go there, honey" Rory gives her a confused look and Lorelai explains. "Gilmore's see that – to other people rhetoric question – as a challenge"

"Mom" Rory sighs again, her voice tired.

"I'm serious" Lorelai lowers her voice into a whisper. "Every time someone stood here on these very porch steps and uttered the words 'what's the worst that could happen' things have gone above and beyond the realms of 'the worst that could happen'"

"Gee, thanks for the comfort" Rory sneers.

"I'm just keeping it real" Lorelai smiles, but when met with Rory's miserable-looking face she immediately turns serious. "It'll be okay honey. Now, the sooner we ring the doorbell and enter the house – the sooner we'll be on our way home"

With a deep breath and a determined face Rory leans forward and rings the doorbell, an uneasy feeling spreading through her entire body as the sound of the doorbell echoes through the house.

* * *

He would never admit it to anyone, but Jess had enjoyed showing his friends around Stars Hollow. He smiles when thinking about how Vanessa had filled in every here and there with small stories from the book. His book.

Walking through town hearing her tell bits and pieces about the time he spent there as a teenager had felt like walking through history. It was this place that had made him want to change. This place and the two people in it that had believed he could do better.

"If we're done touring, the diner's over there" Jess points across the street.

"I could go for a burger" Matt responds and looks around him at the rest of the group. When met with nothing but agreeing nods he takes the lead as they cross the street.

"You could always go for a burger" Jess grins and for a split second he hesitates his steps as his gaze catches a familiar form standing at the street corner outside Luke's.

Vanessa notices the hesitation and follows his gaze to a lanky, brown-haired guy staring at them with nothing but hate and contempt in his eyes.

Looking back at Jess, with a question on her tongue she sees him staring back with pretty much the same look in his eyes.

"Wow" Chris says, having picked up on the tension growing around them, as Dean makes a move and disappears down the street in the opposite direction. "So much for small town friendliness"

Jess doesn't say anything, instead he shrugs his shoulders and keeps walking as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

Vanessa gasps and stops. "It was him, right?"

"Who?" Matt and Chris asks in unison, stopping as well and looking down the street where the guy had disappeared.

"Maybe" Jess answers impatiently, stopping as well to wait for his friends.

"Who?" Matt asks again, louder this time.

"The guy Rory dated when she met Jess"

"Ah" Matt nods in understanding. "By the looks I take it that he didn't step down willingly?"

"Not quite" Vanessa answers.

Jess sighs. "I thought you were hungry?" He gestures towards the diner and they all start moving towards it again.

Before entering the diner, Chris stops on the base of the stairs and looks over his shoulder as Dean steps out of a store down the street. Their eyes meet for a short moment before Dean turns away and continues in the other direction.

Chris nods to himself before he walks up the stairs and enters the diner.


	31. Dinner's and Diner's

_Thank you for all of your reviews! I can't say that enough, because they really do mean a lot!_

_I'm sorry for the delay, but it's been holidays and stuff and I had such a hard time writing the dinner-scenes with Emily and Richard – I'm still not completely pleased with how it turned out, but I can't keep rewriting it and keeping my lovely readers at suspense. I would love to know what you think about them. Emily Gilmore is terribly hard to write!_

* * *

There's a tense silence hovering in the Gilmore house as they all sit in the living room, trying hard not to look as uncomfortable as they feel.

Lorelai spins her martini glass in her hand, watching the olive in it swirl in the current made by her spins. Her whole body is tense, she's ready to jump in and defend her daughter at any sign of struggle.

Rory traces a pattern on the wall-paper with her eyes, wishing and hoping with every bone in her body that the question of _why_ she left her fiancé at the altar won't come up. Emily is watching her with an intent gaze, but doesn't utter a word.

Richard is still in his office, claiming he had to wait for an important phone call before joining them.

The room is quiet. Somewhere in the house you can even hear a clock ticking. The seconds seem to pass by slower than usual and Rory wonders if seconds were always this slow when you sat down and listened to them or if the clock was in desperate need to be wind up.

With a loud exhale of breath, Lorelai places her glass down on the coffee-table. "So, mom…" She starts, making Emily finally take her piercing stare off of Rory and turn it towards her daughter. "…what's new in the DAR? Anyone get kicked out lately? Made a scene at a fund-raiser? Served too hot tea at a luncheon?"

"You never asked about the DAR before" Emily states in a cold tone.

Lorelai sighs. "What's wrong with me being interested in the things you do? Can't I ask about the DAR only because I never have before?" She stops to take a breath and notices the look her mother is sending in Rory's way and then speaks up again, forcing her mother to shift her focus back to her once again. "That's an odd policy. I mean, if the conversation policy is to never ask about anything you haven't asked about before then you'll quickly run out of things to talk about. You'll just be repeating the same topics dinner after dinner after dinner"

"Fine!" Emily says and turns to Lorelai with held-back irritation seeping out of her every pore. "First of all, we don't serve tea at luncheons – we serve tea at tea-parties"

"Of course" Lorelai mutters under her breath while sharing an amused look with Rory.

"Second of all – we don't kick people out. We set the standards high to begin with and if someone feels they can no longer live up to the standards set, they will be _asked_ to resign"

"But what if they don't want to resign?" Lorelai is starting to look intrigued by the discussion and when Emily answers, Rory tunes out and lets her mind drift to other things. Mainly, how to avoid telling them about Jess when the subject of the cancelled wedding comes up – which it's bound to do.

* * *

"So this is where teenage-Jess used to live?" Vanessa says as she spins on her heels and looks around the diner-apartment.

"Pretty much" Jess sighs. He hadn't intended for this to be part of the tour, but Vanessa was mesmerized by any place mentioned in his book and he knew better than to start an argument with her over something that didn't really matter anyway.

"A bit girly, don't you think?" Chris asks and chuckles.

"Yeah" Matt picks up. "What's up with the purple bedspread? You went through a phase in high school?"

"Shut up" Jess bites back.

"No, really" Chris continues, cheered on by Matt's smiling face. "The poster of…" He squints his eyes towards a poster hanging over the bed. "…that really cute boy over there – you must have missed it all these years"

"Yeah, and this…" Matt has walked over to the part of the apartment that used to be Jess' and holds up a large make-up brush. "…how _did_ you survive without this?"

"My _cousin_ has taken over the space after me" He explains with a glare in both their ways.

"Yeah, if that's your story" Matt raises his eyebrows and puts the brush down.

"It's a nice place" Vanessa chimes in, changing the focus from mocking Jess towards the apartment.

"It's small" Jess states.

"But still…." Vanessa smiles. "It's cozy"

Jess shrugs his shoulders, but there's a faint smile on his lips as he looks around the place. Yeah, it was cozy – mainly because of all the memories that surrounded it. Mainly memories of times he spent with Rory, pretending that they were studying.

"So…" Vanessa claps her hands together as to round things up. "…I could really go for a cup of that famous Luke's Diner's coffee"

"And a burger!" Matt chimes in with a grin on his face.

"Food's downstairs" Jess explains as he opens the door and holds it while his friends step out and start their way down the stairs.

* * *

"This was really good mum" Lorelai says and nods towards her plate, trying to break the tension that seemed to settle over them as soon as the conversation died out – which it seemed to a lot this particular evening. In fact; each time Lorelai stopped to breath or take a chew of her food the conversation came to a stop and everyone stared uncomfortably down at their plates.

"Thank you" Emily nods and then silence ensues yet again.

"Really great" Rory tries but looks down at her plate to examine the peas with her fork when Emily darts her head to look at her.

"What is it?" Lorelai continues, trying to act as if this was just any ordinary Friday night dinner and not the dinner following her daughter's cancelled wedding to a man both her parents seemed to have taken straight to heart.

"On the plate" She adds quickly, to avoid a misinterpretation that could lead to making the tension even worse.

"You know what it is" Emily states, her voice irritated at the questions that keeps interrupting her glaring at her granddaughter across the table.

"It looks like meat" Lorelai starts and hears her mother sigh. "But you can never be too sure these days. I mean there are a lot of vegetarian meat-substitutes that both looks like meat and taste like meat"

"It's veal" Emily deadpans and the room goes silent again.

"Veal, huh?" Lorelai starts, but to her surprise she's interrupter by her mother.

"Yes veal, Lorelai. It looks like veal and it tastes like veal, because it is veal. And even though calves may be cute this particular veal comes from a farm nearby and the calves lived a happy life before they died a very humane death" She stops for a breath and fixates her eyes with her daughter's. "Are we done discussing the topic of veal?"

"Yes mom" Lorelai looks down at her plate and the only sound heard in the dining room is that of cutlery against china.

A few minutes passes by in silence before Rory clears her throat. She takes a deep breath to gather the courage to say what she's about to say and straightens her back when she starts to speak. "I get it if you're mad about the wedding"

Immediately the tension in the room changes as Emily puts her knife and fork down. "I just don't understand it!" She exclaims and throws her hands about.

"Emily" Richard says in a warning tone and sends her a warning glare across the table.

"She brought it up" She quickly defends herself, pointing in Rory's direction. "And honestly I don't see how we're supposed to sit through an entire dinner and play pretend and waltz around a subject that is clearly on everybody's minds"

"Because it's none of your business" Lorelai chimes in, trying to help out the situation.

"None of my business?" Emily repeats, sounding terribly offended. "My granddaughter leaves her fiancé at the altar and you tell me it's none of my business?"

Lorelai cringes. "Well it isn't. It's Rory's life and Rory's decisions"

"You never liked him" Emily states, her eyes boring into Lorelai's. "What did you tell her?"

"What?" Lorelai's eyes widens at the accusation.

"You heard me" Emily nods knowingly in her direction. "What did you say to her to make her leave him like that?"

"She didn't say anything!" Rory interjects, almost shouting.

"Why don't you tell me then what on earth was going through your mind?" Emily turns in her seat and shifts her focus back to Rory.

Rory feels like she's literally shrinking in her seat. "I…I didn't want to marry him" She tries to explain.

"You didn't…" Emily scoffs. "You didn't want to marry him? You certainly didn't voice that concern when we were preparing for the wedding"

"I changed my mind" She tries to defend herself, her voice sounding very small.

"You changed your mind? Oh, that's just marvelous." Emily turns to her husband. "You hear that Richard? She changed her mind"

Rory shrinks even more in her seat when hearing her grandmother's agitated voice. Emily turns back to look at Rory again. "It's not a pair of shoes on sale – it's a marriage. It's a commitment. You don't just change your mind"

Irritated at the older woman's persistence and unwillingness to understand Rory steadies herself in her seat and meets her gaze. "So you would rather I made a commitment to a man I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with?"

"I'm just saying you're giving up too easy. First sign of doubt and you're out the door – much like your mother"

Lorelai opens her mouth to protest but is cut off as Rory takes tone to defend herself. "You don't know the first thing about why I changed my mind. It wasn't at the first sign of doubt, it was…it was…" Rory trails of, not sure how to explain what had happened without bringing Jess into the conversation and she certainly feels that it's way too early to do that.

"Go on" Her grandmother ushers. "Tell us what it was then? God knows, I'm intrigued" She turns to her husband. "Aren't you intrigued Richard?"

"I would appreciate if you left me out of this" Richard answers and goes back to shuffling food back and forth on his plate.

Emily sneers at him.

Seeing Rory's uneasiness at the direction the conversation seems to have taken Lorelai stands up from her seat. "Hey!" She exclaims, getting everybody's attention. "I have an announcement to make…" She digs through her pocket and picks up a ring and slides it on her finger and holds her hand up. "…Luke and I are engaged to be married"

"Oh, lord" Emily bent her head down, pinching her nose with her fingers.

Across the table Rory mouths a silent 'thank you' to her mother and Lorelai smiles in return.

"Is it like a competition between the two of you?" Emily lifts her head back up and looks from her daughter to her granddaughter. "Who can get engaged the most times without actually making it to the altar?"

"Mom!" Lorelai tries to interject, but her mother doesn't seem to take any notice as she continues on her rant.

* * *

"Oh my God!" Matt exclaims with his mouth full of burger. "This might very well be the best burger I've eaten" He takes another huge bite.

"I'll make sure to tell the chef" Jess says and puts a fry in his mouth.

"I can tell him myself" Matt says and holds the burger up and raises his voice. "Luke!" He gets the man's attention and points towards the burger. "Amazing burger!"

Luke nods and smiles towards the group, before turning around to keep attending his customers.

Jess chuckles and is joined by both Chris and Vanessa.

"Excuse me" A voice asks next to them and they all turn to face a funny looking man standing next to their table while casting nervous glances behind him.

"Hi Kirk" Jess says.

"Hi" He nods and clears his throat. "Visiting?" He asks, spitting the word out fast, almost too fast to be understandable.

"What?" Jess asks.

Kirk casts another glance behind his back and sighs before he turns his focus back to Jess. "Are you visiting?"

Jess smirks knowingly and leans back in his chair. "Maybe"

"Ehm…oh…okay" Kirk answers and starts walking away but doesn't get far before he turns around. "How long are you planning on staying?"

"Don't know" Jess answers, making Kirk look, if possible, even more uncomfortable.

"Hmm…" Kirk utters and then stands there in silence for a while before speaking up again. Are you here for the engagement party?"

"Among other things"

Kirk turns around and shrugs his shoulders towards a gray-haired man, watching them intently from behind a large window pane. They can't hear it through the glass, but it looks like the man is grunting before he turns around and walks away.

"Who was that?" Chris asks amused.

"That was Kirk" Jess explains and chuckles.

"And why were we being so rude?" Matt asks, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

"Because it annoys Taylor" Luke answers as he drops by to refill their coffees. A grin appears on his face as he waves to the man standing behind the counter in his shop on the other side of the glass window.

Matt nods and waves as well, placing a very confused look on the man's face.

* * *

"That was fun" Lorelai states, her voice dripping with irony as the girls settles themselves in the car outside the Gilmore house.

"Yeah" Rory agrees while staring blankly in front of her.

"I'm sorry honey" Lorelai lays her arm around Rory's shoulder and pulls her closer, kissing her forehead. "I tried to run interference by springing the Luke-engagement-news on her"

"That only seemed to agitate her" Rory's voice is tired and defeated.

"Yeah" Lorelai sighs. "I didn't not see that one coming"

Rory shakes her head and turns to face her mother. "Are we that bad with men? I mean all those things she said about broken engagements and running at any signs of trouble?"

"No" Lorelai shakes her head as well. "No" She turns to face her daughter. "She's just upset because she liked the thought of Logan as her grandson-in-law, just like they once dreamed of Christopher as their son-in-law"

"Yeah" Rory looks down at her lap as Lorelai starts pulling the car out of the driveway. "Do you think they'll ever get over it?"

Lorelai smirks. "Since I, as has just been proven and thrown in my face, have a habit of leaving men at the altar – take it from me: they'll get over it with time" She attempts a smile in her daughter's direction as she puts the car in gear and heads home towards Stars Hollow.

* * *

"Coffee!" Lorelai shouts as she throws her upper-body across the counter at Luke's.

"Rough night?" He asks while placing two cups on the counter and starting to fill them with coffee.

"You have no idea" Lorelai lifts her head up and he places a soft kiss on her lips.

"Hey" Jess appears behind them and Rory throws her arms around his neck and lets out a deep breath as she relaxes into his arms.

"I'm so glad you're here" She says and he kisses her cheek.

"Rough night?" He asks, without knowing he's repeating his uncle's question.

"You have no idea" Rory answers, knowingly repeating her mother's reply and she smiles wide as she kisses him softly.

"Hey!" Lorelai reaches her hand out and nudges Rory's arm. "If you're planning on keeping that up, I better take you to the Inn right away and show you your room!"

"Lorelai!" Luke protests at the same time that Rory exclaims "Mom!" with a distinct blush on her cheeks.

Quietly laughing Vanessa and the guys come up to them. "I could go for that room as well" Vanessa says and Matt winks in her way, which rewards him with a slap on the wrist.

"For showering, relaxing and getting some sleep after a long day" She explains with a stern look on her face.

"I know how to make you relaxed" Matt says, trying to sound seducing while wiggling his eyebrows. Vanessa shakes her head, but still places a quick kiss on his lips. He draws her closer and returns the kiss.

Looking a little lost, Chris stands surrounded by the three happy couples and sighs as he glances out the window.


	32. Chapter 32

_Again, I'm sorry for the delay. There's a lot of crap going on in my life right now and as a result of that I've been lacking in inspiration lately. I'm not very pleased with how this chapter turned out at all, I don't think it flows very good, but I felt I had to give you something and I honestly don't know how I could write it any different… _

_I __**will**__ finish this and all of my other stories, it's just that the updating will maybe be a bit slower for a while as I'm having troubles focusing with everything that's going on._

* * *

"Sookie has made enough breakfast to feed a small country" Lorelai explains as she points at a table. "So stock up on energy – 'cause everything's on the house and we have a lot to do today" She smiles as the small group of people heads towards the table.

When Rory passes her, she grabs onto her arm and stops her as the rest of the group continues on towards the table. "Have you talked to him?" She whispers and Rory looks confused. "To Jess. About him not going to Logan's" she clarifies and Rory's face drops as she shakes her head.

"You might want to do that" Lorelai looks over at Jess, who looks back at them as he sits down next to Lane at the table. "Soon" She adds.

Rory nods and sighs. "I will" She goes to join her friends at the table.

"Hi there little guy" Matt bends down to look at Steve, who's staggering around, currently using Matt's leg to hold onto for stability. Steve simply looks up at him, studying the stranger with wide eyes.

"He's a bit shy" Lane explains as the child turns around, grabs onto her leg instead and hides his face in her lap, where his brother's sitting.

"Yeah" Matt smiles wide. "I was too as a child"

When Rory pulls out the chair next to Jess and sits down on it, Lane turns her gaze away from her son. "You need any more help with the move?" She asks, while shifting Kwan's weight on her legs. "I could ask Zach and Brian, and I'm pretty sure Gil still has the van if you need it"

Rory hesitates. "Actually…" Everyone's attention is turned towards her. "…I think it's better if we try to minimize the numbers of the moving party" She looks down at the table, feeling slightly embarrassed at her suggestion, and even more at the thought of just who she's thinking about excluding from the moving party.

"That might be a good idea" Vanessa nods and Rory sends her a thankful look. "The guy's just been dumped by his fiancée" Rory grimaces at her words, but she continues anyway. "At least I don't think Jess should come"

At that moment Rory could have jumped across the table and hugged her for lifting that block of off her shoulders.

"Why not?" Jess shoots back as he furrows his eyebrows.

Vanessa rolls her eyes. "I know you don't like the guy…but having the new boyfriend come move Rory's things out might be rubbing a little too much salt in his fresh wounds, don't you think?"

Reluctantly Jess nods in agreement. "So what do I do? Sit around here and wait?"

"Oh, no my dear" Lorelai quips in. "There's a ton of things for you to do. The garage needs to be cleaned out to make room for Rory's things, Luke could probably use your help at the diner with the entire town storming it to try and pry details about what's going on out of him, and also the gutters could use some cleaning"

"The gutters?" Jess looks confused. "What do they have to do with anything?"

"They need cleaning" Lorelai replies quickly.

"Nice try" Jess smirks in her direction.

"Ah, well…" Lorelai smiles.

"So…" Matt looks around the table, unsure. "Do you still want us to come?"

"Well…" Rory looks at Jess and bites her lip. "I could use some help with carrying things…"

"Vanessa and the guys will go with you" Jess says and places his hand on top of hers on the table. "I'll stay here and clean out" With a pointed look towards Lorelai he adds: "The garage"

Lorelai pouts for a second and then smiles as she starts talking again. "I'll talk to Luke about borrowing his truck"

* * *

The moving party, consisting of Rory, Vanessa, Matt, Chris and Lorelai, make their way down the hall and towards Logan's apartment. No one utters a word as they walk and when they reach the door, Rory stops and hesitates for a second before she takes a deep breath and reaches her hand out and knocks.

They're all waiting in silence as they hear someone inside the apartment moving closer to the door. Moments later, when the door is slowly opened and Rory feels herself flinch at the movement she realizes how tensed she's been about this ever since they left Stars Hollow.

"Hey" Logan's eyes are bloodshed and he looks tired as he lifts his head to a nod as he greets them.

"Hey" Rory looks down at her feet. "I brought a few friends to help me carry things" She explains with a vague gesture towards the people behind her.

Logan nods again and pushes the door wide open for them to enter. Rory mirrors his nod before she takes a few steps into the apartment and looks around her. It looks almost the same as when she was last here the day before her wedding. A little messier maybe.

"I've started putting some of your things into boxes" Logan says and gestures towards a few boxes sitting on the kitchen counter. "Mostly books and stuff"

Rory nods again, and then for the first time since he opened the door she looks up and meets his eyes. "Thank you"

He tries to hold onto her gaze until she feels compelled to look away and break the tension that threatened to build up. She clears her throat to say something, anything to make this moment feel less weird and tense, but is interrupted by Matt before any words leave her mouth.

"Wow" Matt steps forward, unknowingly placing himself right between Logan and Rory as he looks around the apartment. "Cool place" He turns to face Logan as he speaks.

"Thanks" Logan attempts a smile and then furrows his brows as he watches Matt. "I don't think I've met you…"

"Oh…well…eh…I…" Matt stutters while gesturing around him with his hands, not sure how to explain who he is in relation to Rory without mentioning Jess.

"He's my boyfriend" Vanessa steps in and reaches her hand out for Logan to shake it. "I'm Vanessa" Logan nods and she continues, gesturing to Matt and Chris. "And that's Matt and Chris – I brought them to help with the move"

Logan nods, although there's a thoughtful expression on his face as he observes the three of them.

"And you've met my mother" Rory adds quickly and gestures towards her mother.

"Yeah" Logan raises his hand to a small wave in Lorelai's direction. "Hi"

"Hi" Lorelai waves back. "So…" She takes a few steps forward towards the group that has formed around Logan and Rory. "…shall we get started?"

* * *

Behind his book, Jess can spot Babette and Miss Patty at a table in the back, whispering with their heads leaned close together. He rolls his eyes and focuses on his book again. This town was too nosy for its own good.

"Refills" Luke shoves the coffee-pot in front of Jess and gestures towards a table by the window.

"Got it" Jess folds his book into his back pocket and heads with the coffee-pot in the direction of the table in need of a refill.

"Do you think he knows" Babette leans over the table and tries to whisper to Miss Patty, but her shrill voice carries through.

Jess rolls his eyes. He had never met the like of the nosiness in this town.

"Of course he knows" He hears Miss Patty whisper back across their table. "I'll bet that's why he's here"

"Ooooh" Babette breathes loudly. "Lorelai's gonna be mad"

"Refills?" Jess asks after taking a few large steps over to their table.

"Oh, oh" Miss Patty stutters, both women looking rather perplexed at his sudden presence at their table. "Yes dear" Miss Patty quickly gathers herself and pushes her mug forward.

Babette does the same and Jess proceeds to refill their mugs without uttering a word as both women scrutinizes him with their gazes.

"I think he knows" Jess hears Barbette's failure attempt at a whisper as he makes his way back to the counter, smirking.

* * *

"Hey" Lorelai peaks her head into the bedroom, where Rory's busy packing the last of her clothes into a box. "We're about done with the packing out here, so we're engaging the boys in some heavy carrying. You'll be okay?"

Rory nods. "Yeah, I'm almost done"

"Good" Lorelai sends her an encouraging smile before she turns around and Rory can hear her starting to give out orders to Matt and Chris regarding which boxes to start with.

Things had gone unexpectedly smooth today. Logan had been nice and civil; he had even helped packing a few boxes. She could understand how hard this must be for him and she had expected him to be angry – which he had every right to be, and make this move a lot harder for her.

She looks up from her packing as she hears someone entering the bedroom.

"You need any help?" Logan offers and his broken appearance clearly shows how much the nice and civil act had cost him.

Rory smiles, hoping that he will understand how much she appreciates his efforts to make things easier for the both of them. "It's okay. I'm almost done"

Logan nods and looks like he's about to turn around and leave. Suddenly, it seems, he changes his mind and starts talking. "These last couple of days, I've had time to think. A lot of time. About what happened, about us"

He takes a small step closer to her, and Rory puts the empty hanger she's been holding back in the closet.

"Logan…" She tries to stop him, but he quickly interrupts her.

"I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter, I want to be with you" He talks fast, as if he's afraid she'll cut him off again if she gets the chance and all while talking he moves closer and closer to where Rory stands. "I can live with being your second choice. Over time maybe you'll even get over him."

When Logan comes to a stop, he's standing only inches away from Rory. She shakes her head. "I can't"

She had thought this was all going so smooth. Why did he have to do this?

Logan's face hardens at her rejecting words. "It's that writer guy, right?" He scoffs. "I knew it when I met him that he was trouble. I should have punched him while I had the chance"

His intuition was a little too good, and Rory sighed. "Logan, don't…"

He shakes his head and interrupts her again; pleading this time. "Please Rory…I don't know what to do without you. I'm lost and I'm miserable without you. We can work through this; I'll help you get over him"

Rory hesitates, now would probably be the time to tell him that she was with Jess; that she had been wrong when she said he didn't want to be with her. But how did you do that?

Logan seems to interpret her hesitation as being in his favor, because there's a new light of hope in his eyes as he reaches for her arm and continues. "We were good together. We were great together, and we can be great again. You said he didn't want to be with you, right? Well, I do and I will spend every day of my life making you happy"

"He…" Rory starts. "I…" She continues. Why was it so hard? "I was wrong" She finally says.

"You were wrong? About what?" Logan's grip on her arm fastens and his intense gaze feels like it's burning on her face. "About us?" He asks, his tone revealing that he doesn't really believe that's what she was wrong about.

"No" Rory shakes her head and backs away from him. "About him…about him not wanting to be with me"

Logan scoffs and lets go of her arm. "It figures"

"I'm sorry" Rory tries to apologize, without really knowing for what. With a hurt look on his face, Logan waves her apology away.

"I'm just gonna…" She gestures towards the half-full box on the floor, grabs it and hurries out of the room.

On the other side of the door, she almost bumps in to Chris where he stands, leaning against the wall next to the door. It's obvious he's been eavesdropping, but she doesn't say anything to call him on it, after the confrontation with Logan's feeling she just doesn't have the energy.

Chris straightens himself up from the wall and clears his throat. "I was just looking for more boxes to take down to the truck" He explains, the guilty look on his face revealing his lie.

"Here" Rory shoves the box she's holding into his hands. "That's the last" She says before she heads for the door and leaves the apartment.

* * *

Having packed all of Rory's stuff into Lorelai's garage, the group, now accompanied by Jess, is walking through the streets of Stars Hollow heading towards the diner.

Ignoring all the prying looks from the townspeople, Jess casually throws his arm around Rory's shoulders. She turns her head around and smiles towards him and leans into his embrace as they keep walking.

A crowd of people is seen standing talking on the other side of the street, both Miss Patty and Babette is among them and they're whispering excitedly to each other while not-so-subtly gesturing towards the group.

"I'm guessing Babette's washer will be broken in a few hours" Lorelai lowers her voice and whispers to Rory as she waves a greeting to the ladies across the street.

"What?" Rory looks confused.

"So Babette will have an excuse to come over and get the latest gossip on you and Jess" Lorelai explains, as if that would have been obvious.

"Oh" Rory breathes and looks over at the group.

"So?" Lorelai hesitates. "What do I tell her?"

"Tell her to mind her own business" Jess chimes in.

Lorelai rolls her eyes. "Stars Hollow doesn't work that way my friend"

"Tell them to come to the town meeting this afternoon" Rory explains and smiled to herself.

Lorelai stops for half a second. "Town meeting?" She catches up with them again. "What's happening at the town meeting?"

"Come to the meeting and you'll see" Rory answers, still smiling.

"I'll have to wait until the town meeting to find out? Don't I get some kind of VIP-treatment for being your mother?"

Rory frees herself of Jess' embrace and pulls the door open as they reach the diner. "Nope" She gestures for her mother to step inside.

Jess smiles at their bickering and his smile widens as both Matt and Vanessa follows Lorelai into the diner and immediately picks it up, dangling little pieces of information about their plan in front of her without really giving anything away.

"Jess?" He rips his eyes away from the scene in the diner and turns around to look at Chris, standing on the street a few feet away, looking rather uncomfortable.

Jess gestures for Rory to go ahead into the diner and turns his focus back to Chris. "Yeah?"

"I…" He looks down at his feet and clears his throat before continuing. "Do you have another copy of the book?"

Jess looks surprised. "Sure. Why?"

"Well, I…" He glances at Rory through the window. "I was wondering if I could maybe read it?" He grimaces and then quickly adds: "I mean, you let Vanessa read it, and with the plan and everything…I thought…"

Jess smirks. "Sure. I'll get you a copy when we get back to the Inn"

Chris smiles. "Thanks"


	33. The plan

_I'm so sorry for taking my time getting this final chapter out. This is the very last chapter of this story – but don't worry there'll be a sequel (more about that towards the end…)_

_Thank you to all of you that have read and liked my story – I'm glad I got to share it with you! And a special huge thanks to all of those that have left reviews: THANK YOU!_

* * *

"So everything went okay at Logan's?" Jess asks as Rory stands in front of the mirror in their room at the Inn, brushing her hair.

She nods. "Yeah"

"Good" He nods as well. "I…" He starts, but drifts off. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I can understand why you didn't want me to come"

"Good" She puts the brush down and turns to face him. "I feel sorry for him"

"Yeah" Jess nods again. "How's he dealing with it?"

Rory shrugs her shoulders. "Okay I guess. I don't know really"

"He didn't say anything?"

Without giving it any closer thought, Rory decides within a second not to tell Jess about the talk between her and Logan. It doesn't feel right against Logan to tell Jess about his breakdown. "No" She turns to look in the mirror again. "We didn't really talk"

"Okay" Jess stands up from where he's been sitting at the edge of the bed. "Ready to go face the town?" He smirks at her in the mirror and she turns around to face him.

"Yep" She reaches up to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Let's go!"

* * *

"I'm nervous" Rory whispers as the group stands outside Miss Patty's dance studio, where the town meeting is going on inside.

"Don't be" Jess whispers back and squeezes her hand reassuringly.

"The plan is great and it'll be fine" Vanessa whispers on her other side.

Rory takes a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Why are we whispering?" A confused Matt leans closer, whispering as well.

"I don't know" Rory answers in a low voice. "It just seems like the kind of thing you do in a situation like this"

Matt nods with a serious look on his face as Rory pushes the door open with a quiet "Here we go" and steps inside, closing the door behind her as the rest of the group takes a step back and waits outside for their turn.

Trying not to look too hard at the faces in the crowd, Rory walks towards the front of the meeting. The room goes silent as everyone's watching her determined walk.

When she reaches the front, she turns and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for interrupting the meeting like this, but I have something I would like to say…"

"Young lady, you can't just storm in here like this" Taylor interrupts and bangs his gavel for attention.

Rory's eyes flicker between him and the crowd, where she has spotted her mother and Lane, both of which are nodding encouraging towards her as Taylor continues: "If you have an issue you want to address, you have to put it on the meeting agenda and wait for your turn. This kind of outburst disrupts the order of the meeting and is not appreciated by–"

"Oh Taylor, shut up!" Babette shouts out, interrupting Taylor and then turns towards Rory. "Go on, sugar."

Rory sends a thankful smile in Babette's direction and clears her throat before she starts talking, having lost little of her momentum thanks to the interruption from Taylor.

"Well…as I was saying…" She starts as she twirls her hands in front of her. "I guess most of you know by now that I was supposed to get married about a week ago and that I cancelled the wedding…"

An interested murmur is heard throughout the crowd of people as they start whispering to each other and Rory raises her voice as she continues. "I want you all to know that I didn't cancel the wedding because of anything that Logan did"

The crowd goes silent following that announcement and Rory takes a deep breath. "It was wrong of me to say yes to him in the first place because I was in love someone else"

The whispering murmur starts up again as the townspeople digests the news. She hears Miss Patty mention Jess' name and she can't help but smile. Of course his presence in town so soon after her cancelled wedding must have lead to people drawing conclusions.

She takes another deep breath and clears her throat before she continues with what she had planned to say. "What reminded me of this was a book. A book written by the man I love. I want all of you to get a chance to get to know that man, because you're all important to me and I want you to understand why I love him as much as I do. Because even though he used to live in this town I don't think either of you really know him. I mean, you know him, but you don't _know_ him. Not the way I do. Not that I want you to know him the same way I do, that would be weird…" Rory looks across the room and notices Lane gesturing for her to stop rambling and she smiles.

"Anyway...He wrote a book and I want all of you to read it and maybe see some of what I see when I look at him. There's a free copy for each of you, which you can grab on your way out…" She points towards the doors where Chris, Jess, Matt and Vanessa has appeared with a few boxes filled with Jess' book.

Jess' presence in the room effectively puts a stop to all guesses of who the mystery man that wrote Rory a book could possibly be and whispered sentences where everyone claimed that 'they saw it coming' or that 'they always knew there was something there' replaced the earlier speculations.

A sudden rustling of a chair catches everyone's attention as Dean stands up and with a loud scoff heads towards the exit.

"Don't you want a copy of the book?" Vanessa offers as he passes them by.

He stops. "No thank you" He answers with a pointed look towards Rory before he picks up his walk and leaves all while slowly shaking his head.

* * *

"I think you already got them" Matt whispers as yet another townsperson walks by and throws a nod and a smile in Jess' direction.

"Free stuff always makes people happy and friendly" Vanessa smiles as she hands out another book.

"Yeah, but I…" Jess starts, but is interrupted by someone approaching him and calling his name.

"Jess!" He turns around and sees Kirk walking towards him.

"Hi Kirk" Jess nods as the man approaches.

"I wanted to ask you…" Kirk started after nodding a short 'hello' towards Jess' friends. "…are you planning on turning your book into a movie?"

"Well, I–" Jess starts but Kirk takes no notice of his interjection.

"Because I do have some experience in the movie-making business. I could send you a sample of my work" Not knowing what to say, Jess stares blankly at him as he hands him a business card.

"I know the card says 'gardener', but that's just a temporary career. Making movies is my dream. My life's calling if you will"

"Huh" Is all Jess can think of saying.

"Think about it" He says before he turns around and starts walking away. "Lulu would make a great Rory!" He calls out before he blends in with the crowd heading towards the town square and Lorelai's engagement party.

"What's wrong with people?" Rory asks as she stumbles towards them, leaning herself against Jess, who's still staring after the disappearing Kirk.

"You tell me" He replies and places a kiss against her forehead.

"I've had Babette and Miss Patty trying to get me to tell them what the book is about" She sighs. "We gave them the book! Go read it people!"

"Or they could wait and watch the movie" Jess adds and Rory looks at him, confused.

"Kirk" He explains and she nods in understanding.

* * *

Sipping at her celebratory glass of champagne, Rory looks around the town square where the engagement party for Luke and her mother was taking place. It looked more like a gigantic book circle than a party though…

She smiles, at least they seemed to like the book. Jess is standing by her side, also looking around the square.

"Hey!" Lorelai appears by her side out of nowhere and nudges her shoulder, smiling. "Thanks for turning my engagement party into a reading fest!"

"Sorry" Rory grimaces and Lorelai laughs.

"It's okay. I've got some money going on who finishes it first: Babette, Miss Patty or East Side Tilly"

"Who's your money on?" Rory asks as she looks around, seeing all three of them, among a bunch of other people, completely engulfed in the pages of the book.

"Babette" Lorelai nods. "There's nothing that gets her going as the want to be the first one to spread the gossip to those that hasn't read the book. Besides, she's twenty-five pages ahead of both Miss Patty and Tilly"

"How did that happen?" Rory looks surprised as she watches them.

"Well, Miss Patty got all hyped up about Matt here" Lorelai gestures towards Matt. "Until she figured out he had a girlfriend, but that gave Babette a strong lead. As for Tilly, I don't know…" Lorelai lowered her voice. "I think she's just a slow reader"

"So Babette's in the lead, huh?" Rory smiles, the book seemed to have caught everyone's interest to say the least. She had been worried that no one would make the effort to even open it.

"Yep" Lorelai nods. "But Miss Patty's closing in. She's quick reader" An evil smile appears on Lorelai's face and her eyes drifts towards Chris, standing a few feet away, talking to Taylor. "But I got a plan…"

"What?" Rory follows her mother's gaze.

"I'm just saying…Miss Patty doesn't know that he's single yet…" She points towards Chris.

Rory smiles and fails to hold back a giggle. "Poor Chris"

"Nah" Lorelai shrugs her shoulders. "I'll give him a share of the money when I win" Smiling, she makes her way towards Chris. "Oooh, Chriiis" She says in a sing-song voice as she closes in on him.

Rory shakes her head at her mother and sneaks her arm around Jess' waist and looks around the town square again. Everywhere, people are reading. Reading about her and Jess, about their love.

She smiles and leans closer to Jess. It felt good. Great, actually.

* * *

_How will the elder Gilmore's deal with the fact that Rory not only left Logan the morning of their wedding but also got back together with the boy who showed up for dinner with a black-eye? _

_Has Logan really given up on getting Rory back when learning that she's now with Jess, or will he make another attempt at getting her back?_

_And what's with Dean leaving in the middle of the town meeting, how will he deal with the fact that Rory dumped the Yale-boyfriend to be with Jess?_

_How will the town react to Jess' book? _

_Was overhearing the fight with Logan enough to help Chris get over his trust-issues or will there be more drama on that front?_

_And will working as a local news reporter be enough for Rory? What happened to her dream of becoming an overseas correspondent? She hasn't given that up, has she?_

_If you want the answers to these questions, I suggest you follow the sequel as well… (and last, but absolutely not least, Luke's and Lorelai's wedding will be taking place in the sequel!)_

_Is there anything in this story you feel didn't get finished – please let me know! It's easy to stare yourself blind at your own writing._

_I have to get some sort of timeline together for the things I've planned to happen in the sequel before I start writing and posting. That might take some time, but if you want to I could post the title of the sequel and a summary in this story so you all will know where to go and when :)_

_Also: I really suck with coming up with names for my stories, so if anyone has a suggestion for a title for the sequel I would truly appreciate if you wanted to share it with me :)_


	34. Chapter 34

I just wanted to let you all know that I have posted the sequel now. It is called _Neverending Stories_.

Thanks for waiting for it and thanks for reminding me through Pm:s or reviews that I should actually get started on it!

The sequel starts a week after this story ended and in the sequel, even though the main focus will be on Jess and Rory, there will be more room for other characters and storylines as well! I would love to know what you think of it so far, even though it's just a short first chapter.

Thank you!


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